14. Lying To Myself

Cassian

Three bubbles appear on the screen as soon as I send the text, dancing for a few seconds as Jacob starts to type a response, and then they suddenly disappear.

I wait for a few more minutes for a response, hoping it’s because of a bad Wi-Fi connection on his end or mine, but there is nothing.

A cold sweat breaks out across the back of my neck. I tuck my phone deep into my pocket, look once at the closed bathroom door where the water is still running, and step out of the room without thinking.

My legs are moving before my brain can even formulate a rational excuse for what I’m doing.

I keep telling myself I’m only doing this because I want to destroy Rhett my way, but the panic I feel is telling a completely different story.

I am only lying to myself about what I truly want.

The hallway is freezing cold, and I am not even sure if Jacob us in my block or not.

There is no reason why Rhett should be going out again this night, so it can’t be tonight he has whatever gang play planned out. But still, I have to find him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.

When I walk toward the dorm entrance and move to another block, I spot him, luckily.

Thank fuck.

Jacob is standing near the entrance with two guys, smoking a cigarette. He looks high as fuck from the red in his eyes visible under the outside lights.

He whips his head around when he hears my footsteps, his eyes widening in surprise before a dark scowl takes over his face. “You?” he spits, stepping forward.

“Can we have a minute?” I ask him, my eyes trailing over to the two guys he’s with.

“They’re chill,” he tells me.

“I don’t care if they’re chill,” I reply haughtily. “I want to speak to you, and not them.”

“Okay then.” He pushes himself off the wall and we walk off toward a corner.

“You literally just texted me some bullshit about tracking messages. You said you weren’t in for it, so why the fuck are you here?”

“Because you’re an idiot who is admitting to a crime over a phone,” I say in a cold tone. “Your activity as a student is already under review, and now everyone is monitoring you for targeting Rhett. Do you think the university IT department won’t trace your IP address and your MAC address the second a digital investigation opens up? You’re leaving a trail right to your dorm, for fuck’s sake.”

Jacob scoffs and gives a bitter laugh. “Like I give a fuck about school policies right now.”

“Plus, that’s not the kind of lesson you need to teach Rhett,” I continue. “Putting a guy in the hospital with a gang of random thugs isn’t revenge, Jacob. It’s a felony. The best revenge is when you don’t face consequences for your revenge.”

Jacob pauses, his eyes narrowing to tiny slits as he studies my face. A look of realization crosses his face, followed quickly by deep disgust. “Wait a minute… this isn’t about me having a feeling or consequences or any of that bullshit… You’re protecting him, aren’t you? You came all the way out here to look for me because you’re scared he’ll get hurt. You said he’s been an asshole to you and that he hit you, but he’s still your fucking friend after all, isn’t he?”

Friend… I almost scoff at the word. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not protecting him… it’s just…”

“Whatever, man,” Jacob spits, cutting me off as he turns his back to me and pulls out his phone. “If you’re not in on this, then I’ll just do it myself. I don’t need your permission, and I don’t need your help.”

“God, why are you so dumb? The second Rhett gets jumped, everyone is going to know it was you. You’re the only one with a public motive. You’ll be expelled before the sun comes up.”

“I’ve already lost what’s important to me!” Jacob roars, turning back around. “My hockey career is done! My spot on the team is gone! If I can’t play, then that bastard isn’t playing either. I’m going to make sure he remembers my name every time he looks in the mirror.”

A genuine wave of panic hits me. Jacob is completely unhinged and definitely isn’t a chess piece I can just move around as I please. I should have studied the kind of person he was before bringing any of it up to him.

“Listen to me very carefully,” I say, my voice dropping into a deadly, quiet whisper that makes Jacob freeze. “I have absolutely no hand in whatever stupid, reckless shit you choose to do tomorrow night. If the administration comes knocking, I will deny you and will personally make sure you take the fall for everything. After all, I pretended not to know what you were talking about on the phone.”

Jacob glares at me, but I don’t give him a chance to interrupt.

I take another step forward. “And if anything physically damaging happens to Rhett… if a single one of your little street friends puts him in a condition where he can’t play hockey… trust me when I say I will end you, Jacob. I will make your life a living hell in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.”