Things I never asked to Feel

I was trying. That was the embarrassing part. I was actually trying to feel normal again. The movie playing in the background wasn’t even interesting anymore, but Aurelia kept reacting dramatically to every scene like she deserved an award for emotional support. “That man is definitely the killer,” she announced, pointing at the screen. Kane sighed from the floor. “You say that about everyone.” “Because everyone looks suspicious.” Vesper laughed softly beside him, leaning against his shoulder while he wrapped an arm around her automatically.

I looked away after a second. Not because it hurt. Okay, maybe a little. But mostly because seeing mates together felt strange now. Different. Wrong in a way I couldn’t explain. My parents had gone out earlier for dinner, leaving the house to us, which meant Aurelia had unofficially decided we were having a “forced healing night.” Her words. Not mine. “You’re thinking too much again,” Aurelia said suddenly, throwing popcorn at me. I blinked. “Did you just assault me with butter?” “Yes.” “Rude.” “You need personality restoration.”

Kane snorted quietly. “You say weird things.” “And yet I’m still the smartest person here.” “No,” Vesper and Kane said together. I almost smiled at that. Almost. The room felt warm. Comfortable. Normal enough that for a few minutes, I forgot. Forgot Bane. Forgot rejection. Forgot the emptiness sitting in my chest. Then pain hit me so suddenly I gasped. My hand flew to my stomach instinctively. Sharp. Burning. Like claws dragging beneath my skin.

“Livana?” Vesper sat up immediately. I doubled over slightly on the couch, breath catching. “What the hell” The pain spread fast. Lower stomach. Ribs. Chest. I couldn’t breathe properly. Aurelia moved beside me instantly. “Livana?” “I” Another sharp pain cut through me. I cried out softly before I could stop it. Kane stood immediately now, serious. “Something’s wrong.” No kidding. My body felt like it was tearing itself apart from the inside.

Aurelia carefully lifted the edge of my shirt slightly, then froze. “Oh my God.” Vesper inhaled sharply. I looked down. Dark bruises spread across my stomach and sides. Fresh. Ugly. Like someone had grabbed me hard enough to leave damage. Except nobody had touched me. Fear settled cold in my chest. “No…” I whispered. Nyx stirred weakly inside me. Pain. Not hers. Mine. But connected. Vesper looked horrified. “The mate bond,” she whispered.

Everything went still. I already knew. Before anyone explained it. Before anyone spoke again. I knew. Bane. My stomach twisted violently. Not from emotion this time. From realization. He was with Pia. Right now. And somehow… I was feeling it. Not pleasure. Not desire. Just the brutal backlash of a bond that had been broken wrong. Like my body still remembered him even after rejection. Tears burned my eyes immediately. Not because I wanted him. But because I hated this. Hated that he could hurt me without even being near me.

Aurelia looked furious now. “That absolute jerk” “Language,” Kane muttered automatically. “I will fight him.” “Better.” I curled slightly inward, trying to breathe through the pain. Nyx stayed weak and quiet inside me. Not gone. Just hurting too. Vesper moved closer carefully. “It’ll fade,” she said softly. “Eventually.” “Eventually?” I repeated weakly. “That’s not comforting.” Nobody answered that. Because there wasn’t a comforting answer.

Aurelia suddenly stood up. “Nope.” I blinked at her. “What?” “Nope,” she repeated firmly. “Absolutely not. We are not sitting here crying over Bane Alistair while he’s out there acting stupid.” Kane rubbed his face. “Aurelia…” “No, listen to me,” she said, pointing dramatically at me. “You need payback.” I stared at her. “…payback.” “Yes.” “That sounds illegal.” “It’s emotional revenge,” she corrected. “That somehow sounds worse.”

She sat beside me again, lowering her voice conspiratorially. “You should get another guy.” Vesper choked slightly. Kane looked exhausted instantly. “Aurelia” “I’m serious!” she insisted. “If Bane wants to act like an idiot, then fine. Livana should move on.” “With who exactly?” I asked dryly. Aurelia shrugged. “Someone hot.” “That narrows it down to nobody in this town.” That actually made Kane laugh a little. Aurelia pointed at me dramatically again. “See? Humor. She’s healing already.”

I groaned softly and leaned back carefully against the couch. The pain still lingered beneath my skin. But now it mixed with something else. Warmth. Not from the bond. From them. From knowing I wasn’t alone while everything inside me still felt broken. And honestly that was probably the only reason I didn’t completely fall apart that night.