Chapter one: Failed Mission

ALINA

I sat across from my father and I could almost cut through the tension with a knife. He hadn’t said a word yet, but I knew. I could see it in his eyes—the same cold, calculating look he always gave me when he was about to demand something.

“It’s time, Alina,” he said, his voice cold, with no room for argument. “The pack needs you to be useful.”

Useful? The word felt like a slap. After six rejections, that’s all I was to him now—something to be used, a tool for the pack’s benefit. I tried not to let how hurt I was show but I wasn’t sure I was doing a good job.

“What do you mean, dad?” I asked, even though the answer was clear.

His eyes didn’t soften. They never did. “You’ll be traveling to the Silver Moon Pack. There’s an alpha there, unmated, and it’s time you made yourself useful to this family. We need that alliance. It’s your duty. You owe it to us.”

My heart sank. Of course. An alpha. Another attempt to marry me off, to secure power through a mate who might actually want me. Six rejections, and now this. I had prepared myself for something like this, but it didn’t make the sting any less painful.

“Why me? Send one of my sisters. You've always said they’re better and prettier than me, so why…”

Before he could respond, my mother’s voice cut through the air like a blade.

“Because your sisters are already useful to the pack,” she snapped, stepping forward. I hadn’t even noticed her standing by the door, watching, waiting for her moment to speak. “They’ve been accepted by their fated mates—fine, respected Alphas with impressive reputations, no less. They’ve done their part. You’re the only one who hasn’t.”

My sisters. Always perfect. Always cherished. I was the one left behind, the one no one wanted.

“Send them, mom. Please,” I tried again, though my voice was weaker now. “They’re stronger than me. They’re better suited for this—”

I didn’t see her hand coming. The slap rang out across the room, and my cheek burned from the sting. I pressed my palm to my face, biting back the tears that threatened to spill. I wouldn’t cry. Not in front of them.

“You think this is about who’s better suited?” my mother hissed, her eyes narrowing as she glared down at me. “Your sisters have done their duty. They were accepted. You? You’ve brought nothing but shame to this family with your rejections. Six, Alina. Six times no one wanted you. Do you know what that does to us? To the pack?”

I didn’t need to be reminded. I knew all too well what my failures had done.

“This is the only way you’ll ever be useful,” my mother continued, her voice sharp. “You will go to the Silver Moon Pack, and you will convince that alpha to marry you. You’ll secure this alliance, and you’ll do it for this family. Because if you don’t, you might as well be nothing.”

“You’ll leave tomorrow,” my father cut in, his tone final. “The Silver Moon Pack won’t wait forever. And if he rejects you…” He paused, his gaze hardening even further. “He had better not reject you. You mustn’t let him...”

A chill ran down my spine at the clear threat in that sentence. How was I supposed to force the alpha to accept me? How was I supposed to convince someone to want me when no one else had?

I still refused, because this sounded extremely absurd. My father laughed before waving a hand at a guard who left the throne room. He reemerged a few minutes later with the only friend I have throughout my life— Malia, the mute maid I grew up with.

I was appalled and my heart pounded hard as I demanded an explanation for what was happening right now. My beloved maid turned sister, Malia, was in tears and her hands were tied up. That made a lump grow in my throat as I grabbed my father without thinking, pleading and demanding that he fleed Malia, because this has nothing to do with her.

After I began to grow up and it was obvious that I was a freak, my mother saw it fitting to assign Malia, a supposed freak like me. But she was perfect to me, and she became the sister I always wanted and I swore to protect her no matter what. 

And now she’s tied up and in fear because of me.

“Dad please, I’ll do anything, please let her go.” I cried out desperately. I hated letting them see my tears but right now, they fell freely.

My father waved his hand again and the guard carried a struggling Malia away, pushing me away when I attempted to pull Malia from his grasp.

“She‘ll only be freed if you chose to do as asked. Travel to the asked pack and make the alpha accept you no matter what. Failure to do that means Malia loses her life.”

I gasped at the cruelty in his words and called him a monster, and of course, my mother was there to give me a resounding slap.

“Go get ready to leave tomorrow. Keep in mind that we’ll be counting down, so you must finish this mission as fast as possible and return, or you can say goodbye to Malia now.”

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it fast and make the alpha accept me!” I cried out and my father crackled this time.

“That’s what I thought. Now, get lost.”

I nodded, not trusting my voice to speak. What else could I do? I had no choice.

I stormed out of the room too, my father’s words still ringing in my ears. I’ve always known he was cruel, but never to this extent. And clearly my mother was fully supporting him, which made me sick to my stomach. 

As I walked down the hall, making a beeline to my room, I stopped in my tracks, something caught my attention or someone rather. My twin sister was in the hallway, pressed against the wall, her lips locked with someone else’s. I didn’t need to look twice to know who it was. My heart sank, though it shouldn’t have. It was the mate who had rejected me only a few weeks ago. Of course, he’d ended up with her—just like the others.

There they were, practically devouring each other, as if I didn’t even exist. As if they hadn’t turned me down only to crawl into my sister’s bed. The sixth time this had happened. Six rejections. Six men who had once stood before me, looked me up and down, and decided I wasn’t good enough. But for my twin? Oh, she was perfect for them. Always had been.

I wasn’t surprised anymore, not really. But it still hurt.

I clenched my fists, forcing myself to keep walking. I wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of seeing me break, not after my parents just die. I wasn’t going to cry over this, not again. As I passed by them, I heard the soft murmur of my sister’s voice, low and sultry, and the sound of his chuckle. 

I felt a pang in my chest, a reminder of what I’d always been to them—a freak. The girl with no wolf. I should’ve had it by the time I was five. Everyone else in the pack did. But not me. Instead, I was left behind, stuck in a body that didn’t belong. My hair wasn’t the deep, rich black of the other wolves, nor was my skin as sun-kissed and golden as theirs. I was pale, with white-blond hair that made me stand out like a sore thumb. People used to whisper behind my back or right in my face, calling me strange, different. A freak.

I stopped caring about the rumours a long time ago, but that didn’t mean they didn’t sting. Every look, every whisper, it was just a reminder of what I wasn’t. And now, even my twin was a part of that. The one who looked like everything I wasn’t—beautiful, strong, desirable.

Every snide talk stopped bothering me because after coming to terms with the fact that I’d always be a laughing stock, right after the sixth time I got publicly and harshly rejected, I had begun to plan to flee. The plan had been scary because I’ve spent my whole life in the security of the palace walls. But that came at the expense of my life being a public ridicule, which was why I tried fleeing a few weeks ago. 

Unfortunately I got caught and after being punished harshly by my father, he placed guards on me who watched and tracked all my movements. A part of me deluded myself into thinking that was because he cared about me in his own way and didn’t want to lose me even though I was such an embarrassment. However, today, I’m realizing it’s because he wanted to use me as a pawn for this stupid pack.

I made it to my room, slamming the door behind me. My hands shook as I threw open my closet, yanking clothes off hangers and shoving them into a bag. I didn’t care what I packed; I just needed to get out of there. I was angry—at my family, at my sister, at my past mates who rejected me, but mostly, at myself, because I didn’t succeed in fleeing like I hoped. I couldn’t stop that voice in my head, the one that whispered over and over again that maybe they were right. Maybe I wasn’t good enough.

My breath came out in sharp, shallow bursts as I stuffed the last of my things into my bag. There was no escaping this. I had no choice but to go to the Silver Moon Pack, to beg some pack Alpha to accept me. I hated that it had come to this. But there was no point fighting anymore.

I slumped onto the edge of the bed, my face buried in my hands. This was my life now. Nothing I did mattered, nothing I wanted had any value. I had to be useful to them or I was nothing.

The next morning, when I woke, the anger had cooled into a numb ache. I didn’t have the energy to feel anymore. My things were already packed and waiting by the door. 

I took a slow breath and walked over to the bag, dragging it behind me as I headed down the hall. No one was there to see me off. Not my father, not my mother, not even my sisters. It was like I didn’t exist. Or maybe they just didn’t care enough to pretend.

The walls, the sound bouncing back to me in the silence. I knew what this was. I was being sent away, and no one expected me to return. I wasn’t meant to succeed. I was meant to disappear, and everyone seemed just fine with that.

At the front of the house, a single maid stood waiting for me. She offered a weak smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She was here because she had to be, not because anyone cared.

“Ready, miss?” she asked softly, reaching for my bag.

I nodded.

As she hoisted my bag, something slipped out of the side pocket. I frowned, bending down to pick it up. It was a letter. My name scrawled across the front in my mother’s neat, elegant handwriting. A part of me wanted to toss it aside, but curiosity got the better of me.

I opened the envelope, my hands trembling as I pulled out the letter. It was short, and I could almost hear my mother’s voice as I read the words.

“Alina,

Do not come back if you fail. There will be no place for you here. And Malia would be dead. 

-Mum.”

I read it again, hoping I had misunderstood. But no. The words stayed the same. Final.

I crumpled the letter in my fist, a bitter laugh escaping my lips. Of course. Even my own mother was threatening me. She’s just as worst as my father.

I shoved the letter into my pocket and straightened up. The maid didn’t say anything, but I could feel her watching me. I forced myself to stand tall, even though everything inside me felt like it was shattering. I wouldn’t let them see me break. They were not worth it. 

“Let’s go,” I said, my voice flat and emotionless. There was no point in pretending. I had nothing left here.

The maid nodded and led me out the door.

The journey to the Silver Moon Pack took three long days. I kept my head down most of the way, my thoughts were consumed with everything I had to do. Convince an alpha—a stranger and the leader of a pack—to marry me. I had rehearsed what I would say a thousand times, but no amount of planning could shake the dread gnawing at my stomach. My mother’s letter kept replaying in my mind. 

By the time we arrived, I was exhausted but I forced myself to stand tall. I couldn’t afford to show weakness now. As I was led to the grand hall where the pack alpha waited, I took a deep breath, repeating my plan in my head. This was my only chance.

The doors opened, and there he was—Alpha Rylan, leader of the silver moon pack. Tall, broad-shouldered, with an air of confidence that made the room seem smaller. He stood near the fireplace, not bothering to greet me. His eyes flicked to me before settling back into a bored expression. My chest tightened, but I stepped forward, forcing myself to meet his gaze.

“Alpha Rylan,” I began, keeping my voice steady, “I’ve come to propose an alliance between our packs through marriage.”

His lips twisted into a smirk before a laugh escaped him—sharp, mocking. “Marriage? You?” He looked me up and down while his nose twitched, as if I were something unpleasant he’d found on the bottom of his boot. “You seriously think I would marry you? A freak without a wolf?”

The words hit harder than I’d expected, but I didn’t let it show. I couldn’t. My heart pounded in my chest, but I kept my expression calm. “An alliance between our packs could benefit both sides,” I continued, trying to steer the conversation back to logic. “Our families—”

“Stop.” He raised a hand, silencing me. “Do you even hear yourself? Why would someone like me—someone of my status—agree to marry someone like you?” His eyes narrowed, and I felt the disdain radiating from him. “You don’t even have a wolf. What could you possibly offer me?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat, fighting back the hurt. “I understand I’m not your fated mate, but we can still—”

“Enough.” His voice was final. “I have no interest in this arrangement. My father only accepted your father’s offer to send someone over to come propose a deal to us because we thought the person coming would be someone pretty and actually have a wolf, and not someone like you. I’ll let you stay the night, since you’ve travelled so far, but come morning, I expect you to be gone.”

The rejection stung, sharper than any of the others before. I bowed my head slightly, more out of habit than respect, and forced the words out. “Thank you for your hospitality, Alpha Rylan.”

He didn’t bother to respond, turning his back to me as if the conversation had never happened. I walked out of the room, my chest tight, my eyes burning. I had expected rejection, but not like this. Not with such cruelty.

In the room they’d given me, I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the flickering candle on the nightstand. Failure. The word echoed in my head, louder and louder until it was all I could hear. I had failed. I’d done exactly what my mother had warned me not to do. Tears welled in my eyes, and I let a few slip down my cheeks before wiping them away roughly. I couldn’t afford to fall apart now. I had to stay strong. I had to.

But it hurt. Gods, it hurt.

I pressed my palms into my eyes, forcing the tears to stop. Tomorrow, I’d leave. And then… then I’d figure out what came next. Maybe there was still a way to fix this. Maybe. But deep down, I wasn’t sure I believed that anymore.

The next morning, I woke early. My head was heavy, my eyes swollen from the tears I had tried to hold back. I dressed quickly, determined to leave without causing myself more embarrassment. I couldn’t stay here a moment longer than I had to. I kept reminding myself that I could have easily chosen to flee as soon as I got sent on this mission, but I was willingly putting myself through this and still planning to return back home– because of Malia.

Only because of her.

I headed out of my room, looking for the maid who had accompanied me. She’d be waiting by the stables, ready to leave, just like we had planned. But when I reached her room, the door was slightly ajar. I frowned and pushed it open. My heart dropped as I stepped inside. 

Alpha Rylan, the same Alpha that had rejected me so brutally last night was on top of my maid, fucking her like it was his last time and he couldn’t get enough. 

They didn’t see me, too lost in their moment, my breath caught in my throat, my heart slamming against my ribs. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think. I just stood there, staring.

He would rather fuck my maid?! 

I swallowed hard, trying to force down the bile rising in my throat. I couldn’t even speak. Couldn’t scream, couldn’t cry. There was no point. What was there to say? 

I turned and left the room as quietly as I had entered, my legs felt like butter. The hall blurred as I made my way to the entrance, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t face them.

I mounted my horse and rode away, leaving the Silver Moon Pack behind me. Even the strong wind couldn’t dull the ache in my chest. I had failed and now, I had to go home. Empty-handed, and hoping that I’d still be able to save Malia.

   I set up camp far from any pack’s territory. I couldn’t keep going without rest, and I needed time to think. I needed time to come up with some sort of plan that would help save Malia.

My body was tired, but sleep wouldn’t come. Not with the failure hanging over me.

A rustling in the bushes caught my attention. I stood to scan the bushes but I couldn’t see much until figures emerged from the darkness—men, their faces masked, their movements swift. Before I could even scream, one of them grabbed me from behind, a hand clamping over my mouth.

I struggled, my heart racing, but it was no use. My vision blurred as I tried to fight them off and the last thing I felt was the cold ground beneath me as I passed out.