Chapter 2

The cold, mechanical voice responded immediately: [Departure channel preparing. Countdown: three days.]

When the black cloth was pulled from my head, Alaric was already sitting in front of me. He reached over and tucked the blanket around me, slipping back into his usual gentle manner.

"You frightened the children last night. Tomorrow, you'll go to them as the Regent's wife and smooth things over."

I forced myself upright and followed his gaze toward the side room. In the corner stood a finely crafted rocking horse.

Alaric had made it himself, working through the night in the woodshop while I was pregnant with our first. When Teddy had 'died', I cried until my eyes were raw. Alaric held me and told me he had burned the rocking horse as an offering for our lost child.

Now here it stood. The paint on the handles had been worn smooth from years of small hands gripping it. My eldest son had been riding it as he grew up.

I still remembered Alaric pressing his ear against my swollen belly, grinning as he felt the baby kick.

"Our child's going to say 'Mommy' first. You've suffered the most. If he says 'Daddy' first, I'll tan his little backside."

Yet now, when my Teddy called for Mommy, it was never me he meant.

"Don't forget to have the gifts ready."

With that, Alaric left the room.

The next morning, four small figures were led into the main hall by the governess.

I fought through the dragging pain in my abdomen and brought out the lockets I had made for each of my "lost" children. I had engraved their names on the front myself, the ones I had chosen for them.

I held one out to Teddy. He recoiled as though I had offered him something poisonous and knocked the locket from my hand.

"Get that away from me! Mommy said everything in your room is meant for dead people!"

The gold locket clattered against the stone floor. I stood frozen.

Rosie was the youngest of the four. She saw what her brother had done and copied him without hesitation, snatching a locket off the ground and hurling it into the blazing fireplace.

"Mommy says you're a cursed, awful woman!"

My head filled with a deafening ring. I lunged for the fireplace and thrust my bare hand into the burning coals.

Skin hissed against the coals, and the stench of burning flesh filled the room.

I closed my fingers around the red-hot locket and held on.

Alaric came striding in, his face draining of color. He shoved me aside, pulled the terrified children into his arms, and covered their eyes.

"Get the physician in here to treat the burns! Now!" he barked the order at the servants.

Odette hurried in right behind him, grabbed Teddy, and made a show of smacking his palm.

"How could you be so rude to Her Grace? Is this what I taught you?"

All four children's eyes went red the moment they heard the reprimand. Convinced that I was the reason their brother was being punished, they rushed at me with their small fists swinging.

"You're horrible! Every time you show up, Mommy yells at us! Get out!"

They shoved me and I fell to the floor. The tearing sensation in my abdomen nearly stole the air from my lungs.

Mother stepped forward and gathered the children. She let out a quiet sigh.

"Laurel, they've known Odette as their mother for seven years. Seven years of that bond is not something you can buy back with a few lockets. If you truly want what's best for them, you'll stop forcing this."

Father gave a cold scoff. "Have you forgotten that Odette ruined her health saving you from drowning all those years ago? You can still bear children. Show some grace and stop trying to take away the only thing she has."

'You can still bear children.' Those words sent my abdomen into violent spasms.

I had given birth five times, and every single time the sheets were soaked through with blood and the pain made me wish I would just die.

Every time I woke, I was told the baby had not survived. Every time, Alaric held me with reddened eyes and told me not to think about the child. He told me that I still had him.

My vision darkened, and I collapsed where I stood.

…

Late that night, Alaric pushed the door open while carrying a bottle of ointment. He sat at the edge of the bed, drew my bandaged hand toward him, and unwound the cloth with careful fingers.

"Does it hurt?"

Before I could answer, his hands kept working, but his voice dropped lower.

"Laurel, don't blame Odette. All you did was give birth. You don't know the first thing about raising them."

He sprinkled the powder over the wound without looking up. The sting made my whole body tremble.

"She hasn't slept through a single night in seven years, looking after those four. She's done more than you ever did as a mother who only gave birth and never raised a single one of them."

I clenched my teeth and watched in silence as he finished wrapping my hand.

When the house was still, I dragged my failing body out of bed and walked for the first time to the memorial tower on the hill behind the estate. It was the one place I had never dared go.

I made my way to the altar and lifted the lid of the urn with trembling hands. I reached inside, rubbed the contents between my fingers, and laughed softly.

The laughter turned to tears that fell into the flour, clumping into dull paste.

There had never been any ashes. A handful of flour had fooled me for seven years.

I dragged my legs back to my room, each one heavy as lead. The moment I stepped through the door, I crumpled to the floor. A violent fever swept through me within seconds.

Inside my mind, the System spoke, toneless as ever: [Countdown: two days.]