Chapter 5

~Areum~

I swear the Alpha had some personal vendetta against my spine, because that bow; his precious “training tool” felt heavier than my entire childhood trauma combined.

“Hold it higher,” he said behind me, and I almost threw up, because his voice was right in my ear. Like. Actually touching my ear. I felt the warmth of his breath slide down my neck, and I froze so hard my arms shook.

“I am holding it higher,” I snapped, even though the bow looked like it wanted to collapse out of my hands. “If I lift it any more, I’ll accidentally shoot God.” I actually had the energy too, but I'm supposed to be a soft girl, remember? 

He ignored me, obviously, because he was him.

He wrapped one hand around my wrist, firm, warm, and lifted my arm slightly. I immediately regretted everything about my life choices. My chest bindings were already rubbing painfully from the tension, and his adjusting my posture made the fabric strain even more. One wrong move and my entire fake identity would literally pop out in his face like some sick joke.

“Your stance is wrong,” he murmured, and then his other hand slid onto my hip like it belonged there. My soul left my body, visited the afterlife, and came back with a complaint form.

“Okay, why are you touching me like I’m a horse you’re trying to train?” I squeaked, trying to angle my elbows in a way that didn’t flash him my entire secret.

“I’m correcting you,” he said, unfazed, tightening his grip just a little to straighten me. “Stop acting like I’m hurting you.”

“You are hurting me,” I hissed. “Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. All the ‘-ally’-s.”

He breathed out a laugh, an actual laugh, like he found me amusing and I wanted to fling myself into a river.

I took the shot anyway, mostly just to escape the moment, and the arrow flew straight into the dirt like it wanted to crawl into the earth and hide with my dignity.

The Alpha looked at the arrow. Then looked at me.

“…Impressive,” he said dryly.

Oh shut up I whispered, marching to retrieve it, praying my bindings stayed in place. “Thank you my lord” I muttered.

My shoulders ached already. I had no upper-body strength, no magic advantage, no nothing except fear and this binder holding me together.

When I got back, he was still watching me with that unreadable expression. The kind that made my stomach twist and my brain yell, Act normal before he figures out you’re not normal.

“We’ll work on it again tomorrow,” he said. “Your arms are trembling.”

“My arms are always trembling,” I snapped. “That’s a personality trait at this point.”

He eyed me. “Why are you breathing like you’re dying?”

“Because I am dying. This bow weighs more than my entire hope for the future.”

He shook his head, like he was deciding whether I was funny or stupid. Probably both.

I thought that was the worst part of the day.

Oh, I was wrong.

So wrong.

***

I thought I could escape quickly, run back to the room the maids expected me to use and lock myself in, safe from people wanting to scrub me or touch me or accidentally discover I wasn’t exactly built like they expected.

But no.

The universe hated me.

It was bath time.

I heard the maids calling from down the hall, cheerful and horrifying.

“My lady? It’s time for your wash!”

I froze like an idiot deer.

Absolutely not. I’d avoided them three times already, faking sickness, faking headaches, faking a dramatic collapse the second they tried to unhook the back of my gown. I was running out of excuses and also running out of oxygen at this point.

I slipped into a side room and leaned against the door like I was being hunted which I technically was.

My bindings were killing me. Sweat made them rub uncomfortably, and I wanted so badly to take everything off and breathe, but the risk,.

No. Not an option.

Of course, that was when the door opened.

Not gently. Not slowly.

Swung open like the world owed him space.

The Alpha filled the doorway, looking like he’d been actively searching for me.

Which he probably had.

Fantastic. Perfect. Kill me.

He folded his arms, staring me down like I was a prisoner who tried to escape.

“Why,” he asked, “have you been avoiding your baths?”

I swallowed so hard my throat clicked.

“I haven’t.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“You screamed and ran yesterday.”

“I had a dramatic effect. My lord” I made a grin on my face.

“You kicked a bucket at a maid.”

“She startled me!”

“You told them you were allergic to water.”

I covered my face with both hands. “In my defense, I was panicking.”

He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him quietly. Too quietly. It made my skin crawl with nerves.

His voice came softer but firmer, like he was speaking to a frightened animal.

Which… okay, fair.

“Areum,” he said. “It’s not optional. You can’t refuse basic care.”

I snapped my head up. Yes I can. Watch me.

“I know that my lord.”

He stared at me. I stared back.

Then he sighed and rubbed his forehead like I personally was giving him wrinkles.

“You’re afraid,” he said simply.

I nearly choked. “I’m not afraid….”

“You are. You think someone will hurt you.”

My throat closed. My brain launched itself out the window. I didn’t even know what to say, because he was close, too close but not for the right reason. He didn’t suspect the truth. He thought I was traumatized.

Which in a way, I was, just… not like that.

He stepped closer, and I backed up like he had lit matches in his hands.

The problem? There was a wall behind me.

He stopped only when I hit it, his shadow covering me.

“Tonight,” he said quietly, “you’ll bathe with me.”

My eyes nearly flew out of my skull.

“WHAT?!”

He held up a hand, unbothered by my shrieking.

“You’re clearly uncomfortable with the maids. So I’ll be there. I won’t touch you… if that’s what you’re worried about.”

My heart fell straight through my stomach.

Oh.

Oh no.

Oh no no no.

He wasn’t teasing. He wasn’t mocking me. He was trying to be reassuring like he honestly thought this would make me feel safer.

Like he cared.

And I had no idea how to deal with that. Not when he was standing so close, not when he’d spent the entire morning touching my wrists and guiding my hips and breathing on my neck like I wasn’t one accidental stumble away from being exposed.

“I don’t need help bathing,” I muttered weakly.

“You do,” he said. “You’re shaking every time someone approaches you.”

“That’s becaus….because….”

I gestured helplessly at my whole existence. “Because reasons!”

“If you don’t want to be touched, I won’t touch you,” he repeated. “You have my word.”

His voice dropped, softer.

“I’m only doing this because you look terrified.”

My heart squeezed.

He really thought he was helping.

He thought I trusted no one, and he was trying to step in. He was trying to protect me. 

He wasn’t supposed to care.

And I wasn’t supposed to react.

But I did.

God, I did.

“Areum,” he said again, softer than I’d ever heard him. “You don’t have to be afraid when you’re with me.”

My breath stuttered.

“Don’t say things like that,” I said, voice shaking. “It makes it worse.”

He frowned. “Worse?”

He waited.

I shut my mouth.

No way was I finishing that sentence.

He finally stepped back, giving me space, though his eyes didn’t leave me for a second.

“Tonight,” he said again, like it was law. “I’ll be there. You don’t have to let anyone touch you. Just get in the water. That’s all I ask.”

My heart sank straight into the floor.

He nodded once, turned, and reached for the door.

Before leaving, he looked back at me.

“I won’t touch you,” he repeated. “You have nothing to fear from me.”

But that was the problem.

I did have something to fear.

Him.

Because if he got even a little too close…

if he saw even a little too much…

if he touched me, even accidentally…

Everything would collapse.

Everything.

The door closed behind him.

And I slid down the wall, burying my face in my hands.

My heart pounded so hard it hurt.

Tonight.

Tonight I had to survive a bath with the Alpha.