12 - FOURTEEN YEARS WAS TOO LONG TO HIDE

By the time the doctor came back to see us, the sky outside the hospital window had gone from black to that ugly grey that meant morning was close. 

I was still in the same chair with my neck hurting. My legs had gone numb twice that night and I hadn’t noticed either until I tried to move which made me nearly knock my knee against the bed. 

Ethan was gone, and that was the part I kept thinking about that night. I wasn’t thinking of the blood on Serena’s shirt, or the stitches that were above her eyebrow, or even the kiss that still felt impossible whenever I remembered we’d kissed.

Ethan now knows I had loved her for years, and now I had to live with the fact that I’d finally said it out loud. 

A nurse later came in carrying a small tray as she checked Serena’s pulse. She then glanced at the chart hanging at the end of the bed. Serena stirred when the blood pressure cuff tightened around her arm, her face pinching for a second before she opened her eyes.

“You’re still here,” Serena murmured as I rubbed my tired eyes. “Apparently,” I replied.

Her mouth barely lifted as she lifted and looked toward the door. “Ethan?”

“He left a while ago,” I replied; the smile disappeared from her face. 

I watched Serena’s fingers curl against the blanket. “What happened before he left?”

I could have lied to her or said something else. Instead, I leaned forward toward her. “He asked how long I have loved you.”

Serena closed her eyes. It wasn’t dramatic, but slowly, just like the words had weight on her. “And?”

“I told him everything.”

Her eyes opened again, and for a few seconds, she didn’t move. “How long did you tell him?”

“Since I was young. He knew everything about how I knew enough to tell you I was going to marry you as young as when I was twelve,” I disclosed to Serena. A tired smile came out of her.

The nurse returned before either of us could say something else and explained that Serena had to stay for observation a little longer because of the concussion. The nurse added that she needed rest, and someone had to be with her for the first day, and absolutely no driving until she was medically cleared.

There was this annoyance that took over her face, and I almost smiled. Even as she was injured, Serena hated being told what she couldn’t do.

The doctor came shortly after eight in the morning. He checked her pupils, asked her for the date, where she was, what had happened, and whether things that were wrong with her, like the headache, had worsened. 

Serena had answered everything correctly to the doctor even though she winced when she shifted upright.

The doctor finally disclosed to us that she could go home. Not Velvet, but home. The doctor also warned that for the meantime, no driving, no heavy work, no being up late at night. The doctor further asserted that someone needed to stay with her for at least a day, and if the headache got worse, she would have to come straight back.

Serena stared at me, and I already knew what she was thinking. “No,” I said to her. 

Her eyebrow lifted. “You’re not arguing with the doctor.”

I laughed before I could stop myself, and for the first time since the fight outside Velvet, Serena looked almost normal. 

By nine, Ethan had returned with Serena’s clothes and a paper bag of toiletries. He stopped the moment he saw me going to Serena to sit up. 

His gaze moved to my hand around her elbow, and then moved back to Serena, as neither of us spoke. Ethan sat the bag down. “You ready?” He asked Serena, and she immediately nodded.

The ride was quiet, with Ethan taking the drive. I sat at the back of Ethan's SUV beside Serena, watching the city slide past the window while she rested her head against the seat. Every few minutes, I literally caught Ethan looking at us through the mirror.

He was not looking angry, but also not comfortable either. When we got to a red light, he finally spoke. “You’ve loved her for a whole fourteen years?”

My stomach tightened as Serena’s gaze met mine, while I looked at Ethan through the mirror. “I told you the truth.”

“You were literally still a child,” he muttered.

“I know,” I said as Ethan rubbed his thumb against the steering wheel of the car.

“And why did you never tell me?” He asked with his eyes meeting mine in the mirror again. 

“I was scared of what was going to happen. You would have most likely told me she was your best friend.” 

Ethan went quiet because that was exactly what he would have said as Serena soon shifted beside me. “Ethan.”

“No,” his voice remained calm. “I need to hear this from her,” he added.

I pressed my forehead lightly against the cool vehicle glass. “I left for university because I thought the distance would have somehow fixed me,” I muttered as Serena’s hand moved closer to mine. “I thought if I stayed away for long enough, I would come back, and you’d feel like Serena again instead of…” I took a pause.

“Instead of what?” Ethan asked as I looked at Serena. 

“Instead of the person I couldn’t stop loving.”

Nobody said anything after that for the rest of the drive.

When we arrived at Serena’s house, Ethan carried her bag inside even when she complained that she could do it herself.

He knew where everything was, including which cupboard held her medication, the drawer that had spare batteries, and the chair she always slept in when she had headaches. 

Watching my brother move to her house made something twisty inside me, and this was the part of Serena I had never been allowed to compete with.

Serena caught me watching as she reached for my hand and I gave it to her, while Ethan’s gaze also met it. 

His jaw tightened as he was taking a walk towards the kitchen, and he stopped at the kitchen doorway, looking back at us.

“Actually,” Ethan said, “there’s something you really don’t know about my best friend.”

The smile on Serena’s face faded as Ethan stared at me; my fingers tightened around hers more. 

Ethan walked back into the room, and the words from Ethan made me wonder what else my brother knew about the woman I had spent fourteen years trying not to love.