“Who’s at the fucking door?” I shout out as I leave my bedroom. They’d better have a good excuse for continually ringing the doorbell like that.
“I’m not deaf!” I shout as I start to walk down the stairs. I’ve a killer hangover from the rodeo last night. I don’t even feel like getting up today, especially with the sweet pussy that I had after the rodeo. These cowgirls get a kick out of riding not only the horses but guys too.
“Again!”
I’m getting even more agitated at the idea that they keep ringing the bell. They’re not saying anything—just ringing the damn thing.
I walk glumly toward the door as the person gets the hint and stops ringing the bell. Obviously, it’s no one from the ranch. They typically just walk in the house and shout my name. It can’t be Harper who comes to clean the house every other day. No, it must be someone I don’t know. Maybe I should have pretended not to be in just so that they’ll go away and stop ringing the damn bell as if their life depends on it.
As I open the door, I see something on the doorstep. I wonder if I woke up drunk because I must be fucking hallucinating.
I spot Carl sloughing by, so I point at it with my eyes half-open. Shit, I can't even focus properly, because the sun’s shining hard. I shout out, “Dude!”
I wish I would stop talking like that, but that’s what happens when you spend too much time in sunny California.
“Who left this?”
He lifts up his shoulders in a half-shrug, as if it’s too much effort for him to do a proper one. Why does he always look as if he’s been trekking around America for the last few months? The guy always looks tired. No matter the time of day or how many hours he’s slept, the guy looks the same. If he weren't such a good hand on the ranch, I would get rid of him. Not only because of his tired looks but because he’s just clueless. He’s a hard worker, but everything has to be spelled out for him. Thinking out of the box isn’t an option.
“But, you must have seen someone come by and just…”
I can’t even get the words out. I keep looking at my feet, and I’m trying to pretend that it isn’t there. That this isn’t happening to me.
My life’s simple here. Get a few cowgirls that want to live on a big ranch, tease them and please them, and then when it’s all done, I tell them that I can’t commit. I can’t. Not now, not ever. I tried a relationship once, but after my ex, Jessica, spat in my face about the idea, I promised myself never again would I ask a girl to move in. She told me that I love playing and never take anything serious. If that was the case, I never would have asked her to move in with me.
“Oh, welcome to the land of the living,” Aria sings as she comes closer to the house. I want to go inside and close the door. This never happened. No one left a basket outside my fucking door with a baby in it. The baby’s crying. Shit!
“Holy cow, Noah. I thought that she was leaving a basket of fruit or something.”
I grab hold of Aria’s arm as she comes closer, thinking that maybe if I catch up with the person, I can give it back.
“Who?”
She bends down and sighs, “Isn’t he the cutest?”
She’s joking. Sure, it’s cute or that’s what people always say about their babies. I steer well clear of them, which is why someone must have made a mistake when they dropped this one here. But, why would someone just come and drop a baby at my doorstep?
“Are you going to tell me who, or are you going to keep me guessing all day?”
My head’s throbbing, and the last thing I need at this time of the morning is to play guessing games with Aria. She’s bitchy because she thought that I was coming on to her and that I was into her. No, I was fucking horny. Dad always said don’t mix business with pleasure. I did, and now I have to pay the price. She works with the horses, and I should have known better than to try and get it on with one of the staff.
“Some girl. She was holding the basket and pressing the bell like crazy. I thought that she was an idiot like me.”
Aria’s looking me directly in the eye, trying to figure out if there will be some reaction from me. There’s none because I told her once and I’m not doing it again. It was one night. I was horny, wanted to get my leg over, and she thought that I wanted a relationship. I made it clear that I didn’t. So, if she’s still upset about it, she could leave. There’s plenty of ranches around here. This isn’t the only one. Besides, she’s good at her job, and I pay her more than any ranch would pay her—which is probably why she sticks around.
“Look, there’s a note.”
I grab it quickly and read it out loud. I don’t need her to wind me up even further. There’s a baby outside my house. She lifts the basket saying, “You can’t leave him here all day.”
“Sure, his mom will come back for him. Maybe she left a number on this note.” I realize that I’m fucking talking to myself, as Aria’s already in the house with someone else’s baby. I turn around and she’s making those funny sounds, the noises that people tend to make whenever they see a baby. It’s as if they’ve lost their mind.
Dear Noah,
I know that we met that one night when you were in Vegas eleven months ago.
I can’t cope with the baby. His name is Richard, after my granddad. I need you to look after him for a while.
I hope that you become friends.
Please don’t try and contact me.
I had nowhere else to go. I need Richard to be safe, and he’s your son.
Candy
Holy shit!
The one-night stand… My hands are trembling and my heart’s beating out of control as flashbacks of that night enter my head. Dan, my best friend from high school, was getting married. I was best man, and I booked the whole damn bachelor party—the hotel, car, and flights. I remember having a one-night stand, and I was pretty wasted that weekend.
But, I used a condom. I’m like 99% sure that I used one, just so that I didn’t get in trouble. Like I seem to have done now. Besides, Vegas is fucking notorious for one-night stands. I scratch my head as I now realize her name.
Candy!
That’s it. I kept teasing her asking if she’s ‘as sweet as candy,’ and I meant from the waist down. She can’t just come here and drop a baby on me. What was she doing during those eleven months? Why didn’t she try and get in contact then?
I avoid going to the living room where Aria’s still making the noises with the baby. I get my phone from my back pocket and call Dan. Shit, we’ve got to go back to Vegas. We need to find Candy. I shut the door and start making the call.
“Dan.”
“Hey, man, surprised you’re up. You were pretty wasted last night.”
Fuck the small talk.
“Who’s that?”
Right then, little Richard starts crying again as I pace in the hallway to avoid going directly into the living room.
“That’s exactly what I’m calling you about.”
He starts laughing. “You’re a daddy.”
“Look, it’s not funny. Some chick just left a note and said that I’m the daddy.”
“Shit, I thought they only did that type of shit in movies.”
I’ll say, but for the first time, this is happening to me in real life. I think that maybe he’s right. I was pretty wasted last night, so this could be a bad dream. It must be as I look up and see Aria in front of me trying to soothe Richard. I only have nightmares with her in them.
But, I’m not fucking delusional. There is a baby in front of me. My dreams are vivid, but not so fucking real that I’m walking around with this killer of a hangover. Whatever Aria’s doing to Richard, it’s not working.
Her phone rings and she starts walking toward me. “You take him. Maybe he wants his daddy.”
Again, Dan starts laughing. “Shit, you are a daddy. Don’t go anywhere. I’m coming over, and I’m bringing the boys. They’ll love to see this.”
Any other time, I would join in and have a laugh too, but when it comes at my expense it’s not fucking funny. I’m balancing my phone in one hand and Richard in the other. That’s when I notice something.
Aria laughs as she comes back into the room. “See, he did want his daddy. Good luck, Noah. I’ve got to get a job.”
Then she leaves. What the fuck is she talking about? She works here on the ranch. What job?
I attempt to put little Richard back into his basket. Every time I do, he starts crying. I still need a DNA test. The fact that Richard’s winding me up kind of proves that he’s mine, but it’s not enough to convince me. I can’t do this. Not all day. I’ve got a hangover to get rid of, horses that I need to tend to. My day’s filled with chores, and none of them involve looking after a baby.
I’m in the car with my driver, wondering what the studio wants at this time of the morning. It's seven thirty. I should still be in bed—especially on a Friday morning. There's an emergency meeting and the car came to pick me up. Even Mom’s nervous about it as she keeps holding my hand and stroking it. “I’m sure that everything’s going to be all right.”I wish I shared her enthusiasm. Apart from the fact that I haven't written a new song in three months and my contract’s due for renewal in the fall, there’s a lot to worry about. “I mean, they could just want to talk about the contract renewal.”“Right, Mom. So, that’s why they sent a car to the apartment at seven thirty in the morning.”“Kylie, why do you have to be so negative all the time?”Because staying with her for the last couple of weeks had led me to be more irritable than when I was back home. I should just go home because I'm far from relaxed these days. She insisted that staying with her would help bring my mojo back, but
“What’s that?”“Seriously, Dan, don’t ask me stupid questions!”He came over five minutes ago, and since then he’s been taking photos and laughing at me, and so have Chad and Martin. It’s as if he got the whole Storm Rocks posse with him. “No, I meant on your shirt. What’s that?” Since they came, I can’t even put Richard down. Every time I attempt to do it, he screams at the top of his lungs. Even Aria came back for a while and said that she would help Richard. Not me. She wouldn’t want him having a salad for breakfast. She thinks that I’m stupid. Richard’s a baby, so of course, he drinks nothing but milk. Anyway, I was glad to get out of there, when lo and behold, as soon as I handed Richard to her, he started crying again. I think that he must be my baby. He seems to know exactly how to wind me up, and now, I’ve got spit-up on me to prove it. “Ugh!” I put him down. I don’t care if he cries again—which he starts to do the moment I put him down. “Daddy, I could do with some milk
As soon as we get home, Mom doesn't stop talking. She sounds like a mosquito buzzing in my ear. Just like when we went to Egypt and the damn things would be buzzing in my ears. No matter how many times I swiped them out of the way, they would just get closer to my eardrum. “The thing is, you’re going to need to stay at the ranch. This thing is going to make you regret the rest of your life.”I’m twenty-four. I have so many years ahead of me. Being dropped by my agent, label, and even my makeup artist is not the end of the world.“Could you believe Tracey? I mean, to complain? She's not even that good, and she wants to get rid of me,” I say in my defense. She holds on to both of my shoulders as if she’s trying to wake me up from a nightmare. “You did hear what they were saying, didn’t you, dear?”I wish that she would stop calling me that. It must be the most condescending name ever, one that she never used until I came to stay at her house two weeks ago.“Yes, Mother.”“I wish you
Kylie’s just parked the car, and I’ve got Richard inside. I didn’t want to scare her from the moment I saw her. If I came out holding Richard, she might just get back in her car and drive home. I haven't seen her in the flesh in what feels like forever. She’s changed, really filled out. We haven’t spoken since that night. I’ve seen her on screen, and I’ve kept an eye on her social media, but that's been quiet for weeks. The only time we do talk on the phone is so that she can make sure that I'm not going to be somewhere. ‘Mom’s party. You going?’I don't want to trick her, so I always tell her that if she can’t make it, then I’ll go, and if she can, then I don't go. That’s the way it’s been for the last three years since Stephanie got married to my dad’s best friend, Terrance. I thought that she may change her mind about the situation. And for once just want to be in the same place with me at the same time.She looks sad in a way, not the singing sensation in bright lights. Even her
I feel like such a fool. I got my hopes up high. I thought that he wanted us to get together again. Or something? Looking after a baby never featured into the equation. I took the long drive here, and it made me think that he’ll think twice about what happened that night. Sure, it was three years ago, and I'm sure that he's moved on. But, a girl can only hope, right?I look horrible. I sigh as I look in the mirror in the bedroom. I've never thought that way about myself. Don't get me wrong, I don't think of myself as being the most beautiful girl in the world. My almond-shaped blue eyes and my long fair hair used to be the talk of the town. I’ve got full lips, and some used to call me angelic in the reviews. If they saw me now, they’d be calling me the complete opposite. I’m nothing like the girl he’s used to seeing, and part of me wanted to change before I drove down here. Mom was messing with my head, so I just threw as many things as I could in the suitcases and left. I wanted to
I came home and Kylie was fast asleep in the chair where I’d spent last night sleeping when I was checking in on Richard. I should have woken her up and told her that I was home, but there was something calming about watching her sit there. She looked at peace, not sad like when she first came to the house, and all I could think about was, why did she come if she didn't want to be here? I was tempted to call Terrance and ask him, but then I remembered that I only call him if I'm desperate—which isn't often. * * *I get home wanting to take a nap. I was exhausted this morning when I got up at five. Later on, I have to go back to the ranch, so I head to the kitchen and grab something quick to eat. Kylie’s already made bottles, and it even looks as if she's taken him out in the sling, the one that I’d planned on telling her about. I wonder where else she's been in the house. She seems to have made herself at home in one day. I didn't see her or hear them in the house, so they must stil
I’ve been here two days and I haven’t seen Noah. It’s like he does this disappearing act on me. One minute he’s here and the next he's gone. I only know he comes home because I get up in the middle of the night and hear him snoring like a pig. Damn! When did he get to be such a deep sleeper?I know that today I’m not going to let him pull the wool over my eyes. No way!I think that I’ve lost a few pounds already. I’ve been timing Richard’s naps, and I hate to admit it, but Mom was right. Noah doesn’t store any junk food, and there’s no Starbucks or McDonald’s within easy reach. I don’t have a car seat, so I’m forced to take Richard out in the stroller. He loves being in that thing more than the sling. I think it’s because he has the freedom to look around. He’s a curious little thing, that’s for sure, and it’s as if Noah can read my mind because he shows up midday.“Hey,” he says once again as he sees me. I realize that all the time I’ve been here, we haven’t even had a conversation.
After feeding Richard, I decide to head to the kitchen and whip us up a meal. Everyone says that I’m obsessed with my diet. That’s not true. It’s just that working on a ranch is hard going, so I try not to keep crap in the house. I don’t even buy beer. I must be the only guy in Texas who never buys beers. Drinking is for going out, and I find that there’s nothing lonelier than drinking alone, so I try and avoid it. “What you cooking?” Kylie asks as she sits on the kitchen bench. “Couscous, chicken, and some beans.”“Looks good.” I can tell that she’s not happy about it. “Only healthy produce here, baby.”“Yeah, I know it’s just what I need. Even my skin’s clearing up since I’ve been here.”“That’s good, right?”She shrugs. “I suppose.”Shit, I remember her being the most confident girl in the world—the one that would walk into a room and just light it up. I wonder what changed her? What made her give up? “I work on the ranch all day, and I need this to help fuel me up, or I’ll jus