CHAPTER 4: YES WE FUCKING

CHAPTER 4: YES WE FUCKING

ANNA’S POV

“Annaaa—” Ella’s voice sang from down the hallway.

I jumped like I’d been caught stealing, my eyes darted to the paper on my lap, the two lines that could destroy my entire life. Heart hammering, I folded it quickly and dropped to my knees, shoving the paper deep under Ella’s bed, right beside old shoeboxes and forgotten clothes.

Please don’t ever find this, I'll come to get you soon. I stared at the paper one last time before finally sliding it in deeper.

I was barely back on my feet when Ella bounced into the room with two cold bottles of water.

“Here,” she tossed one to me. “Did you finish your list? Let me see how wild you actually are.”

My knees almost gave up on me and I swear I could have died from high BP or a heart attack “Umm… I’m still thinking,” I muttered, forcing a smile.

She shrugged. “Come on, let’s go downstairs. My mom said we could use the living room and William's is waiting downstairs"

My stomach did a weird flip.

I followed her down the stairs, legs still a little shaky. The moment we entered the living room, the twist in my gut got worse. William was sitting on the big couch like he owned the place, legs spread wide, one arm resting along the back and for the first time in forever I noticed a tattoo on his right hand.

Ella immediately dropped beside him and curled into his side. “Babe, Anna’s helping me with homework. You don’t mind, right?”

“Nah, I’m good,” he said, but his eyes flicked to me for a second longer than normal or maybe I was imagining it. I definitely was imagining things.

I sat on the single chair across from them and tried to focus on Ella’s biology notes. It was impossible. Every time she laughed at something William whispered in her ear, every time his hand rested on her thigh, that familiar bitterness crawled under my skin.

This is why you wrote that list, idiot.

Almost an hour passed by while I kept pretending to explain mitosis while secretly throwing side eye at the way William’ fingers traced lazy circles on Ella’s leg. My throat felt tight and I couldn't hear myself.

Suddenly Ella sat up straighter. “Oh! I completely forgot to tell you.” She turned to me with bright eyes and leaned in closer, lowering her voice “I’m throwing a party this Friday. My parents are traveling for the weekend, so the house is ours. It’s going to be insane music, pool, drinks, everything you could think of”

She grinned and nudged William. “Right, babe?”

He nodded, smirking. “Yeah. It’s gonna be wild.”

Ella leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands. “You have to come, Anna. No excuses this time. You’ve never even been to a proper party before. This is senior year! You can’t keep hiding in your room with your books and your… whatever.”

My cheeks warmed. She made it sound like I was some pathetic little nun.

“I don’t know…” I started.

“Pleaseee,” she dragged the word, giving me her best puppy eyes. “It’ll be fun. You can even bring that new energy from your Victor dream. Who knows? Maybe you’ll finally cross something off your bucket list.”

William’ eyebrows rose slightly, but he stayed quiet.

Ella didn’t wait for my answer. She reached over and squeezed my hand. “You’re coming. That’s final. I’ll even help you pick an outfit. Something hot that screams A-N-N-A.”

I swallowed hard. The thought of going to my first real party with loud music, drunk people, and William being there made me just want to hug her and jump with one leg “Okay,” I said softly. “I’ll come.”

Ella squealed and hugged me. William just watched me with that unreadable look again, the corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

As Ella started listing all the people she was inviting, my mind kept drifting back to the folded paper hidden under her bed upstairs.

“Um babe…can I use your bathroom”

My eyes flew open. “Maybe you should use the one downstairs,” I blurted out before I could stop myself. “It’s… umm… better.”

Both of them turned to look at me. Ella gave me a weird, suspicious frown.

“It’s fine, Anna,” she said slowly. “He can use the one in my room.”

My breathing turned shaky as I watched William head up the stairs. The second he disappeared from view, I started counting backwards in my head like an idiot, just to stop myself from chewing my finger nails off.

Seventy three… seventy four… seventy five…

“Babe! Looks like you’re out of toilet paper!” William called as he walked down the stairs

I slapped a hand over my mouth and sank back into the couch, heart hammering against my ribs.

Phew.

He came back down a few minutes later like nothing happened and I spent the rest of the evening forcing smiles, helping clear dishes with Ella and her mom, and trying not to look guilty.

When Mrs. Henderson finally offered me a ride home, I almost cried with relief and William had already left.

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Henderson.” I slammed the car door and waved at Ella through the window. “I’ll text you!”

The moment I stepped into my own house, I kicked the door shut, sprinted upstairs, and collapsed face first onto my bed. My shoes flew off and I grabbed my phone, trying to distract myself.

Assignment…check.

Help plan Ella’s party… check.

I stared at the ceiling for too long. My heart started drumming again, faster and faster. What the heck was I missing?

“ Oh my God, the bucket list!”