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14

“Coward,” I spat for the third time that night as I gazed into the mirror. “Why can’t you just do this one thing you want the most? Fucking coward.”

I despised seeing myself in the mirror. I’m a fool. I clenched my fists, suppressing the urge to hit the mirror. But I had to walk away to protect my heart and my sanity. Even a hot shower didn’t help to calm my rattling nerves.

Boxer had snuck into Grandpapa’s room earlier, leaving me alone. Opening the cabinet, I took the pills, inspecting the bottle. Not that I needed it, but after what I went through, I wasn’t sure. The sex stamina pill was promising, but then our relationship would be built on a lie. Besides the bottle, the condoms I bought last week seemed to laugh at me. What was I thinking?

Self-doubt is the worst poison. With a sigh, I placed it where it belonged. Let her hate me or think I wasn’t worth it. But how could I talk ab

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