The small pieces of snow drifted from the night sky, sparkling in the dark like stars. The view outside the window looked so peaceful and calm with only the faint swish of leaves blowing in the chilly wind, humming in the background. The crescent moon looked upon the night, with its aurora fighting off the darkness. I wanted to go outside and take a scrunch of ice in my hands and feel the numbness that would come after the feeling of the chilled needles have subsided. The cold wind would have blown my raven hair as I stood with my eyes closed, as the emptiness around me settles my mind.
This would have been my per
Claustrophobic. A morbid fear of being confined in a closed space. Your breath gets stuck in the throat and the crazy spinning of your head doesn't stop. You feel that the walls are closing upon you and there is no air to breathe no matter how much you try to breathe in. The puffing of your chest increases as an invisible hand chokes your neck. The heavyweight all over your body crumbles you down. The pain in your head which was initially like a small needle pierces your head into two splits. The gruesome nauseous feeling in your stomach buries itself there, six inches deep. The endless screams which come out of the lips don't stop but keepon ringing in your ears, and you wonder why no one can hear you. The black spots in your vision make you blind, and the only thing you feel is pain and panic. You are not dead. You wish you were. Maybe that was what exactly I was feeling when I closed myself in my room, trying to run away from th
Someone was trying to break the wall. I don't know what they were using, but it seemed like a sledgehammer was being pounded from the inside, trying to pierce its way to the outside of the wall. The deep and loud beating of my heart threatened to escape from the cage of muscles as the pounding continued inside my heart. A drop of cold sweat trickled down my spine as my eyes tried to scan through the darkness. The painful squeaks of the wooden floor stopped in front of my closed bedroom door. Seconds ticked by as I laid under the bed, hiding from the unknown monster standing on the other side, waiting for me to make any mistakes. I already did make a mistake. By trusting all of them. The doorknob jingled once, too slowly and quietly to make any audible crack in the thick atmosphere but when the knob didn't turn around to satisfactorily unlock the door, a rage fuelled uproar came from the other side as the person started ramming his body on the
It hurts so much to feel hurt. The slow thudding of her heart threatened to stop forever, while the unshed tears got clogged up where it shouldn't. It felt like a big hole has been punched through her chest, while breathing became impossibly difficult. She wanted to do so many things and by things, she meant possible ways to hurt herself so that the pain she felt inside could be subdued by the pain outside. A million thoughts raced through her head and a million feelings coursed through her blood, making her delirious. Nothing felt right, not even breathing. No matter how much she tried to hold herself together, she always seemed to fall apart like the water slipping through fisted hands. She screamed, she shouted, yet her lips were sealed shut. The darkness around her and the unending agony in her heart blurred her vision until she fell and fell into the bottomless depths of nothingness. ******* My ears
The tiny freckles on my wall never bothered me. I felt that they belonged there. Like a part of a puzzle that doesn't belong there, but it still somehow fits in. It always served as a sweet distraction, whenever my solitude mind and I wanted to stay alone. Sometimes distracting the mind helps you in the long run. I wished I had one now. The shiny, fresh painted wall stared back at me, sporting none of those tiny freckles, I truly felt for. The absence of these tiny things made me realize my perilously wicked fate and this distorted situation. The huge lump of dread smothered down my neck as I stood frozen, under a death hold. My body was drugged into a deep limbo, with my mindset lose like the monster from its cage. The warm breath fanning my neck didn't help defrost the thick layer of dismay and panic off of me, rather it made me recognize my long-forgotten past. They say that time heals everything, but what about scars? They never get away. They never dissolve, and
The dark sky gurgled a huge clash of thunder, while the angry clouds seethed and drowned the whole world in its rage fuelled stream of downpour. There was no ground, only the muddy substitute, which threatened to swallow in anything that steps on it. I wondered how the thorny, leafless trees were holding themselves upright through this damnation. Strong gusts of wind blew all over the surface of the earth and swayed the thorns and spiky bushes as if they were possessed by something evil. This was hell incarnate. Another clash of thunder raged throughout the sky and deafened my ears. The blue sundress I was wearing was torn and tattered, with my skin sporting uncountable scars. The wrathful rain blurred my vision to nothingness as I gasped for the very existence of my life. My raven hair was pitch dark with tiny droplets of water falling off from the ends. I stood there, watching those droplets, while my mind tried to decode this impossible puzzle. How d
The wind blew so hard that it threatened to blow me away in the deep dark waters of the void realm. I felt empty and so did my surroundings. The energy to fight back has already left my soul and there is nothing I can do. I just have to let it happen and hope for hope. The storm of wind kept its lethal swirls immortal in my head and the rain leaked it's way through my puffy eyes as I didn't do anything to save myself from the beast in front of me. His mouth raked my whole neck, biting, sucking, delving itself in my body. Yet Icould not do anything with my pinned hands, held above my head. His rough moans were making my skin crawl while he held a tight grip and tried to make out with me forcefully out of sheer lust and no emotion. I wanted to do what most people would do, ask for help to the one up above yet somehow, I didn't have the will to do so. It was more like I closed my eyes and let the green-eyed demon do whatever he wanted to do to me.
"Lizzie! Lizzie where are you?" The adrenaline coursing through my veins was making me more hysteric than usual. I wanted to find her. I needed to find her. The drawers in the kitchen were haphazardly opened and I took the chance to pick out the sharpest knife I could find. "Lizzie! Where are you? I know you are here. Come on out." My cautious footsteps made the wooden floorboard creak painfully as my eyes darted from one side to the other. Trying to catch any movement. I went to the living room only to find the burnt ashes in the fireplace and an ignored mug of coffee which has been left cold and untouched for what seems like a long time. I stroked the curtain away from the window and tried to look for any signs of life outside but the slowly drifting snow falling on the heaps of unkempt bushes was the only movement visible in the full moon night. The house was awfully quiet and the tension around was so intense that I was unable to f
Have you ever seen yourself in the mirror? From an angle, you have never seen before. The angle which you can't see normally. And wondered... That's me. That's also me. But I don't look like that. That's how I feel. That's how my situation feels. I guess I should not be surprised after all. I am bound to this house, my past, by a red circle and no matter how much I try, I'll be dragged into this red circle again and again even if I run far away. I don't like calling this place home any more because it never was. Home is not the place where you live with your family or friends or relatives. Home is where your heart is and my heart was smashed to clouds of dust in this very place. I don't exactly loathe this place but neither do I want to be here. Undecided and lost, I went towards the kitchen to find nothing but memories. My footsteps were a little too loud for my ears in this piercing silen