7

" More than I have ever been in my life . It isn't easy to live when feeling trapped Valeria . " said Antonia then covered Angelo with the blanket and turned the phone towards her face .

" Valeria........if I were to go through a total change......through a metamorphose.......will you still care about me the same way as you do now ? " said Antonia with a bit of a scared and reluctant tone .

She had lost a lot of dear people to her . She couldn't lose Valeria too .

" Antonia........what are you talking about ? You are making me worry . Are you alright ? " asked Valeria confused .

" I will tell you everything after you answer my question . Will, we still be best friends and care for each other the same way after I change ? " said  Antonia with a serious tone .

" Will you change your heart ? " asked Valeria .

" No , I will change my image . My heart will remain the same.......It will sure feel like a huge burden was lifted from my shoulder . A burden that I had to carry with me from the day I was born . You are my best friend . Apart from my mother , you were the only one who knew everything there was on my mind . " said Antonia with a bitter smile .

When Valeria heard her , she looked at her super shocked . She couldn't believe her ears . She knew what Antonia was thinking pretty well but she still couldn't believe that she would actually do it for real .

" Antonia , you......... " said Valeria shocked .

" Yes ! It's exactly what you are thinking . I intend of doing that . " said Antonia with a serious tone .

" Antonia , it is very dangerous . No ! I don't agree ! You must be confused because of the recent events . Please Antonia , think carefully . " said Valeria .

" Valeria , I am more clear than ever now . I haven't told you because I didn't wanna worry you but............I nearly died when giving birth to Angelo . The doctors and nurses said.............it was a miracle that I survived . " said Antonia making Valeria open her eyes wide in even more shock and worry . 

" Why didn't you tell me ?! You even said to me that everything was fine.......I will come hoem right away . " said Valeria .

" Valeria , I am fone now........the difficulty of giving birth was the bottom line of my endurance . I can't live like this anymore . If I don't break these chains that restrain me , I will gradually die from them.........You are a very dear person to me . I already lost the right to be with my mother but I don't wanna lose you too that's why I told you beforehand.........Please understand me Valeria . " said Antonia with a sad expression .

" I understand you but I never thought that you would arrive at such an extreme decision . Do you realize that you will not only be changing your life completely but also Angelo's life ?!..............Antonia , I am worried about you . " said Valeria .

" Nothing will change Valeria . I will always be me and Angelo will grow up perfectly . " said Antonia .

" What about Axel ? Don't you still love him ?........How can the two of you be together if you....... " said Valeria but Antonia stopped her and started to talk .

" His hurt expression clearly told me that I had let him down . Even though it was Annette's fault that I was raped , I did end up cheating on him physically . I do admit that I still love him but...............I also know that he and I will never have a future together . Not with Angelo's birth . " said Antonia with a bitter smile .

" ..........Tell me the truth Antonia.........Do you wanna do this because you want revenge or because you don't feel comfortable with your current skin ? " asked Valeria , wanting to make sure if Antonia really wanted this because she wanted it and not to use it as a tool for revenge .

" I don't know for certain why but there's something that I am crystal clear about........ " said Antonia then looked at Valeria with a determined expression .

" I was never meant to be a girl . " said Antonia with a serious expression .

When Valeria saw the determined expression of Antonia she smiled helplessly . Since they were children Antonia had suffered a lot just from being a girl . Now that she had taken the courage and determination to put an end to all her problems Valeria couldn't find it in her heart to say no to her . After all , to her Antonia was exactly like her biological sister .

" Alright ! I will always support you , silly . Aren't we besties ? " sad Valeria with a warm smile .

" Thanks, sis ! " said Antonia relieved and happy .

" Just be careful ! Have you found the doctor or should I choose one for you ?  " said Valeria .

" No need ! I already know someone . " said Antonia . 

" Who is he ? " asked Valeria .

" You know him well . he is a talented rich , young , genius surgeon . " said Antonia with a devilish smirk .

Valeria stared at her confused then suddenly the image of the person Antonia was talking about came to mind .

" Are you serious ? Him ?! " said Valeria .

" Yes ! He is very professional and talented . " said Antonia .

" The twin brother of your ex-fiance will perform the change of gender surgery on you . What an unusual and fresh soap opera ! " said Valeria with a serious expression trying to predict future actions . 

" Ha ha ha ha ! If you wish you can turn it into a movie after I become the head of the family . " said Antonia .

" It actually wouldn't be bad . Who knows ! I may end up making a fortune out of it . " said Valeria with her eyes shining and the both of them laughing .

The fact that Valeria was supporting her , already made Antonia feel like everything would turn out for the better after this .

That night a strong storm started . The weather was already becoming colder as it welcomed autumn . Antonia prepared the dinner for her and Alex then put Angelo to sleep . When walking through the corridor , Antonia saw the door of Alex's study opened . She walked towards the study and noticed that it was quite big and comfortable . Antonia saw a new set of surgeon's tools placed on the table and couldn't get her sight away from it . She was so focused on them that she didn't hear the front door open and Alex coming in .

' Haaah ! What a bad weather ! Luckily my files didn't get wet . ' thought Alex as he headed towards his study to place the files to their place .

When he walked towards his study , he was surprised to see the door open .

" Antonia ? " said Alex surprised when he walked inside the study and saw her looking at the surgery tools .

" .....Alex , there's a last favor I wanna ask you .  " said Antonia as she took the mirror in her hands .

" What favor ? " said Alex surprised and confused when he saw her holding the mirror .

Antonia looked at her reflection then turned around and looked at her whole body in the reflection of the big mirror on the wall .

' This body........This feminine body......has become my lifelong prison.........it has caged my soul from the moment it descended down the sky and came to life . My eyes opened and smiled innocently . The innocence never left me and followed me like a shadow in everything I did . I often ask myself if the problem is me or the world that surrounds me ?..........Maybe both . My soul screams for freedom , my heart aches for care , my wisdom is hungry for more while my ego has become a wild beast that has kept growing to a size that no cage can keep it in anymore . Even if it bleeds , even if it hurts , even if it scratches it , nothing can keep it from crashing those chains that keep it locked . The body that forces me to restrain my real abilities...............Why should I continue to suffer like this ?........I am not meant to be a girl . i was never one to begin with . ' thought Antonia and clenched her fists strongly .

" Alex......... " said Antonia then turned towards him with a serious expression .

The dark light of the room , the sound of the fierce raindrops , the storm that had started was so strong that it opened the window behind Antonia . Strong lightning fell from the sky , filling the missing touch in the melody created by the raindrops .

" I want you to turn me into a boy . " said Antonia with a serious tone and expression .

" What ?!!! " said Alex with a shocked expression .

He had known Antonia since she was a baby . All his life , he had never seen her be more serious than she was now . There wasn't even a bit of hesitation in her eyes to make Alex talk back to what she was saying . He himself was from a traditional family just like Antonia but in comparison to her , he was lucky enough to be born a boy .

" You can never understand why I have arrived at such a decision . You were born a boy . You were born free. The more I stay in this female body , the more suffocated I will feel . " said Antonia when seeing the confused look in his eyes .

" Antonia , you........ " said Alex but she interrupted him .

" Alex , I have said everything I needed to say . I know you may feel shocked but this is the truth . I had thought about this and was determined to go through with it but then I met your brother and fell in love . This isn't something I have decided on a whim . I had decided on it before I met your brother . I am not speaking nonsense . " said Antonia looking at Alex's confused and surprised expression .

" .........I won't ask anything nor will I suggest anything . I just want to say..........Are you sure about your decision ? " said Alex , calming down his shocked expression .

" .....I have never been so sure about anything in my life Alex . I want to be a boy . I want to stop living for others and live for myself . If I continue to stay like this..........I will die from suffocation Alex . " said Antonia desperately .

Alex looked at Antonia and placed his hand on her shoulder . Although it sounded like a stupid , crazy decision in his ears , he knew that Antonia would never ask for anything unless she truly wanted it . The only thing that he could help her with now was fulfilling the first favor she had ever asked him . 

" If you have made up your mind , I will support you . I have never seen you so serious before .  " said Alex with a smile .

Antonia looked at him with a smile then hugged him .

" Thank you Alex..... " said Antonia with a smile and hugged him .

" I will make sure the operation finishes quickly but it will need some time until you can change completely . " said Alex .

" It's alright ! I have time . " said Antonia smiling .

" He he he ! I have never seen you so happy before . It's quite nice . " said Alex .

" I am very happy , indeed . The two people I care about the most are supporting my decision . Why wouldn't I be happy ? " said Antonia smiling .

" The two people you care about ?.......I know one is me but who's the other one ? " said Alex confused as he rushed to close the window tightly so it wouldn't open again .

" Angelo's godmother . " said Antonia .

" Angelo's godmother........Who ? " said Alex still confused .

" My best friend and sis Valeria . You know her . " said Antonia .

" She ?.......Are you sure you are alright cause now I am seriously starting to question whether you have a fever or not . How can you make Valeria the godmother of your kid ?! She is a kid herself . She isn't responsible and doesn't act her age at all. " said Alex annoyed and troubled . 

" Valeria helped me a lot during the time I was pregnant . If it weren't for her , I wouldn't be able to keep calm and get through this pregnancy . " said Antonia with a smile .

" Haaaah ! Fine , fine ! She has contributed to little buddy's safety while he was inside your tummy . Perfect counterattack . Where is she now ? " said Alex .

" In Paris ! Her career is blooming nicely . She has become a well-known designer there . She will be back soon . " said Antonia .

: In Paris........She must have driven their company crazy by now . Both of you are alike in this sector . " said Alex .

After they came to an agreement about the surgery , they went to the kitchen to eat dinner and went to sleep with tired expressions on their faces . Alex is tired from work while Antonia is tired from taking care of Angelo .

Given the fact that Antonia had just recently given birth , she had to rest first until her body was able to sustain the surgery . They waited for six months to pass so that Antonia's body could be perfectly healthy and strong to handle the surgery successfully .