AFTER
Lily
My mother's sister—Aunt Alami travelled from Jos in Plateau State to grieve with us. She called Mum and announced over the phone that she has arrived Calabar.
Mum asked Dad to drive her to the bus station to pick Aunt Alami because she has not been behind the wheel in a week, everytime she tries to drive her hands would tremble. She won't be able to move the car out of the driveway.
I dashed into the back seat of Dad's car with Krystal in my arms before Dad could start the engine because I wanted to be as far away from our grieving relatives— who had came to stay—as possible. Surprisingly, my parents did not object me going with them.
It has been seven days since Luc died by drowning in the Atlantic ocean and three days after we buried her. My parents decided to bury her as quickly as they could because they did not want to have a formal burial for her. It would be too p
BEFORELucMum's yelling bounced off the walls and travelled down the corridor into the kitchen. Dad's voice was low and soothing, it reminded me of times when he would try to get Krystal to stop crying.I imagined Mum in the distinct blouse and wrapper she wore every third Sunday of the month. It was the only time she would wear a heavy mask of makeup and flaunt her lastest handbag. She enjoyed showing off at the meetings she attended.Personally, I found the meetings boring and pointless. Why gather every month to gist and eat? When Mum it was Mum's turn to host the meeting, Lily and I would be servers and cleaners, cleaning up after middle aged women. Mum's defense of their meetings is a speech narrating how the association feeds orphans. I argued that you could feed orphans without the fancy attire and monthly gathering.My eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. I wa
BEFORELucAs I applied rogue blush to the peaks of Lily's cheeks, I realised that I was jealous of my baby sister. Maybe it was the way her hair was pulled up in a messy bun so soft tendrils of ringlets touch her cheeks and stick to her lipgloss or the way her doe eyes were heavily lined (she copies my style at every chance she gets). Maybe it was because Joseph commented on how beautiful and delicate she was on our first date while we were waiting for our moin-moin."Why do you call her puppet?" He asked, poking the moist food with his fork. I watched the stainless steel prongs sink into the moin-moin. He took me to a trendy restaurant at Highway, the place was lit by chandeliers and the tables were set with embroidered napkins and various sizes of cutlery."It's just a pet name," I told him with a smirk. I imagined that Joseph would date my sister behind my back. Would Lily do that to me? The th
BEFORELilyJacob called me at 6.00am. I wasn't fully awake, floating between consciousness and unconsciousness. He sounded warm on the phone, like we had known each other for ages rather than met about two months ago. I knew I sounded groggy, if he noticed, he didn't say a word. "I want to see you today." The words drifted into my ear through the speakers of my phone. I had to consider each word and ascribe meaning to them. He didn't say good morning like normal people did first thing in the morning. It unsettled me. "Huh?" My breath made me wrinkle my nose. I was glad he couldn't smell it. "It's been two weeks," he said with somber laced in his words like it was two decades. "Will you have time today?" "My parents are home today. They don't let me go out," I
AFTERLilyLuc throws her head backand the amber liquid flowsdown her throat butthe glass bottleis still full."Drink!"she holds out the bottle to me.I shake my head while lookinginto her blackbottomlesseyes.She forces my mouth openwith her long, sharp talons.Her talons are ripping mymouth open.I feel no pain.Red drips from the mouthto my white dress.She pours the liquid down my throat.It burns down my throat,through my stomach.When I wake up, my tanktop is damp with sweat. My heart is beating so loud, it echoes into my ears. I stagger to the window and open it, the pale moonlight baths my room. Leaning by the window, I take in the mysterious night sounds and an image of Luc flashes behind my eyes.
BEFORELilyIt was surreal seeing her lying on the floor. Unmoving. I wanted to think she was just drunk and passed out but I knew that wasn't the case.I knew it from the way her body was sprawled. She was too still, her neck was at an awkward angle, a medicine bottle laid inches away from her outstretched hand.The words died in my throat. Luc? Luc? It's time for breakfast.Taking steps to her took forever. Partly because I was in shock, my legs couldn't move, I was shivering and shaking all over. My heart was beating frantically. My brain processed the image of her still body and the dark bottle.Then I screamed.Someone barreled through the hallway, their feet slapping against the floor. I held my tummy, trying to suppress the raise of acid creeping up my throat.Dad dashed in, almost running through me like I was a ghost.
BEFORE.LucMy gut clenched. One, two, three, four, five . . . And unclenched.I waited for it to clench again, watching it in the mirror. It mocked me and stayed still.Ever since I got discharged from the hospital, I have been having sharp pains in different parts of my body. Yesterday, I could hardly move without my kneecaps shrieking in agony. Today it's my gut. Tomorrow it would be my head and then my eyes after that. Sometimes, I would wake up dizzy and disoriented, seeing flashing lights and hearing screams. The screams were mine. I was dying in my dreams.It was my body, taking revenge on me. I was being punished for trying to kill it, for betraying it.Food didn't stay in my stomach and urine won't stay for a second longer. The white capsules I'm forced to take after meals stay in my throat and no amount of water I drink can flush it down. My ha
AFTERLilyAs I walk back home from school on a humid Friday evening, I think about stripping my clothes and leaving them on the floor, trudging into the shower and spending a lifetime under the cold waterfall, wearing pyjamas that are two sizes bigger than me and sitting down to a dinner of pap and soft slices of bread. Seeing Precious on the concrete steps shatter my plans."Hey," I choked out.The last time I saw her, she was out with my dead sister's boyfriend and I was furious at her. Now, I just want her out of my sight but I can't tell her that."Lily." She makes no move to come closer or shift so I can get to the door. She watches me with her dark eyes narrowed. I feel oddly self-conscious, I tug on my red hair, waiting for her to comment. When it becomes clear that she is not going to say anything, I open my mouth and let the words tumble out."What
BEFORELilyAs I zipped the silk mini-dress up my belly and over my lace-clad breasts, I imagined Jacob coming to the house and meeting my parents. Him, dressed in a button shirt and holding a rose. My parents, delighted to meet him.Dad would shake his hands and quiz him strictly. Warn him to bring him back home before midnight. Mum would smile, waving at us, tell us to have a good time as Jacob zooms down the street in the yellow Mercedes.I opened my eyes, chided myself for imagining the impossible. My parents would not encourage me to bring a boy home, it's a taboo. That would mean encouraging me to fornicate and have illegitimate babies (their words, not mine). Any boy Luc and I date would be secret and paraded to our parents as a casual, nothing-more friend until we are ready to get married.Krystal slinked into my bedroom, watching me with orb-eyes and open mouth.