LOGINTaking yet another glance at the clock on the kitchen wall, I drummed my fingers on the breakfast bar. This was torture. It'd be another twenty minutes before Drew came to collect me. Why had it only taken half an hour to get ready?
Of course, I knew why. Afraid I'd get held up at the shop at closing time, I'd set my alarm for stupid o'clock this morning so that I could spend an hour and a half in my tiny bathroom, bathing, shaving, trimming and plucking. Despite being absolutely certain nothing was going to happen, I still had this niggling feeling I should be, well... Prepared. Just in case. But nothing was going to happen. Although Drew and I had spoken by phone a couple of times since Sunday evening, neither one of us had alluded to doing anything other than drinking champagne and watching pay-per-view movies. Which suited me just fine. Besides, it was a good idea to pamper yourself once in a while, wasn't it? Especially on your birthday. So why the hell did I feel so nervous? I'd been alone with Drew countless times before, spent many a pleasant evening in his company. This would surely be no different, just a change of venue. "Oh, for God's sake..." I muttered, irritated by my own restlessness. And sliding off my stool, I strode purposefully into the living room, pausing to grimace at my reflection in the mirror above the fireplace. "Get a grip!" There wasn't anything to be nervous about. I even looked reasonably okay, I thought, offering up a thank you to the goddess of good hair days. My dark, shoulder-length waves were curling in the right direction for once, and that new mascara I'd bought had actually delivered on its promise to lengthen my lashes. And further bucking the trend, I'd managed to iron the collar on my favourite white shirt so that it fitted against my neck and wasn't trying to crawl off down my back like it usually did. No, so far as outward appearances went, not bad at all. The rest, well... The girl in the mirror grimaced back at me. For heaven's sake, Drew wasn't going to see the rest, so why worry? Everything was going to be fine. And for a moment, I was almost convinced—until the sound of a car pulling up outside made my heart skip a beat... Though that was nothing compared to what it did when I hurried to the window to discover it wasn't Drew. It was my parents, already climbing out of their Volvo estate, the street lamp illuminating the small gift-wrapped parcel in my mother's hand. "Oh shit!" I breathed, appalled by their spectacularly bad timing. When Mum had called me on Wednesday to say they'd returned home safely from their cruise, I'd decided to say nothing about the fact that I'd be staying in a hotel on the night of my birthday. Worse still, I hadn't said anything at all about going out with Drew. I'd meant to send Dad a text message saying I was meeting up with some friends in town so that he wouldn't feel the need to pop over. How could I have forgotten? Not much I could do about that now. But Drew wasn't due to arrive yet, not for another quarter of an hour. And already praying he'd be late, I hurried out to the hall. If he didn't turn up bang on time, there was still a chance Mum and Dad would be gone by the time he arrived. "Happy Birthday!" Mum said brightly the moment the door swung open, wearing that slightly odd half-smile I'd come to dread. I could still remember how she used to smile, her whole face crumpling with pleasure. It felt like light years ago now. "Ah." The smile, such as it was, faded abruptly as she took in my appearance. "You look... smart." That too seemed to be about as much of a compliment as she could pay me these days. "On your way out?" "Actually, yes," I said, feeling ridiculously guilty considering I wasn't lying. "I'm so sorry—I meant to let you know. And now you've come all the way over here..." By now, Dad had joined her on the doorstep, his smile rather warmer. "Doesn't matter," he said cheerfully. "We only came to bring your pressie. June—" He gave my mother a meaningful nudge. "Give her the present, then." "Oh." Looking flustered, she glanced down at the neatly-wrapped parcel she clutched against the lapel of her coat. "Happy birthday," she said again, holding it out to me. "It's just a little something we picked up in Barbados." "Thank you," I said automatically, at the same time wondering whether there was any way I could get out of opening the package in their presence. "You shouldn't have." You're our daughter," Mum snapped back at once, her tone so brittle I cringed. "Of course we should." I swallowed hard. Amazing—we'd arrived at a painfully awkward moment in record time. Maybe next year I should just cancel my birthday. "Do you want to come in a minute?" I mumbled helplessly. "It's chilly out here." In more ways than one. "Just for a moment, then," Dad said, his cheeriness noticeably forced now. "Don't want to hold you up." Defeated, I stepped to the side then followed them in, not bothering to check my watch again. It was a vain hope, anyway. Drew was never late.We didn't talk about Minah again.I thought perhaps our revenge was that we were together. That we were happy. That after everything, we found each other. Axel never brought up what he intended to do, and I never shared the half-baked plot I had, or the fact that I had a key to his old house.He moved in three days after he found me. He never did tell me how he managed to get my address. It didn't matter; I had things I didn't tell him. We each had our secrets.He told no one he had found me, least of all Minah, though we didn't actively hide that we were together. I supposed she would find out one day; we'd be out in public, maybe with our daughter, and someone would see us.It didn't matter. None of them mattered.Still, it was hard knowing that she didn't suffer. It burned, glowing coals somewhere deep in my soul, knowing what she did to him. What she did to me barely mattered; she could hurt me all she wanted and it would never compare to how I felt about her hurting Axel.That bi
I started scooping fried rice onto each of the plates. "The baby was for me. I didn't want her to get back at Minah or to trap you into being with me or anything like that. That's a terrible reason to have a baby. I wanted her for me."He stared at me, silent as I moved from fried rice to sweet-and-sour pork. I wasn't sure if he was trying to follow my skewed logic, trying to process any of the insanity I'd just tried to explain to him, or trying to tell me he wanted more pork and less rice."Her?""Yeah. It's a girl."He nodded brusquely, his throat muscles flexing as he swallowed. Silently, I put the rest of the food on our plates."Soy sauce?" I asked, holding up a handful of packets."Yes, please," he said softly.We carried our plates to the table and I dug in. Axel took a few small bites, staring at me as I practically inhaled the food."So, you divorced her," I finally said through a mouthful of chicken."Yeah.""Why didn't you tell anyone what she did?""I just wanted out. Sh
I went home and spent the night awake in front of my work laptop, idly clicking as I daydreamed and pondered and tried to think of what I could do to make that very angry, very unsatisfied part of my soul quiet down. I spent hours upon hours searching for information on Minah and Blaine, trying to find some kind of dirt on them, trying to figure out if I could get Minah's studio shut down or maybe get Blaine fired from the gym where he worked. I grew restless, frustrated, more and more irritated the longer I searched. I wasn't a hacker; I didn't have the kind of skills needed to break into their bank accounts or plant information or anything like that. I was a proof-reader, an English major, just one crazy person who was sickened by injustice.It was around two in the morning when I thought perhaps Minah was stupid enough to use the same password she'd been using since we were roommates. She wasn't, at least on her email, but it did make me wonder if she had thought of changing the lo
I thought about Axel a lot while driving back to my apartment. Well, more than usual. Those days, his presence was a constant, but I kept him firmly in the back of my mind. I built a greenhouse there, one with brick walls and encased in glass, raised off the floor of my consciousness, and that was where the weeds of my love for Axel stayed.That day, though, I opened the door, just a little bit, just enough to glimpse the dandelions, not enough for any puffs to sneak past, and I thought of him.I was disappointed. Not because they got divorced; I was elated, overjoyed, ecstatic that he got out, that he didn't go back, that he was free from the whirlpool that was Minah. I knew better than to hope that meant I, as Natasha had oh-so-eloquently put, had a shot with him. Axel already had one broken, crazy woman in his life. He didn't need me, too.No, I was disappointed that he let her off so easily. I was angry, actually. Minah had nearly destroyed him, had hit him and scratched him and m
Cecily? Cecily Larch? Is that you?"I stiffened at the familiar voice. Of course she would be here. Of course today, of all days, Natasha would walk into the same coffee shop as me, situated between me and the exit, trapping me with nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, no way to escape."Natasha," I said flatly. "Hi.""Oh my God," she squealed, and rushed forward. I braced myself, but she wrapped her arms around me gently. "It's been so long! What, six months?""Eight, I think.""Wow," she breathed, glancing down. "So..."I didn't say anything, staring at her as her words hung in the air, feeding off the discomfort that came from her expectation of my response."So," she said again. "You, um. You're looking good.""Thanks.""Oh, sit down, have a coffee with me, let's catch up!""Catch up?" I repeated. "The last time I heard from you, it was to tell me I was a horrible person for what happened with Minah, and that I should consider turning myself into a mental hospital before I ended up ac
He groaned, his hands tightened on my hips as he thrust up hard one, two, three, four more times and then he was spilling inside me, grunting, his head tilted back on the pillow and his eyes squeezed shut. I watched him with rapt attention, eagerly taking in every motion and every expression. I barely blinked the entire time, aware of the feel of his cum deep inside me, but ignoring it in favour of watching the way his mouth moved, the way his collarbone jutted out just slightly as he tensed, the way the corners of his eye crinkled and his brow creased.He was beautiful. So beautiful.When his eyes opened again, I blinked, acting as though I hadn't just been staring at him like he was the first sunset I'd ever seen. I smiled awkwardly and moved off him. I thought he'd want me to go, to let him be alone, to end that weird and strange and hot encounter and let him move on with his life.Before I could even swing my legs off the bed, he pulled me in close, pleading with me to lie down ne
Funny then, how the words 'it's not too late' kept whirling around my head.The next morning, sitting halfway up the stairs, I peered down through the gloom at my suitcase, parked neatly beside my overnight bag in the hallway. In the end, it had taken me less than half an hour to pack, just as I'd
I gazed at him for a moment, dimly aware of a flare of headlights at the end of the cul-de-sac, the familiar chug of a diesel engine. "What if I don't want to hear them?"Shock zinged down my spine. I'd actually spoken those words aloud?"Then I won't say anything." To his credit, my father almost
Sam!" Dad's tone was sharper now. "That's enough!""You're damned right, that's enough!" I fired at him, finding a new focus for my anger, so long suppressed, I'd had no idea how potent it was. "I've had enough, that's for sure. How could you let her put us through this, Dad? As if it wasn't bad en
Of course, by the time I got back to the shop, my adrenalin-fuelled euphoria had dissipated to guilt-ridden despair. Alice took one look at me as I stumbled through the door and was there in an instant, her arms around me. "No need to ask how that went," she said, before exclaiming, "Sam, you're so







