INICIAR SESIÓNMarianna
There are three universally acknowledged facts about my dynamic with Duane Richter that perfectly illustrate the canyon-sized gap between us.
Fact one: he’s richer than God, which means his place is undoubtedly a sprawling architectural masterpiece that could swallow my entire apartment whole.
Fact two: I spent the better part of my adolescence harboring a suffocating, secret crush on him, filling countless diaries with his name—all of which I’ve since burned to ash. The closest thing to a compliment he’s ever given me was a secondhand remark he allegedly made to Marco in the third grade: Your sister looks cute today.
Fact three: I am currently a soaking wet, tragic disaster of a human being, while he looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ.
In every conceivable dimension of time and space, I am profoundly outmatched. Going to his apartment wouldn't just be a losing battle; it would be a total, humiliating surrender.
So, naturally, my only viable option is to scream.
"No! I am not going to your place!" I press myself against the passenger door, putting as much distance between us as the leather bucket seat allows. "I'll figure it out! Just pull over. Drop me at a hotel, any hotel."
He doesn't even blink. He smoothly shifts gears, his forearm flexing under the dark fabric of his sleeve, casually invading the center console space between us. "With what money?" His voice is infuriatingly calm. Reasonable. "You don't have your wallet. It was in your luggage, wasn't it?"
"How do you—"
"Your brother mentioned you keep everything in your suitcase when you travel. Says you lose things." A pause. He cuts his eyes toward me, the streetlights illuminating the sharp cut of his jaw. "Apparently, you lose entire suitcases."
My face is on fire. Absolutely burning. "I don't lose things. Things get misplaced. There's a difference."
"Mm." That sound again. The non-word. He leans slightly closer as he checks his passenger-side mirror, bringing that intoxicating, dark woody cologne straight into my airspace. My breath hitches. "So you're saying your wallet is currently misplaced somewhere in the American airline system?"
I hate him. Genuinely, viscerally hate him.
"I have my credit card," I lie, crossing my arms over my chest to hide the visible lace of my bra.
"In your phone case?" His gaze drops to my chest for a fraction of a second—too fast to call it staring, but slow enough that I feel it everywhere.
"...Maybe."
"The phone that's dead." He reaches out and taps the black screen of the phone clutched in my white-knuckled grip. His fingertips brush against mine. A shock of static electricity zips straight up my arm.
Fuck.
"Look," I try one more time, hearing the edge of desperation in my voice and hating it. "I don't want to impose. I'll just—"
"No."
Just: no. Not "I'd rather not" or "I don't think that's a good idea." Just a flat refusal, delivered in that same infuriatingly calm voice.
"You don't get to just decide—"
His hand shoots out and grabs my wrist. Not hard. Not bruising. But his palm is hot against my damp skin, his long fingers wrapping entirely around my wrist bone, firm enough to shut me up mid-sentence. He pulls my hand away from my chest, resting my arm on the center console, pinning me in place with nothing but his grip.
"Listen carefully," he says, eyes back on the road, voice still that same level calm that's somehow more unsettling than if he'd yelled. "Your brother asked me to look after you if you showed up. You've showed up. Therefore, I'm looking after you. This is not a negotiation. This is not a discussion. You're coming to my apartment, you're going to shower and change into something that doesn't make you look like a wet t-shirt contestant—" his thumb strokes once, slowly, over my racing pulse, before his eyes flick down to my lap, "—and tomorrow we'll figure out your luggage situation and get you a new phone."
He releases my wrist. Places his hand back on the steering wheel like nothing happened.
Like he didn't just completely derail my brain with that casual touch. My skin burns where his fingers were.
"The underwear doesn't match, by the way," he adds, almost as an afterthought, his voice dropping half an octave. "Black bra, white panties. You should work on your coordination skills."
I make a sound. Not a word. Not even language. Just a strangled noise of pure mortification, my knees pressing tight together.
He saw. He saw.
We drive in silence after that. But it's a different kind of silence now. Heavier. Charged with something I don't want to name and definitely don't want to think about.
Because the truth is—the truth I've spent nine years trying to bury—I don't hate Duane Richter.
I wish I did. Would be so much easier if I did.
Hate would be simple.
The rain hammers against the windshield. The city lights blur into streaks of gold and red and white.
Which probably makes me a masochist. Or just monumentally stupid.
"For the record," I say quietly, staring out the window at the city rushing past, "I really do appreciate this. Even if you're being an asshole about it."
I think I see the corner of his mouth twitch.
"Get used to it," he says. "You're staying with me until your brother gets back."
I'm so fucked.
Terrible, terrible idea.
Marianna, I think. Try not to burn down your entire life in the first 24 hours.
Marianna POVDuane: Actually fine. McCartney checked it post-race. Eighty-six. The Parabolica exit was a six.I file the six. Add a note about the Parabolica exit load for the Suzuka call.Me: Get some sleep.Duane: You too.Then, after a pause that's longer than usual:Duane: You were right. About what you said last night. About deciding.I read this three times.Me: So were you. About okay being enough.No response for a few minutes. Then:Duane: Goodnight, Marianna.Me: Goodnight.Monday. The paddock dismantles itself with the efficiency of an operation that has done this seventy-odd times a year for decades. Trucks. Crates. The organized reverse of everything that took days to build.I'm packing the Kinetic kit when Oliver appears in the doorway with two espressos and the expression of someone who has been waiting for a reasonable hour to have a conversation and has decided this is it."Sit," I tell him. "The client chair."He sits. Hands me one of the espressos. "How are you?""B
Marianna POVI sit on Table 3 in the empty treatment room and let that land for a while.Sunday. Race day.The shoulder tape goes on at six fifty AM, seventeen minutes earlier than Thursday because Duane's pre-race focus sharpens the schedule—he arrives earlier, moves through preparation faster, the entire system of him calibrating toward the start lights. McCartney does the primary work; I assist with the AC anchor strip, which requires a specific angle that's easier with two sets of hands.We work in the efficient silence we've developed. McCartney assesses, I apply, Duane sits on the table and occasionally reports a sensation with the accuracy that has been consistent since Zandvoort. Eighty-seven percent today—he offers it unprompted when he comes in, before McCartney asks, which she notes in the file with what I've come to recognize as her version of being pleased."The 130R equivalent here is Parabolica," I tell him, while McCartney does the neck work. "Sustained lateral load in
Marianna POVHe arrives at the Kinetic space, still in team kit, hair slightly damp from the post-qualifying shower. He closes the door behind him and reads the room in approximately two seconds—me sitting on the edge of Table 3, hands in my lap, the specific quality of someone who has been waiting and has used the waiting time to organize her thoughts rather than spiral through them.He sits in the chair across from me. Oliver's sprawling chair. Alina's chair, from this afternoon."Tell me," he says.So I do.I keep it clean, the way McCartney delivers information. Alina's visit. What Luca has been saying. The word that's been circulating through paddock conversations. The probable chain of transmission from his apartment hallway to Alina's careless dinner conversation to Luca's deliberate distribution of something that was never his to touch.He listens without interrupting. His face does the controlled thing, the mask settling into place, but underneath it something is happening—I
Marianna POVThe thing about Alina Lindqvist is that she's very good at waiting.I don't fully understand this until Friday morning, when she doesn't do anything. She's just—present. In the paddock, which she has credentials for because she's been a Veloce brand ambassador for two years, a fact I learn from Oliver's comprehensive source network at approximately 9 AM.In the hospitality unit, talking to team partners with the easy fluency of someone who has been navigating these spaces since before I knew what a paddock was. Near the garage during FP1, standing with a group of sponsors in a way that puts her in Duane's sightline every time he comes off the pit wall.Not doing anything. Just being there.It's actually impressive. As a strategy, I mean. Clinically speaking.I treat Luca at eight, Oliver at ten, spend the lunch hour writing up the Suzuka preparation notes for Patrick's Wednesday call. McCartney finds me at two with an update on Duane's shoulder—AC joint down to minimal in
Marianna POVThe trattoria is exactly what Oliver described and also completely beyond what Oliver described, because Oliver's descriptions are enthusiastic but his sensory vocabulary is primarily sports-based, so the owner has been making it for forty years doesn't quite capture the specific atmosphere of a room with six tables and a ceiling that has absorbed forty years of good cooking, a woman in her sixties who assesses us when we walk in with the calm authority of someone whose cacio e pepe doesn't need our approval, and candles that are the working kind rather than the decorative kind.We're given a table in the back. The kind of table that a restaurant like this gives people it has decided to accommodate—tucked away, good light, slightly separate from the room's main current of activity.Duane orders in Italian, which I was not prepared for. Not tourist Italian, not the careful pronunciation of someone working through a phrase from their phone—actual Italian, easy and unaccente
Marianna POVMonza in September is everything Zandvoort is not.Where Zandvoort is compact and coastal and smells like the sea, Monza sprawls through a royal park north of Milan with the unhurried confidence of a circuit that has been here since 1922 and has no particular interest in impressing you. The trees are enormous. The tarmac is old in a way you can feel through your shoes. The main straight is so long that watching cars accelerate down it feels less like motorsport and more like witnessing something that should probably be illegal on principle.The espresso is extraordinary. Italy is doing this on purpose.My hotel is a twenty-minute bus ride from the circuit, in a part of Monza that is regular-city rather than race-weekend-city—a pharmacy, a bakery, a woman who yells something at a cat from a third-floor window every morning at seven, a specific kind of narrow street that seems designed to fit exactly one Fiat Punto and the memory of a Fiat Punto. My room has a window that l







