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Conflicted

Author: Billiejo Priestley
last update Last Updated: 2025-06-04 23:54:44

Jaxon POV

I shake my head. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“But you did.” His voice doesn’t waver. “Over and over.”

I glance at him, my throat tight. “So why are you still here?”

“Because I love you, you stupid bastard,” he says, calm like it’s not a grenade between us. “I’ve been in love with you for years. Even when I tried not to be. Even when you made it impossible. And all I ever wanted was for you to be honest with me.”

My heart stumbles in my chest.

“You don’t have to have it all figured out,” he continues. “You don’t have to declare it to the world. You just have to stop lying to me. And to yourself.”

I can’t respond. Not right away. I feel like he’s cracked something wide open in me, something raw and fragile that I’ve spent too long burying.

“I’m scared,” I admit. “Of what happens if I stop pretending. Of what I become.”

He doesn’t move. Doesn’t push.

“You become real,” he says simply. “You stop being the version of yourself that makes everyone
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  • Slapshot Awakening   Caught

    Ryker POVI push the cubicle door closed behind us, bracing one hand against it to keep it shut as I kiss him deeper. His mouth is hot, hungry, his hands already sliding down my chest. They pause at the waistband of my jeans, and he unbuttons them without a second of hesitation.The warning in my mind fades fast the second his hand wraps around my cock. My other hand slams against the wall beside his head, a groan ripping from my throat as his tongue sweeps into my mouth.He shifts, pressing his body closer, until he’s turned around, back pressed to my chest, his chest against the cold wall.“Fuck me, Ryker,” he whispers, voice rough and desperate.I curse under my breath, leaning down to kiss his neck, biting lightly just above his collarbone as I hear the sound of his belt being unfastened.“We’re in a fucking club,” I whisper against his skin, even as I feel his trousers fall.“I don’t care. I don’t want to wait until we get back,” he breathes. His hand reaches back, gripping my co

  • Slapshot Awakening   Making It Better

    Ryker POVBack in the changing room, I drop onto the bench and pull out my phone. The screen lights up with a flood of messages from Jaxon. Of course he couldn’t just send one.Jaxon: I got a phone call...Jaxon: From your coach. Calling me in from the roster.Jaxon: Apparently everyone is fucking dying?Jaxon: Did a woman really poison them?Jaxon: And somehow you, the one who eats everything, dodged it?Jaxon: Why hasn’t your coach found that weird?Jaxon: I got off track. I agreed to play.Jaxon: See you tonight.I stare at the screen, eyebrows raised. “My fucking god,” I mutter under my breath. “Ever heard of sending all that in one text?”Laughing to myself, I set the phone down and head for the showers. It's nice, it's been too long since Jaxon has been like that with me. I take my time, letting the hot water ease the tension out of my muscles, my mind half on the game tomorrow, the other half on what tonight might bring.I don’t bother replying. He’s probably already getting re

  • Slapshot Awakening   Birthday Plans

    Ryker POVThe first part of my day is spent with the team and coach, running through play ideas for the next game. Everyone is throwing out suggestions, but no one sounds confident. It’s not going to be an easy one to win.Truth is, we’re probably going to lose. One of the girls on the coach ride back was handing out cookies or something, and now half the team is sick with food poisoning.I’m barely paying attention. My head’s somewhere else. Erin has been replying to my messages, and not once has she mentioned Jaxon’s birthday. Has she really forgotten?“Ryker, what are your thoughts?”I look up, caught off guard. “On what?”“We’re going through names on the roster. Half the team is out with food poisoning from those damn homemade cookies, so the roster.”I shrug. “I don’t know. Do any of the names actually play hockey?”“You weren’t listening. Coach mentioned Jax,” Quinn mutters beside me. I snap my head up.“Since when was he on the roster? He’s a figure skater, not hockey.”“He di

  • Slapshot Awakening   Birthday

    Jaxon POVMy hands fly into his hair, gripping tight as he takes me deeper. His tongue drags along the underside of my length, and I curse through clenched teeth. He hums, and the vibration shoots straight through me.“Ryker...” I groan, breath catching as his fingers dig into my hips, holding me down. He moves faster, taking more, gagging slightly, and it wrecks me. I’m close, way too close, but I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to go back to reality. Not yet.A knock cuts through the haze.“Ryker?”Erin’s voice.Panic slams into me like a truck, but Ryker doesn’t stop. His hand slaps over my mouth just as I lose it, hips jerking, release tearing out of me hard as he swallows around me, tongue still dragging slow as I twitch against his tongue.“Ryker!” Erin’s shout is louder this time, and he groans, pulling off me.“Give me five,” he calls out, annoyed. “You just woke me.”She mutters something, footsteps storming away.“Shit.” I sit up fast, breath ragged. Guilt slams into me ful

  • Slapshot Awakening   Conflicted

    Jaxon POVI shake my head. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I didn’t want to hurt you.”“But you did.” His voice doesn’t waver. “Over and over.”I glance at him, my throat tight. “So why are you still here?”“Because I love you, you stupid bastard,” he says, calm like it’s not a grenade between us. “I’ve been in love with you for years. Even when I tried not to be. Even when you made it impossible. And all I ever wanted was for you to be honest with me.”My heart stumbles in my chest.“You don’t have to have it all figured out,” he continues. “You don’t have to declare it to the world. You just have to stop lying to me. And to yourself.”I can’t respond. Not right away. I feel like he’s cracked something wide open in me, something raw and fragile that I’ve spent too long burying.“I’m scared,” I admit. “Of what happens if I stop pretending. Of what I become.”He doesn’t move. Doesn’t push.“You become real,” he says simply. “You stop being the version of yourself that makes everyone

  • Slapshot Awakening   The Fear

    Jaxon POVI should get up and walk out, do what I have every other time, and pretend like this was a mistake. I don’t, though, because those words replay in my head like the devil carving into my soul.I made him feel like he’s nothing. I take the best parts of him and throw them away.Usually, I wouldn’t give a shit. The problem is, those words settled deep, because that’s how I fucking feel with Erin. Every time she does something, and it hurts. It fucking burns and wrecks me, and I’ve somehow done the same to Ryker.So I don’t move. I stay right where I am, because making him feel like that, when I’m the issue, is fucking twisted. It doesn’t make this easy, or help though. I still feel fucked, like I’m spiraling and don’t know what the hell to do.Walking from Erin isn’t easy. Giving up my life and accepting this with Ryker isn’t easy. I get it, though. I’ve made him feel like total shit and worthless.Eventually I move back and stand.His sigh hits somewhere deep in me. “I’m done,

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