Someone's in the Wolf

Lya

I came to in a familiar place - exactly the opposite of what I hoped. We needed to be far, far away from here. Curled up in front of Trevor’s apartment door was not that. 

I heard footsteps down the hall, but I didn’t even have the mental fortitude to move. Maybe I could just be arrested and sentenced to death. That’d be one way to be rid of this parasite. 

'I’m not a parasite.' That damn voice.

'Go away,' I retorted. 

'No.' Great.

The footsteps got closer. I would sure be a sight - a naked little girl covered in blood just curled up on the floor. This would definitely get some attention. Why couldn’t I move?      

Trevor rounded the corner. He was the only person I wanted to see, and the last at the same time. I stared at his shoes as he came to stand in front of me. 

“Oh, Lya…” he sighed. I offered no response. He helped me stand up, unlocked the door, and guided me inside. I stumbled across the apartment to flop down at the kitchen table. I didn’t want to sit anywhere where the blood would be impossible to get out. 

Trevor sat down across from me and stared intently, probably taking in the absolutely horrific condition I was in. Why wasn’t he freaking out? I was sure he had so many questions, but I couldn’t think of a way to answer any of them. “Do you want to tell me now, or take a shower first?” he asked. 

“I… I think something is wrong with me,” I said quietly, refusing to look up at him. 

Trevor chuckled softly. Even in the most serious of times, he always found a way to try and lighten the mood. It was what garnered him the spot as my closest friend here. “That is just a matter of opinion.” He paused, and I finally met his gaze. “I do not think anything is wrong with you. But I do know you need help.” 

I let out a sigh. If only he knew what was really going on… 

“Why don’t you go take a shower, and then we can talk.” It was a welcome suggestion. 

I got up and wandered to the bathroom, leaning against the vanity while the shower heated up. Trevor was one of the kindest, most accepting people I had ever met. He deserved better than to be around someone like me. When my relationship started to fall apart for reasons I refused to divulge to him, he was there for me with absolutely no questions asked. Just a shoulder to cry on, and a couch to crash on.

Ted had asked once or twice in the weeks before if I was cheating on him, and Trevor was the main culprit he had in mind, but I tried my best to ease his worries regarding that. Trevor would never cross that line, and I had absolutely no interest in going anywhere close to it. Besides, even if Ted couldn’t believe it, it was really truly an “it’s not you, it’s me” situation. Probably the epitome of them. 

The hot water beat down on me, the blood washing away down the drain, but it did nothing to wash away the guilt and shame that was my life. The gashes on my arm stung as the water and soap ran over them.

This wasn’t anywhere close to the exit strategy I had planned.

'This is our life now.' 

'Not if I can help it,' I retorted. If you can say something through gritted teeth to the unwelcome resident voice in your head, that’s what I did. 

I hadn’t even noticed Trevor slip in and leave a pair of sweats and shirt to borrow. I suppose I could have told him I had stuff in my car, but I should probably leave those there for when I can inevitably escape again. Thinking about it, maybe the best way to get out was to actually tell him the truth. If he knew what I really was, he’d probably be excited to see me get away from him. And it’d be a guarantee that none of my friends came looking. 

Once dressed, I glared at myself in the mirror. My amber eyes stared back at me. I used to think they were a unique, exotic looking color. Now, though, I just resented them - they looked animalistic. Completely inhuman. 

But that was the truth. 

Time’s up, Lya. Gotta go ruin my life some more, I told myself. 

I left the bathroom, making my way over to Trevor’s living room. Sinking into his couch, I appreciated the creature comforts he splurged on. This would probably be the last time I’d get to sit on something as comfortable as this. I’d be on the run or in prison for the rest of my life. I gave it three days before there was a well check on Ted. People would notice he was missing from work, not showing up to the climbing gym, and not responding to any texts and calls. I wondered if anyone would bother to check on me. 

Trevor’s eyes hadn’t left me since I sat down. I really couldn’t make out what exactly his expression was. Worry? Fear? Curiosity? The silence was getting more tense by the moment, but I refused to break it. 

Trevor sighed and sat back, lacing his fingers behind his head. “So when did you first shift?” he asked.

My eyes bulged. That was far from the question I was expecting. He didn’t seem surprised. 

“Wh-what?” I choked out. 

'You don’t get to run forever.' I refused to engage. 

He leaned forward, honey colored eyes boring into me. “We know, Lya. And all we want to do is help.” Trevor smirked. “Come on now, an anomaly like yours? You had to have known you weren’t the only one. So when did you first shift?”

“Fifteen.” I pulled my knees up to my chest, feeling much more vulnerable than I did when I thought I was just having to justify a murder. 

He nodded. “That’s normal. So why didn’t your parents help you out with it? At least one of them has to be full blooded for you to have gotten it.”

I shook my head. “My mom found out.”

“Found out? So was it from your dad? She still should have known if it was from his side. Are you adopted?”

I shook my head again, my eyes not leaving the floor. “She was scared, so I tried to get rid of it…” He motioned for me to continue, so I just held out my arms. Scars from years of cutting myself with a silver blade to shut that thing out covered them. “Suicide attempts didn’t work, but silver blades would make it go away for a while.”

He leaned his head down, eyes scrunched closed, and ran his hands through his sandy hair. I looked past him at the suggestion of dawn streaming through the window.

“Lya, there’s nothing wrong with you.” Trevor looked back up, this time it was clearly sorrow in his eyes. “You should have been told, educated. That is a failure of all of our kind. You’re a werewolf, Lya. Not a monster.”