"You’re afraid of what you did? No, Jax. You’re afraid of how much you liked it." Ryker has always played to win. On the ice, in the locker room, even when it comes to protecting Jaxon, the best friend he’s wanted for longer than he’ll admit. But Jaxon is off-limits. Not just because he’s straight, not just because he’s Ryker’s teammate, but because he’s with Erin, Ryker’s sister. Then one night shatters everything. A mistake. A moment of weakness. A touch that should have never happened. Jaxon won’t talk about it. Won’t look at him the same way. Won’t break up with Erin. And Ryker? He should walk away. Should hate him for it. But instead, he keeps getting pulled back in, because Jaxon may be lying to himself, but his body tells a different story. Lust turns to obsession. Friendship to something jagged and raw. And as their secret spirals into something darker, Ryker realizes one thing. Some forbidden things aren’t just dangerous. They’re inevitable.
Lihat lebih banyakRyker POV
I focus on the game, but all my mind can focus on is the other arena, the one where Erin and Jaxon are skating together. I know they’ve got that big move today, and I wanted to be there to support them.
Actually, I wanted to be there for if he dropped her on her head so I could make him pay for it. He won’t, still, I feel anxious anytime they are doing dangerous moves on the ice.
Hockey? That’s fair game, we know what to expect, we’re meant to be hurt, slammed into the boards and thrown to the ice.
Figure skating? That’s meant to be clean, no mishaps, no slips, no fuck ups. I can’t focus, I’ve seen them training and I know they have it perfect but something in me is on edge.
My body is thrown back hard and I slam against the ice, a groan is ripped from me, and I blink out the disorientation.
“The fuck Ry! I shouted move,” Quinn pushes me against the ice and I groan.
“I didn’t see you coming my way,” I growl and shove him back.
“Well get off the fucking ice as you’re ruining our game! Go on,” he snaps and climbs off me.
Moving, I shake off the hit, but the entire team is glaring at me like I fucked up. I guess I have, totally fucked up.
“Oh sweetheart, that was epic, want me to kiss it better later?” Liam mocks as he skates past me. I regret fucking him. My eyes go to the score and I realize I’m messing up the team. Pushing myself forward I focus on it more.
I can’t let the team down, I force Erin and Jaxon out of my mind and go back to the game, I can probably get there before their performance.
The air in the arena burns my lungs as I push forward, and lock my focus back into the game. The puck moves fast, and Quinn takes control instantly, skating down the ice with sharp precision. I shake out the last of my hesitation and drop into the zone, reading the play and looking for an opening. I have to make up for the fuck up I caused, and prove I'm not dead weight out here.
Liam is still smirking when he cuts past me, but I don't bite. The last thing I need is time in the penalty box, I keep my head down and my eyes locked on the puck. Their winger tries to shove Quinn against the boards, but he dodges at the last second, and flicks the puck towards me.
I saw the hesitation in his movement like he is ready for me to fuck up. My stick meets it clean, and I take off down the ice. My skates carve hard into the ice as I pick up more speed. My heart slams like a war drum, and I fake left just to cut right and that's when I see my opening.
There's no hesitation, I shoot, and the shot leaves my stick with force, a sharp sound of cracking erupts through the arena. For a split second, everything around me slows, and I watch it fly, I watch the goalie drop too late. The puck slams into the net.
The goal horn screams and relief washes over me as my teammates rush in, slapping my helmet and knocking against my shoulders.
"Fucking hell Ry! That's more like it," Quinn barks, his grin widening. I don't bother replying, I just get ready to go again.
Liam skates up to me and laughs. "See? You're still useful on the ice, sweetheart."
I don’t hesitate.
Shoving him off me, I push away but I can't help the small smirk that tugs at my lips, Liam's team isn't winning this. Sure the game isn't over, but at least I've evened the score, at least on the ice. Off it? My mind still lingers on the other rink, on Erin and Jaxon. Pushing it down I ignore the worry, I have to finish this first. Then I can go check on them.
I watch the puck drop again, and I force every ounce of my focus onto the game. Digging in, I push off hard and ensure my skates bite into the ice as I charge forward. The other is pissed, it's clear to see in the way they tighten their grip on their sticks. I can see it in the way their bodies shift with more aggression. They didn't expect us to even the score so fast.
Good, I'm glad they feel blindsighted. Let them be mad.
Quinn wins the faceoff, and flicks the puck toward me, there's no hesitation this time. I barely catch it before a body slams into me, driving me toward the boards. The moment I hit, my helmet rattles with the impact, and pain sparks down my side, but I refuse to fall down. I spin off the check, and keep the puck on my stick as I drive it up the ice.
I hear the crunch of skates as they close in, and heavy breathing of my opponents as they close the gap. They're not letting me get another clean shot, at least not without making me bleed for it.
My eyes flicker across the ice and I see Kai up ahead, he's cutting across the blue line, his stick tapping against the ice. I don't hesitate. Faking a pass right, I then quickly send the puck flying toward him, as soon as it flies forward, a body collides with mine.
I go down hard, but I hear it, the sharp slap of Kai's stick and the sudden roar of the crowd that tells me we got another shot in.
Blinking through the sting in my side, I push myself up just in time for the horn to blare signalling a shot was made.
Kai goes crazy, skating past the bench, his fist is raised and I laugh feeling the rush of it. The energy of the team feeding off the goal. Quinn hauls me up off the ice and back onto my feet before delivering a slap to my helmet.
"You back now?" he shouts over the noise.
I nod, although my mind is already ahead, thinking about the time on the clock. It's the third period, with five minutes left. I can make it, if I play this right. I can still get to Erin and Jaxon before they hit the ice.
The puck drops again and we dig in, grinding down for the final few minutes. The other are desperate and getting sloppy, they ar throwing everything at us, but we keep shutting them down. Every check, every blocked shot, every clear, and it all adds up.
They pull their goalie with only a minute left, further proof they are desperate and grasping at any chance to pull this back.
Ryker POVHis eyes burn into mine, wide and dark, daring me to move first.“You drive me insane,” I mutter, lowering my mouth to his.“You love it,” he breathes, his hands already sliding under my shirt, tugging it up.I kiss him hard, messy, my teeth scraping against his bottom lip until he groans into my mouth. His fingers twist in the fabric of my shirt, pulling me even closer like he can't get enough.I break the kiss long enough to rip my shirt off over my head, then tug his up too, leaving both of us half-naked and breathing hard.He looks wrecked already, flushed from the heat, the adrenaline, the weight of the night finally slamming into both of us at once.“You looked so fucking good out there,” I growl against his throat, my hands roaming his sides, memorizing every muscle, every scar. “Wanted to jump over the boards and tear you off the ice.”He laughs, rough and breathless. “That would have been one hell of a finale.”I grip his hips, grinding against him slow and delibera
Ryker POVI don't move. I barely breathe. This is his moment to answer, not mine.She shifts on her feet, waiting, looking like she might break if he says nothing.For a long second, he does not. He just watches her, unreadable.Then he exhales slowly, the tension bleeding out of his shoulders a little.“Thanks for saying it,” he says quietly.Erin nods, looking like she might cry.Jaxon doesn't offer more, and she does not push for it. She just gives him a small, broken smile and backs away into the crowd, disappearing into the noise and lights.Jaxon watches her go for a second, then turns back toward me, something heavy and hollow lingering in his eyes.I step closer without thinking, close enough that he can feel me there if he needs it.“She’s trying,” he whispers.I nod slowly. “She is, moving out seems to have made her grow up. Not to mention, when she tried that shit with Paul he destroyed her with words and she learnt.”We all heard the stories, Erin trying to get Paul to mou
Ryker POVI lean back against the barrier, arms crossed, watching Jaxon handle the reporters like he has been doing it his whole life. There is a calm around him now, something raw but strong, like he finally stopped fighting himself.Every time the cameras flash, every time they say his name, he stands a little taller.I can't stop staring.Out of the corner of my eye, I catch movement. Erin. She hesitates a few steps away, arms folded tight across her chest, biting her lip hard enough that it should probably hurt.For a second, it looks like she is going to turn around and bolt. Then she forces herself closer. She stops next to me, shifting from foot to foot like she would rather be anywhere else.“You should tell him well done,” she mutters, her voice low, almost embarrassed.I glance at her sideways. “You should tell him yourself.”She flinches a little but does not move. “I don't know if I should. If he even wants me to.”“You can't avoid him forever,” I say, keeping my voice eve
Jaxon POVHis grin goes sharp, smug, and way too fucking pleased with himself.“But,” he adds, voice dropping low and teasing, “you’re banned from doing that hip roll shit on the ice.”I blink at him, thrown. “What?”“That shit was teasing. Straight up harassment.” He smirks wider. “You know how many people you just mentally fucked up with that? Including me?”A snort escapes before I can stop it, the weight in my chest loosening a little. “Jealous?”“Terrified,” Ryker grins. “Next time you pull that move, I’m storming the fucking rink mid-routine and dragging you off by your stupid, tight-ass pants.”Rosie laughs beside us, overhearing enough to get the gist, and shoves Ryker lightly. “Get in line, man. Half the arena probably wants to propose to him now.”Ryker just winks at her. “Doesn’t matter. He’s already fucking taken.”Heat flushes up my neck, but somehow, this time, it doesn’t feel heavy. It feels light. Real.The announcer’s voice booms overhead, jolting me back to the momen
Jaxon POVTwo Months LaterI feel sick, physically sick. My hands shake, and I’m now wondering what I’m doing, why I’m here, why I’m even trying anymore.“Ready?” Coach looks at me and Rosie.I’m not, I’ve not competed in a contest since Erin, since the mess and I’m spiraling. Why am I still trying? I should just give up, right, I should just walk away.“I can’t do it,” I whisper.Rosie stares and coach sighs. As soon as I step onto that ice, I’m public again, everything I done is observed, dissected and pulled apart. If I don’t do this, the only time I’m in the public is when I’m around Ryker.So I should walk, I should give up.“You’re late,” the voice says and I turn and see Ryker.“What are you doing? You have a fucking game.”He shrugs and walks over, Rosie and Coach walk away. “Yeah, well, I figured they could manage the last half without me. I’m not about to leave you alone in this.”“There’s nothing to leave me alone with, I’m not doing it.”He laughs. “Yes you are, you’re goi
Ryker POVMy heart is hammering in my chest, fists still clenched, arm still locked against Aiden’s throat like I haven’t decided whether I want to throw him through the fucking wall or let go.I woke to my fucking phone ringing and Quinn warning me that Jaxon was up to something. Then I saw the message. I would have got here quicker if I didn't have to wait for a damn taxi but I'd drank too much tonight to drive.Aiden's not smiling anymore. His usual cocky grin is gone, replaced with something quieter. A little shaken. A little cracked.Good.“You understand me?” I growl, voice low and sharp like a blade pressed to skin. “This isn’t a joke. This isn’t some pissing contest. You don’t get to talk to me. You don’t get to show up around me. You don’t fucking exist to me anymore.”Aiden swallows, his throat working hard against my arm. He nods once, quick, jerky.I shove him back, not as hard as before, just enough to let him know this is over. Not up for debate. Not up for discussion. D
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