Chapter Twenty

Allen

“What happened?”

“Cancer. She’d been sick but we didn’t know why. Got the confirmation right before I was supposed to re-enlist for another tour. I left the Army to take care of her.”

Brielle squeezes my hand but says nothing, her green eyes still watching me carefully.

“She made me promise that I would move on, find love again, and I did promise. It was the only thing she asked of me. But once she left me, I refused to honor that promise. I thought that it would be… disloyal,” I explain, “and so for the last decade I’ve focused on work, and nothing else.”

I quiet for a moment, steeling my nerves, then continue.

“Until I heard your voice, Brielle. And yeah, like you said in the car – it was like waking up again after a long, cold, dark, half-assed existence. After we talked that night, I went to your website and saw your picture, and it took my breath away. I was amazed at how much you resemble Mary.”

I glance up from looking at her hand in mine to meet her gaze. Brielle’s eyes are huge and round in her face, but full of understanding.

“Seeing me brought back bad memories,” she murmurs quietly.

“Both good and bad,” I confess, then swallow hard and press on. “And it scared the hell out of me – enough that I almost called you back to cancel our appointment. Because I have loved before, and she was ripped away from me. I was determined to keep my distance from you so that I did not have to face any of that. But now here we are, and I feel… God, I feel again… but it scares me to take that chance. Losing you would already gut me, Brielle, and that’s just with us being brand new.”

I stand, never letting go of her hand, and step around the table to drop to my knees by her chair.

“So, imagine the stakes if we get involved before I can catch this guy,” I tell her softly. “That’s the real reason why I’ve been hesitant about whatever this is between us. Does that explain it?”

A single tear trickles down her right cheek, and I reach out to wipe it away tenderly.

“Believe me when I say I want you - and not just sex, Brielle. If we do this, I am all in, one hundred percent, and I want the whole thing.”

She raises her hand to caress my face.

“Not a single moment of time is guaranteed to us, Allen,” she whispers. “And I don’t want to spend one more second without you.”

She slides out of her chair to meet me on the floor on her knees.

“So, let’s stop fighting,” she continues as she looks into my eyes. “Stop fighting this.”

I gently pull the hand I am still holding toward me until her face is close enough to mine to kiss her.

The initial jolt of connection I felt the very first time I touched her to shake her hand that long-ago afternoon was surprising.

Last night in her kitchen, when I pinned her against the counter and kissed her, it was even stronger, making every cell of my body come alive.

Even reaching across the table just now to hold her hand caused a sizzling spark.

But all those times pale in comparison to the overwhelming surge racing through me when her lips meet mine as we kneel together on my tiny cabin’s hardwood floor.

I know my life is about to irrevocably change.

All in, no going back.

I welcome it.

I walk to the edge of that cliff and step out on faith, believing, knowing that Brielle will catch me.

Brielle

Still on my knees, I shuffle even closer to him so I can wrap both arms around him as he plunders my mouth, one strong hand at the back of my head and the other gripping me at the waist.

I feel Allen’s heart pounding hard in his chest, echoing my own racing pulse, and I know that with this man is where I belong.

He wrenches his mouth away from mine, surprising me as he fists his hand into my ponytail and gently pulls down, tilting my head back so he can trace soft kisses down my neck, then around to my ear. His warm breath on my skin makes me shudder with anticipation.

“Bed,” he murmurs against my earlobe right before he takes it between his teeth and nibbles.

I moan and nod, rendered speechless.

Almost before I am aware of what is happening, Allen lifts me off the floor and into his arms, and I wrap my legs around his waist as he pivots and carries me down the short hallway.

He sets me down gently on the side of the bed and kisses me again, this time slowly, sweetly, before he takes a step back.

“Brielle,” he pants. “It’s been a really, really long time – years - since I’ve… I don’t even have anything with me to…I mean…”

I take a deep breath and bare my soul to him, the way he did for me earlier.

“It’s been years for me too. But we don’t need to worry about protection, Allen. I…. I can’t have kids,” I confess, hanging my head as I finally let go of my last dark secret that not even Mari is aware of. “That was another result of the attack. Hysterectomy.”

“I’m so sorry,” Allen says, leaning down to cup my face in his hands and rest his forehead against mine. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

I close my hands around his wrists.

“It happened, and nothing can change it. But I can keep it from defining who I am,” I tell him gently. “I just wanted you to know what you’re getting into with me. Children are not possible.”

“I want you, Brielle, just as you are,” he responds, and kisses me again before asking, “You still want to do this?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” I tell him, and he laughs.

“What’s so funny?”

“Remember the day we met at your office, and you asked if I was ready to go?”

“Vaguely. Why?”

“Because just seeing you standing there got me so worked up that when you asked me that, the first thing that popped into my mind to say was ‘like you wouldn’t believe’.”

“That explains the growl I got, then,” I tease him.

“Yeah. I was trying not to jump you right there in your lobby.”

Another toe-curling kiss later, he stops and looks down at me with a twinkle in those stunning blue-grey eyes that I could lose myself in.

“That means there’s only one problem left to solve,” Allen says with a devious grin.

“What?”

“We both have on way too many clothes right now.”

“Hmm,” I purr as I take down my ponytail then lean back on my elbows and stick out my chest, “I bet we can find a solution to that pretty quickly.”

I watch the twinkle explode into a raging fire as he reaches for his own t-shirt and pulls it off over his head.

Yes! Knew it. Washboard abs.

I sit up again and take off my own shirt, throwing it aside, then lean forward to unzip his jeans, but he takes my hands and closes the distance between us until I am lying flat on my back on the bed.

“Do me a favor and leave these here for a minute,” Allen whispers in my ear as he gently lifts my arms so that they are resting above my head. “I got this.”

His strong hands caress the sides of my face before traveling down my neck, then moving to my breasts, and I inhale sharply, lost in his touch. Next comes the gentle tug on the waistband of my yoga pants, and I lift my hips so that he can slide them down more easily.

Moments later my bra and underwear have joined my shirt and pants on the floor, and I watch, transfixed, as this perfect male specimen disrobes the rest of the way before he stretches out beside me.

“You’re a goddess, Brielle,” Allen murmurs, his voice deepening, as he gazes at my body. “Perfection. I want to nibble on every inch of you.”

I feel my cheeks growing hot with his praise, then gasp and close my eyes as he leans his head down far enough to touch his lips to my left breast. As I begin to moan with pleasure, I can feel him shifting his weight, and I know that he is leaving my side to hover over me.

He teases me, first the left breast, then the right, with tender kisses and little nibbles before I feel his hot breath traveling down across my stomach. He marks his path with kisses, and each one only serves to fan the flames in me.

There is a brief but promise-filled pause as he moves down so that his shoulders are between my knees, and then he is tasting me, driving me higher and higher with every movement of his tongue. I cry out, clutching at first the bedsheets, then his hair, as Allen relentlessly explores me.

Just as I am about to crest, he withdraws, and I open my eyes to find him above me. I see the silent question in his eyes, and I cradle his face in my hands and answer.

“Make me yours,” I whisper, and he rests his forehead against mine as he slowly slides himself home.

Allen

The moment we are joined together, there is an outpouring of raw energy that passes between and through us. I go still for a moment, and Brielle shudders as I slide my arms under her to hold her close to me.

“You feel that too?” I whisper.

“Yes,” Brielle gasps, running her hands down my back then gripping my hips to pull me as far into her as she can.

She moans, and I start to move, slowly at first, our eyes locked, watching each other as she meets my every thrust.

And when Brielle plants her feet on the bed, lifts her hips, and whispers, “take me there,” I oblige, moving faster, harder, a guttural sound leaving my throat of its own accord. Time itself ceases to exist, the world fades away, and all I can see, hear, taste, smell, and feel is her in this moment.

She tenses under me, then cries out my name repeatedly as she explodes, her hips bucking against me, and I lower my head to her shoulder as I groan and follow her over the edge into oblivion.