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Please Take Care of Malcolm.

Soon, the cake was ready and just as the two women walked into the dining with it, Bryan came jumping in with joy. Lauren had never seen him so happy about something before.

  “Let me guess, you won.” Joyce said giving him a high-five.

  “That little guy’s one hell of a chess player.” Theo commented, walking in.

Lauren grabbed a table knife, “And so, we will grace our victor with the honor of being the first to eat the cake.”

Bryan clapped and quickly grabbed the saucer containing a pyramid of chocolate cake. He sliced a handful and put it into his mouth, before closing his eyes to savor the taste.

  “How’s it?” Joyce asked.

He opened his puppy eyes, “Grandma’s chocolate cakes are the best! Can I take some home, please?”

  “Of course, you can.” Replied Joyce who was grinning like a school boy at her grandson’s praise. La

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Mary R. Sturch
I love the story line, but the grammar seriously needs work. Also, it is really confusing how it changes perspective without notice. Definitely read it, but be ready to have to reread some parts to figure out who’s perspective it is.
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