Royal Line and Resting

Melody’s POV

“I was wondering… What do you think of the idea of having a census amongst the rogues and the pack?” Teddy leaned against the bed and rested his head atop my hand, his soft curls brushing against my skin.

“I think that is a good idea.” I said after a moment, still gathering my thoughts from my short nap. I had a disturbing dream that had awakened me, the feeling of fire and the sound of screaming still vivid in my mind. Nix’s glade had been on fire, smoke billowing in the air as wolves ran this way and that. I could still smell the scorched earth as Nix shouted something at me, her voice drowned out by the baying of dying wolves. “… I think Nix did try to send me a message just now, but I’m not too sure.”

I gripped the necklace in my hand more tightly, the warm stone thrumming against my fingers. “Everything was on fire, and she was in distress… and to be honest, I think it has to do with the Rogue’s. The sooner we can at least tamper them down, the safer we can be.” I wiggled my fingers slightly under his head, getting him to purr in approval At the motion. “The only thing I could see wrong with any of this is if it puts a target on the Rogues backs.”

“We’ll come up with something. Right now, you need to rest, and I’ll go and call Alvin and Walter to discuss things more.” He kissed me again, making me sigh and lean back as he left the room again.

He’s always like this when he gets nervous. I wanted him to just stay with me and rest, needing his strength and support; but Teddy was wired after fighting, his need to protect overruling everything else. Goddess… Just keep him safe. I settled back against the bed and sighed, feeling the hot tears from earlier again.

I’m barren now… the three words hit me like a freight train, making me catch my sob so as not to wake up the baby. I opted instead to pull the pillow to my stomach and roll to my side, spooning the soft material and burying my head into it as I cried. No more little babies… this is my last one.

The more I cried, the deeper my sorrow grew. I’m half a woman now; basically useless. Part of being a Queen was establishing a royal line, and we weren’t even a full two years into things and I was already failing at that.

I’m a failure; A sham. I don’t even deserve Teddy. What does he even see in me anyway? I’m just a twenty seven year old girl who is playing dress up with grownups… Fuck; I’m just guessing at some of the shit I have to do, really. I sobbed at the thought of letting everyone down, all the work we had been putting in with our friends to eradicate the old order and the council.

I bet they are just doing it all to humor me, liking watching the little girl try her best. The only friend I really knew was Heather, but even then she started out as my employee first. Do I even have friends?

Every instance of failure I had ever had danced in my head, every little mistake that I couldn’t correct. I felt the pressure of a million lives weighing me down as I struggled to stay afloat. Maybe things would be better if I wasn’t-…

“Melody; I decided Alvin could wait… I Just need-“ Teddy walked through the door then, opening it quickly and pausing as he took in my state. “Oh, Goddess; my little baker…” he rushed over to me and crawled behind me on the hospital bed, pulling me into his warm embrace and brushing a hand into my hair as the other held me tightly.

“Shhhhh.. There, there; my love. Shhhh. Let it out. That’s my girl.” He rocked us back and forth, his warmth seeping into me and his voice like a balm to my ears. “I’ve got you. I’m never letting you go; ya know that? I’ve waited for so long to find you, and look at you; so strong and so brave.”

“B-but I’m failing.” I got out in small sobs. “We haven’t even begun to start and I’m already failing you.” I was hard for me to open my eyes, the tears burning and making my eyes puffy as I wiggled around and turned to him. “I-I’m scared we’ll fail… I’m scared that I’m the reason we’re going to fail.”

“Who said anything about failing?” Teddy wiped tears from my face with the blanket wrapped around me, his hand gentle and careful as he touched me in reverence. “I’ve never met a more capable woman than you. Look at you; a Queen of a newly established monarchy before thirty, a five star baker, mother to two healthy and beautiful babies. Melody; I’m so proud of you, and I know for a fact that your dad and mom are too.”

“Fuck; who else would have been able to speak to an actual God?! Axel would have offended them and been smited for his efforts. No; you, Melody, are a force of nature and a wonder to behold.” He kissed my forehead as he tucked me in closer to his body, my sons less and less as he continued to rock us. “And who said we’re done having kids? We can adopt, can’t we? I’m sure there’s fifteen or so little pups we can take in and raise, and then we’ll have our own little biker gang started all over again. Now, please; my beautiful bride, please just rest and stay snuggled here with me. I’m sorry I took off and left you, I’m here right where I need to be now. Rest and sleep, and I promise I’ll be right here when you wake.”