It wasn't so long when I began to realize what my life would be without my bestfriend Toma. He was always the sociable guy while I was just someone who tagged along. I wasn't so friendly with the other guys he always used to hang out with other than me.
So whenever lunch time arrives, I always find myself sitting alone at the cafeteria. Then I often see Toma with his other friends with him, as well as his girlfriend Cami.
"Never knew it would be like this." I muttered to myself, sometimes wishing I never suggested to avoid one another.
"…hey."
I looked at the person by my side and saw Xia. "Oh it's you."
"Yeah, got a room to spare here?" She asked with a cheeky smile.
"There's plenty of room as you can see, so be my guest." I told her, with a bit of sarcastic tone.
"Hahaha, sure." She sat right next to me. Ugh, of all places, this girl is really annoying.
"I saw that you're alone here," She began to talk as she peels of the wrapper on her sandwich. "So I thought I had to join you for lunch."
"Tch, I don't need you pitying me. I'm used to this."
"Right, and I used to see you with Toma before. Like, most of the time until you pushed him away."
Her words hit hard, but it was none of her business so it pissed me off. "You've got nothing to do with my life, so stop prying okay?"
Then she looked at me with a face I can never understand. It was actually the first time I ever received that kind of look. "…I know that." She looks away and continued, "I knew you would say that."
"Then if you do, stop pestering me about Toma, okay? If you like him so much, you should go and talk to him. Not me." I told her.
Her silence lasted for a minute until she talked again.
"But I don't like Toma," she faced me again with a face slowly turning red. "because it's you that I like!"
…
"W-What?"
"Y-You… Yuji, you dummy!" She ran away with her food and left me.
I was dumbfounded by the sudden moment. To think Xia would confess to me… "What!?"
Xia liked me!? I couldn't believe it. My mind wasn't able to process what happened, and I couldn't even finish my lunch because I lost my appetite from thinking about it over and over.
That was actually the first time a girl ever confessed to me. As I got to the boy's restroom, I looked at myself on the mirror and observed my looks.
My heigh is pretty below average for a guy, and I don't even look manly like Toma nor those other hot guys… so how the hell Xia would like someone like me!?
Is it because of my personality?--nah, I know myself that I was always rude to her.
Is it because of my intelligence?--I'm not that smart though, so maybe that's not it.
Or… is it…
sfx: bump.
While I was looking at myself on the mirror, a guy bumped on to me. "Oh, excuse me." He said.
"It's alright." I said, still a bit dazed.
But instead of proceeding with his business, this guy still continued talking to me. "Hey, aren't you Yuji?"
"Y-Yes, and who you might be?"
He smiled, but it didn't felt so nice. "I'm Noru, a friend of Toma."
By the time the man finally left, mom even gave me loads of money so I could stay away from her. It was then I decided to cut ties with her. I was done dealing with her… "It was a mistake to stay here. I'm leaving." I never should've come back. "W-Wait!" Before mom could stop me, I quickly got to my room and brought all my stuff with me. "Toma, please! Please hear me out!" "…IT'S TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY! Don't even think that I'll ever forgive you." I told her while I was running down the stairs. She just kept pulling my stuff to make it more difficult to leave. "No, Toma! I can't—" "Don't stop me!" I glared at her, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again."
Nobody ever knows about it.I kept that very dark secret of mine all to myself. I can't even bother myself to tell my mom about what happened to me, I know she won't give a shit about it. And so, everything that I ever experienced from that man was written down on a journal. That was the only way I could vent all the stress and anger I had.While she was still on a relationship with that man, I would always hide from him so he won't be able to lay a finger on me. But there were times that he would sneak in my room just to make me suffer for his disgusting pleasure. He would often leave with a threat so I wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.I was really scared… no one was ever there for me. But instead of letting myself suffer even more, I try to make myself distracted when I'm out of the house.Y
We moved into a new neighborhood when I was at the age of eight. That's when I met Yuji, the guy who became my best friend… the guy who I came to like. And the one who I fell for.He became the person who I would run to whenever I'm at my worst. Yuji would always welcome me at his house, both his parents treating me like I was a part of their family. I really loved his company, it lets me feel all the things I lacked on my own family."Tomakawa, don't your parents worry if you spend the night here without telling them?" Auntie asked.I shook my head and gave my brightest smile. "They won't. Mommy said it's okay if it's at my best friend's house." It was a lie, and I was not guilty one bit. I don't really want to go home that night."Hmm, alright then."A
When I was about five years old, I can remember how my parents would argue all the time. It eventually led to physical violence, and sometimes I get hurt as well. It was really scary for a child to experience something like that from his own parents.If I remember well, the one who's most at fault for all the arguments was mom. Dad would always come home late and drunk, then mom will start to complain. They argue, fight, and mess up the house."Stop telling me what to do, woman!""I told you a million times already, haven't I?! Stop getting yourself drunk whenever you go home!""Shut up and lock yourself in a room. Seeing your face ruins my mood!""Why, you!… you should be the one locking yourself in a room! You're a wretched mess!"&nb
Since I was kicked out of school, the only place I can stay at was at my mother's house. It sickens me to go back there but I have no other choice. "Hm. And what do you think you're doing here?" Mom asked. Just when I arrived, I didn't expect to see her outside the house to water the plants. Usually, she fools with every man she brings home most of the time. "I'll be here for a few days, I'll leave as soon as I find another place to stay at." "Heh, I heard you were kicked out of school." "None of your business." I just ignored her comments and got inside the house. Seeing this place only reminded me of the past I always wished to forget. Every room, every corner… it was all too disturbing for me. After opening the lock on my room, it was just like how
That was it.Everything is over.I no longer have anything to do with him. When I got back from the hospital, I learned that Yuji's father had storm at my place and took all of Yuji's belonging. They said he'll transfer his son onto another school because of me, though he had never mentioned to the faculty the reasons. But rumors seem to have already spread because of Yuu."How disgusting! The school should expel him.""Is it really that guy?!""I heard he was sexually assaulting his roommate, that's why the father of the victim took away his son.""That fag is a scum!"Many people kept whispering behind my back as I walk on the hallways. I couldn't care less about what they s