Chapter 06 - Dance With Me

“I like you, Calista.” What? Is he serious? “I don’t like her, I never did. It’s just you. Only you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I don’t even know how to react. I was left speechless, and I tried my best to not show any emotion as well so I won’t give him any idea on what I feel for what he just said. Frankly, I don’t even know what I feel.

“Calista? Please say something. Your silence is seriously scaring me right now.” He uttered, his voice a little shaky.

“To be honest with you, I don’t know what to say.” That’s all I said, and I’m not even sure if I said the right thing? Will that hurt his feelings? What should I say?

“I just confessed my feelings for you.” He chuckled.

“Please don’t leave me hanging. Say something.”

“I just told you, I don’t know what to say!”

“Just say whatever it is you feel, okay? Be honest, I’ll accept it, then I’ll shut up.”

What do I feel? It’s complicated. What’s more confusing about this is that I was so sure that I like him, until he confessed his feelings for me. What I know for sure, however, is that if he confessed months ago, I would’ve said I like him too, but now I’m not so sure.

Blake is the man of my dreams. He’s very nice, sweet, smart, hardworking, passionate, and enthusiastic. He’s a gentleman and I like that he gets along really well with my family and friends. When I was younger, I used to think that we’re meant to be together. I had a crush on him since forever ago, what changed all of a sudden?

“Don’t... don’t expect anything from me, Blake. I can’t give you an answer, I wish I knew how I feel.” I turned around and placed my hands on my head, hoping it would help gather my thoughts. I can’t believe this is happening right now! My dream guy confessed and I can’t say I like him back.

“I know. I’m sorry, Cal, you don’t have to say anything. I don’t want to pressure you, please know that. You’re my best friend and I understand how confusing this is for you. Honestly, it’s confusing for me too.” He said as he held my shoulders to try to calm me down. He turned me around so that I could face him.

“What about Angela?”

“I don’t have feelings for her. I thought I did so I went with it, also so I could take my mind off of you because I don’t want to ruin our friendship. She, um, she said some pretty mean things about you during the pageant, which is why I stopped talking to her. That’s also when I realized that it’s you. It always has been you, not her, she was just.. there.”

I should’ve been delighted to hear those words from Blake, knowing that he chooses me. Instead, my heart ached for Angela. I thought about putting myself in her position to understand what she may be feeling right now. I wouldn’t like it if someone I thought I had real connections with said he never had feelings for me, and I was just simply there. She must be hurting right now.

“Blake, that’s fucked up.” I quickly turned and walked away from him. I just couldn’t face him and hear anymore of this!

I can hear him calling out my name, but I kept my head straight and avoided looking back. If him liking me means that another girl will hurt in the process, I don’t want it. He needs to deal with Angela first, then we could talk about feelings.

I said goodbye to Margaux and told her I will skip the sleepover she planned. She was disappointed, and I know I am a terrible friend for doing that, but I know Blake will be there and I can’t be with him right now. Anyways, I told her I wasn’t feeling well so I needed to get home quickly.

Blake, Carter, Margaux, and I have been friends since we’re young and Margaux’s mom knows us very well so she trusts it will be fine if we have a sleepover, despite the gender difference. We sleep in separate beds, so it’s all good.

From: Margaux

Get well soon. :)) I cancelled the sleepover, no way I’m sleeping with the boys.

I smiled when I read her text. I can hear her voice and imagine her rolling her eyes as she said the last sentence.

I’m just grateful that tomorrow’s Sunday and there’s no school, at least I can avoid seeing Blake. In the meantime, I can think about what I will say when I see him on Monday.

I rolled in my bed and stared at my ceiling. Life’s been so messy lately, huh? Maybe I should just sleep to calm my head instead of thinking about what happened with Bake over and over.

I rolled to my side, facing my door. My eyes darted on the book I placed above my desk, beside the door. I still can’t believe I finally have this book! I smiled and hurriedly stood up to pick it up, then I layed on my bed again.

What better way to clear my mind than to read, right?

Hmm, now that I think of it, tonight wasn’t so bad after all. Asher’s smile as he saw my reaction when he gave me the book kept replaying in my head. That thought made me smile again.

I didn’t do much that night, I just stayed in bed and read. It was one of the perfect nights I had, peaceful and calm.

The next morning, I read a couple more pages of the book since I’m already on the last five chapters. The story and plot was very catchy, so I read it quite fast.

Should I text him and give him an update? Would he be interested in knowing what I think about the book? Hmm, why am I so anxious about texting him? We talk a lot in person so there shouldn’t be anything to be nervous about.

I tried to finish the book immediately so I can drop by the cafe later to return it. Once I’m done reading, I decided to leave a little note.

‘Thanks for the book. I really appreciate it. Would you like to take me to the beach and dance with me under the rain too? :P

- Calista’

The last sentence was a reference from

the book, because the main characters were on the beach, dancing under the rain when they first met. I thought it was quite weird to dance with a stranger at first but it turned out well for the main characters. It’s fine if I write that in the note, right? I mean, I know the main characters are lovers but I don’t actually mean it, it’s just a reference.

I wore a pair of high waisted jeans and a basic white crop top, paired with white sneakers. I let my hair down, and brought a tote bag with me so I can fit the book inside.

To: Asher

Hey, I’m on my way to the cafe to return the book today. Message sent!

It was 6 PM when I left the house so it was already starting to get dark. It’s fine though, since I’m just returning the book. It won’t take long.

I decided to just walk today instead of taking a cab since the cafe is not too far from here and I’m not feeling tired. While walking, I passed Blake’s house. I looked up at his bedroom’s window and noticed the lights were off. I wonder where he is? What’s he doing? Is he okay?

Nevermind. Maybe I should just stop thinking about him. I do like him back, but I can’t just say that to him.

When I arrived at the cafe, Asher was already waiting for me outside. I smiled immediately when I saw him and walked faster to get to him quicker. “Hey, I’m done reading the book.” I took the book out of my bag.

“That was fast.” He said as he took the book from

me. “Do you want to come inside? I can make us a drink.” He offered. I sat down on the bench outside the cafe, and he remained standing, waiting for my reply.

“Iced matcha latte sounds good, and I think I’ll just stay here.”

“You sure? It’s cold out here.”

“Yeah, I like the cold.”

He chuckled at what I said and went inside to get us something to drink.

I entertained myself just by scrolling through social media while I waited for him to return. After a while I put down my phone and just stared at the cars passing by. A guy on his bike caught my eye. Blake.

He was riding his bike on the street just across this cafe, and stupidly enough, I accidentally dropped my phone. “Shit,” I quickly picked it up and checked if the screen cracked. Luckily, my phone is in good condition despite the impact on the ground.

When I looked back up, Blake had already stopped his bike and was staring at me. I stared back, not knowing whether I should greet him, talk to him, or just ignore him. To my surprise, he smiled at me so I smiled back awkwardly. Then, he suddenly got on his bike again and it seems like he’s heading this way! I panicked internally because I don’t want to talk to him yet, but I don’t want to push him away either.

“Here you go,” I was startled when Asher suddenly bumped my shoulder with the iced matcha, the cold and moist cup touching my skin sent me shivers. “Oh.” He uttered, which made me look at him, only to see him looking in the same direction I was earlier, where Blake was.

When I looked back at Blake, he was already on his bike, pedaling away from us. “What’s with him? Are you guys fighting or something?” Asher asked and sat down beside me.

“Not really. I mean, I guess?” Are we fighting? We’re not, right? We just have a misunderstanding. “It’s complicated.”

“Try me,” he said and leaned back in the bench.

I guess it’s okay to tell him. He’s not the type to gossip so I trust he will keep this a secret.

“Yesterday at the party he told me he likes me.” That’s all I said and I avoided his eye contact, afraid that he’ll tease me or make any uncomfortable reaction about it.

“So?” I looked at him when he asked. “Don’t you like him too?” He raised an eyebrow and placed his coffee down the chair.

“Yeah, I guess I do. I don’t know why I chickened though, I basically pushed him away,” I looked up as I realized that it’s not only because of Angela that I pushed him, I’m scared to deal with feelings. I’ve been crushing on Blake for as long as I can remember and I didn’t know what to do now that I know he feels the same.

“If you feel the same, shouldn’t you be happy?” I looked back at him and played with my fingers out of uncertainty of why I’m not as happy as I thought I would be now that I’m sure the feeling’s mutual. “You’re scared, aren’t you?” He raised an eyebrow and smirked as he asked.

“Forget it. I don’t know why you keep asking about him, I want to get my mind off of things.

Tomorrow’s a Monday so I just want to have fun now.” I leaned back on the chair as well and tilted my head to face him.

“What do you want to do?” He asked, still smirking.

I stood up and held his hand, forcing him to stand as well. “Let’s just take a walk,” I said as I tried to pull him away. “You’re new here, I want to show you around town.”

“I was new here last summer, which was two months ago. I think I know the town well enough now.” He said and laughed as if my idea was ridiculous, but he let me pull him anyway.

“Whatever. I still want to show you my favorite places here.”

We were just silently walking for around 3 minutes when we finally arrived at the first place I wanted to bring him. They guarded the place by putting gates around it but it didn’t really bother me, I can still manage to enter.

“You know how the little spot at the cemetery was your comfort place?” I climbed on the gate and jumped on the other side. “This is mine.” I smiled and convinced him to come here too.

“Is this legal?” He said while climbing so I laughed at him. “Damn, I didn’t know you could be such a rebel, Calista.”

He brushed the dust off his shirt and I laughed at how careful he was. He looked at me as I was laughing, “Aren’t you like the little princess in this town?”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t stop me from going here.” I chuckled and walked away from him, getting deeper inside this old park. This has been closed for years now but I have secretly been sneaking in ever since. I think this lot has been bought so it’s not for the public anymore but no one’s visiting it. I think I’m the only one who comes here.

I sat down at the old rusty swing and I was surprised when he got behind me and lightly pushed me. I held on to the chain of the swing, not minding even if the rust was staining my hand. I looked up at the sky and saw the stars sparkling and it reminded me of that night with him at the cemetery.

“When we were little, Blake and I came here everyday,” he paused for a while, then continued to push me. “We would get ice cream and he would push me in the swing hard. It’s this swing actually, the exact same spot. I'd scream so loud and my dad would get worried, thinking I fell off. Life was so much easier back then. I was always happy and everyone liked me because I was a friendly kid.” I took a deep breath as I reminisced the old days, missing how close Blake and I were, no drama, my dad being there for me all the time, and my mom being genuinely happy.

My thoughts were interrupted when Asher suddenly pushed the swing harder which caught me off guard, so I held on the chain tighter. “Asher!” I screamed and giggled as he kept pushing me even though I got scared. “Oh my God, stop!” I can hear him laughing too.

Eventually, I didn’t try to stop him anymore. I let him push hard, and my body would rise up in the air, it feels like I’m flying. I smiled and took a deep breath as I felt the air brush through me and looked at the sparkling stars again, admiring how beautiful it is to get a closer look.

When the swing got back at its original position, Asher held my shoulders to stop it from swinging. “Do you want to go get ice cream?” He whispered in my ear, which made me smile.

We went out of the park so we could look for the nearest store here and get ice cream. It was getting chilly to be honest but I’m always in the mood for ice cream.

We both stopped walking when we felt raindrops on our heads. Soon enough, the rain started pouring that we both ran back to Brown Brick Cafe.

“We didn’t even get to buy ice cream!” I screamed while laughing, he was laughing with me. He held my hand and we ran fast together.

Finally, we arrived at the cafe. I was panting when we got here, he ran so fast and I had no choice but to keep up because he was holding my hand. “Hey,” he placed his hand on my back and gently rubbed, noticing how out of breath I was. Embarrassing, ugh.

I was astounded when he wrapped his arm around my waist out of the blue, his other hand holding mine. Our bodies were so close together and my eyes were like stuck on his, I couldn’t look away for some reason. I was just staring at his deep, dark eyes. Then, his body lightly swayed as he guided me to do the same. When I was comfortable enough, I swayed with him too. We’re dancing under the rain.

“I know you said you wanted to dance under the rain on the beach, but does this count?” He asked and grinned, and my lips parted. He read the note I left in the book.

——