Diminishing Emotions

There were so many things wrong with the ugly, awful and irritating sight of my very own boyfriend thrusting in his penis in a place I had never expected it to be in. Aside from the obvious one that they were having the time of their lives in a club bathroom where people come to not only pee and poo, but puke too. All the disgusting Ps; who the hell screams like that getting banged? No one does!

Sex is not that good that you have to cause a sonic boom by breaking the sound barriers with your high pitched howler monkey squeals.

The sight churned my stomach. I just couldn’t anymore.

“Zach! Autumn! How could you?”

My abrupt presence ended it all. It was over. Woah, sex of a lifetime.

    I was trembling, transfixed at the spot with a facial expression like one who had just seen a ghost. The stall reeked of sex and sweat. I stared at them. They started back. Zachary Kings, my boyfriend of two years and fiancé of a year had his penis in the shithole of my sister, Summer.

I had always hated my sister. Right from the very beginning. Her existence has been nothing but an utter, fucking pain in the ass. All my life, I’ve grown up having my every action, my every move and lifestyle being compared to hers and being nagged to death constantly by my parents and teachers about how she was so much better than me in everything.

My parents always saw her as the good twin while I was the black sheep of the family. She was their favorite, always had good grades, won contests and competitions, had a perfect life going for her, always winning everyone’s attention while I was a nobody, a wallflower always living under her shadow and was never taken seriously. I hated the fact that she was the better one and also the fact that she never seized an opportunity to rub it in my face.

But now, she had given me a whole new reason to despise her. Fucking whore.

     Zach’s face was hysterical. To be honest, I would’ve burst out in laughter at the sight if it was another girl’s fiancé cheating on her with her own blood sister. He was starting right back at me, frozen behind my naked twin.

Summer rolled her eyes at my sight, letting out a frustrated groan at my displeasuring presence.

“Well, we’re a bit busy now. You should leave.” She said to me without an iota of remorse or shame as if it was nothing special that I just caught her having a quickie with the love of my life in a club’s female bathroom. “Maybe if you come later, he would be in the mood to chat.”

   Her words aggravated me. For some reason, my hands clenched around the pocket knife resting gently in my pocket. I whirled around and darted away from the ugly sight trying so hard to hold in my tears. He didn’t deserve my tears and my mascara didn’t deserve to be ruined.

“Stormy! Stormy! Stormy, wait.” I heard Zach’s voice behind me as he trudged behind in a pursuit as he tried to pull up his pants nevertheless, his pleads didn’t slow me down.

But. . .

Zach said he loved me.

He said he’d never hurt me and we’d be together forever.

And yet, he did it with her. My own twin sister. That’s even more insulting because in literal sense, what does she have that I don’t?

 Oh God, this can’t be happening.

“Stormy-Rain, would you fucking wait?”

How dare he. He knew how much I hated that name. He knew I had constantly chided him on calling me by my full name hence, he stuck to calling me “babe”. So why did he call me that name now? Was he trying to purposely get me mad? What was his aim?

What kind of name is Stormy Rain? Why would my parents even name me that and have the audacity to give my sister such a nice name like Summer-Breeze? You see, the hatred started right from birth!

“Leave me the fuck alone you cheating bastard.”

I screamed full-throathedly . The tears had their way now, slowly trickling down my eyes despite my refutation.

“I said wait, Stormy.”

His voice was behind me already, he had caught up. He yanked my arm, dragging me backwards and making me face him. His pants were halfway up, and the image of his dangling member in that bathroom hallway has been forever burnt into my visual cortex. He was half naked, signs of another woman printed all over him. The pink lipstick smudged on different parts of his chest. God.

“Leave me alone!”

His grip on my arm was so tight, it hurt.

“No!” He refused, “Not until you listen to my explanation.”

“Fuck you and your fucking explanation, you fucking piece of shit!”

He ignored my outburst, going on to spew out whatever lie he must’ve conjured up in a bid to deceive me into overlooking the fact that I just caught him cheating on me with my sister. “Babe, what you saw, that thing with Summer- it’s not a big deal.”

It’s not a big deal?

What the heck does he mean?

If this isn’t a big deal, if I may ask, then what in Mount Everest was actually a big deal?

“I’m so sorry babe. You know I love you endlessly.” He stepped closer, cleaning the tears that welled up in my eyes, in the process smearing my mascara and eyeliner. His lips quirked into that badboy smile I loved so much. “You know I love you, only you. I was just having fun with her. I never meant to hurt you.”

At that moment, an emotion boiled up inside of me. No, it wasn’t anger anymore. It was the something more powerful, so swith and vehement. Love. Broken Love. Diminishing emotions like an outing dynamite, about to explode.

He pulled me into a hug. I couldn’t resist. I had no strength whatsoever for that. I just stood there, frozen, my eyes full of tears. And then there he was, apparently seeing absolutely nothing wrong in his actions and the sad part was that he expected me to feel the exact same way, key into his messed up belief that it was “just fun.”

Heck no, I won’t.

Sniffling, I wiped my tears.

My hands reached for my pocket knife, slowly unraveling the blade from my pocket.

My lips curved into a smirk as I clenched the knife tightly, “I love you too Zach. Till death do us part.”