I look at him.
"I don't know where to start Marcus, but I guess the place to start is to tell you, sorry means nothing. You have said it so many times these past few weeks it has lost its meaning. You say sorry and you do it again. Okay, I accept a lot of it is down to what she has done, and that you were not in the right frame of mind."
"It hurt, seeing you with her on the sofa, then you defending her again, ignoring how I felt. And then seeing you and her in that room killed me, I felt like everything, all of it was planned. Like you knew she was with you that night on the sofa and that is why you defended her." He goes to speak, then realises and stops.
"But none of that hurt as much as you accusing me, the fact you thought I would be so sick to do that, to set you up to sleep with Lucy, that hurt more than everything. If that was me, I would never think you had sent them, I would think, who else would do this? You didn't, you saw my name, and you immediat
Everyone looks at us. "Are you two okay now?" I look at MJ, he needs to know the truth, I will get Jackson to make Marcus see sense. Walking in we sit down, neither of us looking at each other. "Something is causing this, my outbursts, so I have had blood tests done at the doctor, we are going to tell Luna and Alex I have a brain tumour, nothing serious, and that pills will help. So, then Luna isn't scared of me and thinking I am something I am not." MJ nods listening. "Me and your dad are splitting up, as much as I love him, I cannot stay with him after the last few days, the accusations and him not believing me, and I certainly don't want Luna to see us argue like that again. We will act fine around the kids until after Luna's exams, but we are no longer together." MJ looks between us, clearly shocked. "Anaya, can I speak to you?" I look at Jackson, nodding I follow him through. Sitting I watch as MJ talks to Marcus. "I figured me pulling yo
I keep waking, and every time I do I see Marcus staring at the ceiling, he hasn't slept right for ages now. How were we all blind and unable to see what was happening? I fall back to sleep. Waking up Marcus's arm is still around me. "I'm awake, didn't exactly sleep much last night again." Nodding I roll over and face him, my lips pressing against his. Moaning I pull him closer as his arm wraps around me. "Kitty not yet, we have no idea how I will be during sex if I lose myself." I look at him. "I hate this Master. The fact that she has not just made us fall out, made you hurt me, but she is stopping you from touching me. She is laughing, I know she is. That she was the last one to have that with you and not me." I hate the fact she was the last one who pleasured him, she knows it and is winning. "What do you want Kitty? I am trying to keep you safe." I know he is. "I want you Marcus, I hate that right now we can't touch each other. That the la
The room falls quiet. "Right, well you two are watching the kids. Me and Anaya are going out." I look at Analise confused. "Where?" We had no plans. "Shopping, Lingerie shopping." Marcus laughs, as I shake my head. "Not a chance, we got banned last time remember." She is crazy. "Oh, shush little pup, you will love it, you know you will." Nodding I laugh. "Yeah, a love, hate, kinda thing, where are we getting banned from today?" She smiles looking at Marcus. "If we're really naughty, we're getting banned from your own business. I mean, surely if I make you scream enough, they will throw us out, owner or not?" Is she crazy? I look at Marcus, his face full of humour. "I doubt you will get kicked or banned Analise, they know she owns the place, or part owns. If you do though, I guess me and Demitri will do that deal we lost tonight." Analise smiles even more. "Why would you do that? Don't give her permission." I lau
Getting sorted I walk down, Demitri and Analise looking at me worried."What happened? He ran out of here almost in tears Puddin." I stand unsure what to say, nothing bad happened, he didn't hurt me, not exactly."I don't know, he told me he wanted to wait until he was sure he was fully in control. He wanted to try, I should have said no, he was only doing it for me." I sit down, Analise looking at me."What happened?" She rubs my arm, my head shaking."I forgot, I pushed him into being free, but it was different like whatever was in his system was masking everything, I said the safe word and he didn't stop, I literally screamed it at him and his name after and that time he stopped. He didn't hurt me, not exactly." My head hurts but it is nothing."That explains it, I wouldn't be expecting him to come home tonight Puddin, the safe word has always been the cut-off, for his mind to not register it the first time until you screamed it has him scared." I don't want him hiding away from me
The week passes by slowly as we wait for results, but slowly we see Marcus again, the real Marcus when Lucy isn't around, when she is, he acts on edge, agitated and angry. It seems to be working, with Alex and Luna out me and Marcus argue just for Lucy's sake, and I can see it hurts Marcus to shout at me. "Right Kitty, Joel should be here in about two hours, kids are at Jacksons out of the way, hopefully, today is the end of it all." Nodding I smile, it has been a week, a week of him not touching me other than a hug. Standing I finish washing the plates, Marcus stood behind me. "Well, no kids Master, and you're back to your usual self." He nods smiling at me, but I can see it on his face, the decline coming yet again. "Before you say no Master, please? Just try?" I step forward, my arms wrapping around him. "It isn't that I don't want to Kitty, there is nothing I want more. But the thought of not hearing you again, and possibly going further or hurtin
"Well, what a nice way for me to find out Marcus, what the hell is going on?" I didn't know, he hasn't even mentioned it to me."The time I had that issue a few months ago Kitty, I went for tests." I didn't know that."Anyway, one I requested was that I am getting old and kids right now would be hard. I was going to tell you, but me and Jackson weren't talking, then we were and well we had the wedding and all the issues.""So, the results Master?" He hasn't told me still."Everything is fine, but there is no chance of me having kids Kitty, by the looks of it for about 10 years I had a reduced chance of having kids, every year that chance dropped and well now I can't.""Why wouldn't you just tell me?" He should have told me, not hide it from me."Come on Kitty, this was like when you started menopause a few years after Alex was born. You didn't tell me because you felt, what were your words? Not a real woman anymore?" Nodding I agree, I did feel like that, so no doubt him finding that
"So, you went along with it?" I nod to him."I did, because it stopped the questions, the ones who knew, like Demitri's family asked questions and I hated it. They asked to see her pictures, everything, and I hated it. I wanted her to myself. At the funeral I was a mess, Demitri didn't come near me, he was a mess and stood with his parents. He didn't say anything, just stayed quiet. I knew she had left him and that was why, yet I still feel he was relieved, me losing the baby was not just Shaun's way out. Something tells me Demitri felt like he had to stay, with me being pregnant, because as soon as I wasn't, he was gone. Then he disappeared, that was when things got worse.""You ran and hid?" I laugh shaking my head."No, I stayed in the hometown, I started drinking, a lot. I would wake up and drink, I would fall asleep drinking. My dad would beg me to stop, but the drink after about a week had no effect, not on my thoughts, so I looked for something else. I found something else, and
"What have I missed? Is MJ okay?" He looks around him as I nod. "It is Teddy." He looks around towards Teddy's bed. "Where is he?" Jackson looks at him confused. "I was texting you, have you not read them? Did Alena not tell you?" Jackson looks at him. "No, my phone is here, I didn't pick it up and Alena's died. Where is Teddy?" "Marcus he is dead, we had to take him to the vet, he wasn't breathing right." Marcus stares at Jackson, his arm wrapping around me. "God Kitty I am sorry, I should have been here." I shake my head at him. "It is fine, Jackson was there to help. I wanted to wait for you to come Marcus, but you didn't reply and I didn't want him at home in pain all night." I couldn't do that. "Right, well I guess we should tell the kids Kitty." Marcus looks at me as I nod. "You two go sit in the room, I will get Katy to drop them off." Nodding we walk through, sitting down Marcus sits with me, and Jackson sits on the chair. I watch as Marcus goes to pick up things of E