"I'll miss you, Dad. I'll always miss you." Sidhiel said crying while holding the picture of his deceased father.
He hugged the picture and let out heartbreaking sobs. His father died after his bypass operation. Although the specialists already told them that there's a fifty-fifty chance to it, they still expected him to survive.
But faith was playful. He can still remember their conversation before his father was brought inside the operating room.
"Sidhiel, if I don't make it in there, I want you to take care of yourself. Do what your heart tells you. Believe in yourself, honey." Mark weakly said while the nurses were wheeling him towards the operating room. He was clutching his father’s hand tightly, not wanting to let it go.
He was stopping his father from talking but Mark continued. "I am so proud of you, Sid. I know all of your achievements." Sidhiel looked at his father in surprise. He had never told a soul about his awards and achievements.
Mark let out a weak laugh. "I wished you had told me. But I respect your decision in hiding it from us. You don't expect me not to discover it, do you? I am your father after all. And you are my son."
"Dad.."
"I may not be there with you,
Eara, and your mom physically, but spiritually, I'll be there every step of the way." Mark's voice was shaking when he said that. "Continue with your passion, Sid. Continue your art. I love you, my firstborn."Sidhiel nodded. And with tears in his eyes, he kissed him on the forehead, believing that his father was going to survive.
All throughout the operation, Sidhiel and Eara were in a chapel somewhere inside the hospital. When their father was rolled out from the operating room, he was unconscious. Then after exactly ten minutes, he was gone. Just like that.
The doctors said that there had been a complication. Sidhiel zoned out from the doctor’s explanation. There's only one thing that is ringing in his mind and ear: His father was gone.. gone forever.
And just earlier, his father was buried in the cemetery. That was the hardest part Sidhiel had ever done: To say goodbye to the person who had always been there for him from the beginning.. to the only person who had loved him completely. To the only person who believed in him.
He would never see him walk out the door again. He would never hear his voice again. He would never see him smile again.
Gosh, he would never see his father again.. ever.
A month later..
"You know what, Dad? There's someone who is interested to see my paintings." Sidhiel is currently at the cemetery, in front of his father's resting ground. "Remember Jade, the girl who saw my works back in college? We accidentally bumped into each other again after two years. She was actually looking for me. She said that his brother-in-law, Niall Steiner, was looking for new talents to feature in his exhibit."
Sidhiel was so excited while telling that to his father. He immediately went to the cemetery to tell his father the good news.
"Can you believe it, Dad? That's the Niall Steiner. One of the world's most famous painters."
His eyes were shining. It's the first time, after his father died, that he felt this alive again.
"Though he will still look and judge my works, at least, I have a chance Dad, right?"
He had a degree in Bachelor of Science in Business Administration and Accountancy. He also had his MBA from Harvard. He would like to take Fine Arts as his course but of course, his mother did not allow him. She said that there is no money in that profession.
And just like all the other times, his mother won again.
So Sidhiel took up the course that she wanted, but unbeknown to her, Sidhiel's spare time was spent in an art class. That's why his talent in painting was enhanced further.
It was only his dad who knew that he was enrolled in an art class while taking up Administration. Mark gave him his full support.
"It has never been the same without you, Dad. I miss you so much." Sidhiel was unable to stop his tears.
*****
It was almost ten p.m. when he reached home from the cemetery. It was Saturday and he did not expect the traffic.
He had his own key to the front door of their house so he doesn't need to knock or use the doorbell. He also will not be scolded by his mother because she's surely asleep by now.
Sidhiel grumbled about how he can't even drive his car fast enough. He just said that in the spur of the moment, but he really loved his car as much as he loved his old stuffed toy named 'Mr. Ted'. The money he used to pay for it came from his own pocket.
He was about to finish college when it was offered to him by a classmate who is about to buy a new car. The money he paid for the car came from his savings. It came from the allowances that he saved and a big percentage of it was from the prize when his painting had won first place in a competition that he'd joined.
It was not the latest car model and the car seldom give up in the middle of the road, but Sidhiel loved the car. His car.
That car was really his in every sense of the word. And he was very proud of it.
His father wants to buy him a new car but Sidhiel refused. He doesn't mind that the car Eara uses was more beautiful than his.
Eara's car was a gift from their parents.
All right, he admit, he was a little bit jealous. But that was before. Besides, Eara deserved it. She worked hard for it.
Though Sidhiel's grades were far higher than Eara and the highest in his school, he never showed his report card to his parents. He was consistently the top student in the class and had won a lot of academic competitions. He doesn't want any complications so he chose to study in a different school from Eara.
He was proud of himself and it was a great achievement for him, but he never once boasted about it to anyone. He was still shy and humble. Still afraid to speak because his mother always compares him to Eara- how different he was to his sister.. how sensible Eara was, unlike him. The list would go on and on. Even though his mother doesn't know anything about his school life.
Sidhiel sighed when he stopped his car in front of their house. Until now, he's still afraid of his mother- big time. He hasn't done anything right in his mother's eyes.
A part of him wanted to blame his mother for why he grew up weak and aloof towards other people. It had been a long time before his stuttering disappeared due to inferiority complex.
Now he knows that his stuttering was psychological. He stutters when he is in front of other people, especially when it is his mother. Because most of the time, she shouts at him. She scolds him even about the smallest of things.
His father even brought him to a specialist but the doctor saw nothing wrong with him. So he just said that there really are kids who develop speech late.
Even he was confused before. When he is alone, he can speak properly and well. But when someone is in front of him, he stutters. He feels like he will say the wrong words and that his mother will hit him because of it.
He was only glad that it was a thing of the past now.
He couldn't say that he was confident now. He's still afraid that he will do something that he likes and his mother will dislike it. When his father was still alive, it's easy for him to follow what his heart desires because his father was always there to guide and support him.
He became so dependent on his father that when his father died, he doesn't know where to start with his life.
A while ago, he was so excited because he will finally have a chance to showcase his paintings. His worries were overpowered by his excitement.
But now that he was back in their house, he was eaten again by worry.
His thoughts were stopped by the cool air that grazed his skin.
He shivered. He raised his hand to put the key in the keyhole. But he was surprised when the door suddenly opened.
Sidhiel automatically closed his eyes tightly. He was sure it was his mother.
He prepared himself for the angry voice of his mom. But he heard nothing. Confusedly and reluctantly, he slowly opened his left eye, followed by his right eye when he recognized who the person in front of him is.
Nothing in the world had prepared him for this moment.
Mr. Steiner's exhibit was auspicious. A lot of people loved and were impressed by Sidhiel's works. That night was a success. Of course, Kalyxwas with him that night. As well as their families, even Mrs. Porter. He already forgave his mother. They already talked heart to heart. It would take time for them to be close to one another but they're both willing to work on it. ***** "Geez, Kalyx. Stop, please. You're making me dizzy." Alenasaid, staring at her son pacing back and forth in the room. "Sorry, Mom. I'm just.. just really-" "Nervous?" Geoff supplied. Kalyxnodded. "Yeah." "Well, don't be. Everything's going to be fine, son." Alenasaid. "I know.. I just.. what if he changes his mind?" Kalyx's eyes widened at his own realization. "Oh my gosh, Dad, Mom, what if he realized that he doesn't want to get married to me? What if he realized that I'm not the one for him? What i
Sidhiel felt so happy and light after their sibling talk. Earahad been gone for a while now but promised to come by again tomorrow. Now, he really believes that the sun shines after the storm. How he wished that his husband would come home soon. He wanted to apologize for not believing him when he said he loved him. Please, Kalyx, come home. He silently pleads. And it looks like his guardian angel was listening, because the door opened, presenting Kalyx. Their eyes met. Kalyx's expression was soft. It looks like he was not mad anymore. Hope surged in Sidhiel'sheart. "H-Hi." He greeted. "Hi, yourself!" Kalyxgreeted, smiling fondly. Kalyxwalked towards him and encircled his waist with his arms, pulling him towards him. "Are you in the mood to talk now, Mr. Brier?" Sidhiel'seyes became teary. His husband is not mad anymore. "Sshh.. It's okay,
When Sidhielfinally managed to stop himself from crying, heand Kalyxare now sitting on the grass, facing each other. "Now I know why Mommy is so distant to me ever since I was a child." He told Kalyxin narration. "In a way, I understand her, you know. She was raped. She's mad at my father. And I remind her of what happened. But still, a big part of me wants to be angry at her." He admitted. Kalyxjust listened. His hands were caging Sidhiel'ssmall ones, like he's giving him the strength to continue. "It was not my fault." Sidhiel'stears started to appear again. "I just wished she had been a mother to me." He stated forlornly. "What ever it is that happened, it did not happen without a reason. There were lessons learned. And that's what matters. We learned something from it." Kalyxfinally said. He pulled Sidhieland encased him in his arms again. They remained that way for around five minutes.
Sidhielquickly started the engine of his car and drove away from the studio. He already said what he needed to say to Kalyx. After what happened, he doesn't know how to face him again. But before that, he needs to know something first. If he needs to face everything, he would want to do it now. He'll confront everything today. Not long after, he stopped his car in front of their house. He had to talk to his mother once and for all. He saw no one in their living room, so he went straight to his mother's room. Before reaching his destination, he passed by the library. Its door was open and he heard talking inside. He listened. He knows the voices: his mother and Mrs. Porter. "I don't know why he needs to communicate with me again after the years that passed by." He heard his mom say. Anger was evident in her voice. "What does Roy need? Did he say it?" It was Mrs. Porter's voice. "He wants to meet his child."
Sidhielwas already asleep but Kalyxwas still awake. The room was full of shadows but enough moonlight found its way through the window so he could see Sidhiel'sface in the darkness. Besides, Sidhiel already changed his position in his sleep. He was now facing him. "Nothing could be better than this," Kalyx murmured sleepily. He brought his hand up and ran his knuckles along his husband's cheek. Sidhiellooked so beautiful. He looked so peaceful and contented lying there in Kalyx's arms. Sidhielcares. With that thought, he went to sleep. ***** Sidhiel stared at the masterpiece that he just finished painting. Finally, he was done with the last painting that he will need for the exhibit. He was so happy when he woke up that morning. Kalyx was not in their flat anymore but he left a note, saying that he just has to finish something important and that t
"Oh, my!" Sidhielsaid after his shock. "Have you been there since-?"He cut himself off, feeling a sense of dè jávu. His dialogue was a replay. It also happened before."Got you.. again." Kalyxsaid smiling."Y-you're home early," Sidhiel stated to cover up for his embarrassment."Do I hear disappointment, love? You don't seem happy that I went home early today." Kalyxteased."N-No! I mean, of course, I'm glad that you're early. Are you hungry? Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." He turned around to face the stove."Why are you always barefooted? The floor is cold."Kalyx's obvious concern brought a pleasant fluttering in Sidhiel's heart. Only now did he fully realize how much he missed Kalyx."How was your day? Did you go to Jade's studio? Did you paint?" He felt Kalyxbehind him. He knows because his attention was on him instead of the food he's cooking. Besides, his radar is stro