Chapter 4

     Silence was the order of the day as they settled to have their dinner. Thick, unbreaking silence. Serena had stopped crying a while ago and she looked calm and collected. Gerald on the other hand couldn't say that about himself. He couldn't shake off the previous guilt he felt, no matter how hard he tried. He glanced at her as she ate, noticing she barely ate anything, just picking on her food. Beyond her calm exterior, he could see how tense she was. She definitely didn't like being around him.

      " I'm sorry…" he mumbled, half wishing she didn't hear what he said. He glanced at her and she was staring at him, her eyes slightly widened. She caught herself in time, rapidly shaking her head.

       " It's okay. I shouldn't have bothered you." 

       " No it's not. How can you say it's okay? I should not have have treated you like that." He continued, still angry at himself.

       " It's really okay. But since you apologized, then I'll take it." She muttered, letting a small smile. Gerald let out a breath, feeling absolutely relieved. The atmosphere was much lighter as they continued with their food. It was then he noticed the difference in taste.

  

       " Did you make this?" He asked and she blushed, nodding slightly. 

   

       " Not really. But I helped." She replied, tucking her hair behind her ears.

        " It's delicious." He muttered. 

        Serena warmed at the complement. Feeling all fluttery inside, she muttered her thanks. 

       Right before his eyes, she went all sad and dreary to bright and beautiful. The glow that was ever present in her eyes had returned and he felt good knowing he was the one who brought it back. Try as he might, he couldn't understand why he was so uncomfortable around her, especially when he knew she did nothing wrong. It's almost as he felt he didn't deserve her.

      They soon finished eating and the maids came to clear up all their plates. Taking a sip of his wine, be watched as she stared at everything but him.

   

      " You want to tell me what you've been up to? " He asked, and she glanced at him, confused. He raised a brow, gesturing to her and she stuttered, scratching her hair.

      " Well... Um, nothing. Really. I've just been attending classes and spent a great deal of time at the garden."

      

      " Garden? I thought you were weeding?"

   

       " Well, I was. But I also planted new plants. You know the garden could use a lot more flowers, it just looked so plain and..." She continued talking, absorbed in her tale. Gerald was watching her speak but he didn't really hear what she was saying. He was more interested in how her eyes lit up and the color on her cheeks as she talked passionately about her topic. All of a sudden, he realized he liked hearing her talk. Her voice was so soothing. He realized she was still and gave her his full attention.

      " So yeah... That's what I did." She finished, staring at him expectantly. He took in a deep breath, wondering on how he would reply her.

      " And you weren't bored?" He asked after a while.

      " Well... It did get really quiet and it's not something I'm used to."

       

         He nodded, unsure of what to say.

    

         Serena stared at him, wondering what's going on in that mind of his. This was the first time he had ever had a conversation with her and she didn't know what to make of it. He'd known a bit about her and she wanted to know something about him, anything. But she wasn't sure if he had the courage to.

       " Gerald?" She called out and he glanced at her. Taking in a deep breath, she continued. " Why were you angry earlier?" She asked, her voice hardly above a whisper.

         " Nothing you need to worry about." He replied but she knew it was much more than that. Clenching her fists, she stared at him. " If it's related to me..." She began, her heart heavy. " I'm sorry. I don't want you to fight with your mother. She just wants the best for you." 

  

      If not for the sincerity in her eyes, Gerald could've sworn she was just lying. That didn't she care about him, that she was only concerned about being a duchess. All of a sudden he was confused.

     " Why did you agree to the marriage?" He asked suddenly. It was unexpected, but he needed to know. " Why? Was it because of the power?" 

        " No." She replied, shaking her head. 

         " Because of the money?" 

          She shook her head again. " Why are you asking this?" 

         " Because I don't understand why a lady like you would want to live with someone like me. This world is so complicated and all is not as it seems. So why did you agree to it? I'm sure you had a choice to refuse."

          " You're right. I did have choice to refuse. But at that time, I didn't think it was a bad idea."

   

        " And now?"

    

        She took in a deep breath, then stared at him square in the face. " I still don't think it is." She said firmly. " This is hard for me too, Gerald." She said and he scoffed.

       " Of course it is." He muttered. Her reply did nothing to rid the uneasiness he felt. Frustrated than before, he stood up and left the room.

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     The shower Gerald had did help and he was feeling slightly better. Patting himself dry, he wore his nightclothes and proceeded to her himself a bottle of liquor. He stepped out as he didn't want to disturb the maids and bumped into Serena. She was also retired for the night and hair was let down.

      " I'm sorry..." She muttered and tried to move past him but he pulled her back. They slept in separate rooms as he didn't want to have anything to do with her when they married but right now, he was beginning to second guess that decision. She looked absolutely breathtaking.

     " Not asleep yet?" He asked and she shook her head, her dark curls bouncing. Gerald swallowed, his body reacting massively to the inncoent act. His mom's replayed in his head. ' Get to know her, she's not that bad.' It wouldn't hurt to try would it. 

     He stepped closer, and she looked away. He just hates it when she does that. Why can't she ever meet his gaze!? Tilting her face up, he stared at her. He half-expected to see fear in her eyes but what he saw got him off guard. It was desire. A muscle ticked in his  jaw. Leaning in, he could literally her heart racing. She licked her lips unconsciously and he almost lost the fight. No, not tonight. He couldn't bare another rejection.

      It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if she was scared of him. But somehow he didn't. 

     " I should be going now..." Serena whispered, throwing him out of trance. He didn't want to let her go, he wanted to pull her closer to himself and kiss her senseless, take her into his room and do unimaginable things to her. All through the night, all through the next morning.

      Serena was in a turmoil. She didn't know what was going on his head. Why is he staring at her like that, more importantly why is he staring at her lips like that? Does he want to kiss her? She gulped, she couldn't answer that. All she knew was she wanted this man. So bad it was beginning to ache. If only she could get past that night... That pain.

      " Go to bed." He finally said, brushing her hair off her face. " You'll get a cold."

    

      " O-of course." Serena stuttered, moving backwards. " Goodnight Gerald." She whispered before walking past him, hurrying towards her room. Closing the door behind her, she sagged against it. Nothing happened, she hoped something did. Her insides were stil liquid. She wasn't sure she would be getting any sleep tonight.

      Laying on her bed, she let out a breath. No matter what happens, she's not giving up on Gerald.

      Gerald stood outside his door long after Serena has disappeared into her room. Ruffling his hair, he let out a groan. What's wrong with him? Why does he have this thoughts only when he's with her? He stared at his hands, confused as hell. He didn't know what to do with the emotions that he had and they were beginning to scare him. He has never felt so out of control. 

       Staring at her door, he took in a deep breath, closing his eyes. He needs to find a way to get her away from him before things get out of hands. He just had to.

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       It was the next day and Serena was having breakfast alone. When she woke up that morning, Gerald was nowhere to be found. She had been especially hurt about his disappearance sine she felt they were making progress. Or she thought they were making progress. She couldn't sleep until the wee hours of the morning as her mind kept replaying the incident back to her. 

     She groaned, gripping her spoon tightly. Last night has been confusing. She spent all night thinking about it and still couldn't make anything out. The sounds of approaching footsteps distracted her from her train of thought and she looked up to see Gerald in front of her. But he wasn't smiling. If anything, the dark circles around his eyes indicated her hadn't slept at all. Serena felt chills run down her spine. Something about Gerald didn't feel right. 

    Her gaze dropped to his hands and she discovered he was holding some papers.

    " What's that?" She asked and he placed it in front of her, going ahead to sit. She glanced at him, confused.

     " Go on, read it. You can read can't you?" He asked and she nodded. Serena heart was pounding as she picked them up but she opened it anyway. Her eyes were scanning the words but her brain didn't understand anything. What the hell were this things saying?!

     " I'll be divorcing you." He finally announced. Serena froze, her heart skipping a beat. Surely, she didn't hear right. There's no way Gerald said that. She looked at him to confirm her thoughts but the look on his face broke her. Tears welled up in her eyes.

       " What!?"