Rebirth

I once heard heaven was a day behind Earth. So when my alarm rang singing the special song I chose for the 5th of may, I thought I was rewarded with heaven for my unfair death. I let myself drift off again, until I woke up to an intense burning sensation on my leg. Sunlight slipped through the curtains in thin lines and landed on my blanket. The same blanket I’d had since I was ten. My blue blanket that was frayed at the corner where I used to pick at it during nightmares. This was not heaven, I was back at home. Before I could process the thought, I heard my name,

 

“Elera?”

 

The door opened.

 

My mother walked in with a dress draped over her arms. White silk. The corset laced tight. The one I wore to the selection party. She smiled like nothing was wrong. Like my world hadn’t ended 12 hours ago.

 

“Morning, sleepyhead. You missed breakfast. The seamstress finished the hem last night. Try it on before we do your hair?”

 

Her scream from last night replayed in my head, and I covered my ears.

 

“Were we perhaps rewarded with heaven?”

 

She blinked her eyes in confusion

 

“Yesterday,” I whispered. “What happened yesterday?”

 

She frowned, looking more confused.

 

“Nothing, dear. You practiced your posture all evening. You said your feet hurt from the glass plates.”

 

“No, the selection”

 

She smiled widely

 

“You have just a few hours before your selection,”

 

she said as she lay the dress on my bed. “You’ll be beautiful. Darius will see it.”

 

What was going on? I slid off the bed and ran to my calendar. I was fast. The burning sensation seemed to have disappeared.

 

5th of May.

 

I almost screamed as my feet moved on their own.  Was this some kind of dream? Yesterday was the 5th day of May, the selection I waited for my whole life. I ran into Arden on my way down, and he called after me in his usual rude tone.

 

“Watch it!”

 

From behind, I saw my father seated on the one seater couch, he wore his glasses and was watching the news.

 

I finally stopped running. Arden was alive, my parents too. Even if it was a dream I wanted it to last forever. I pressed a hand to my mouth in an attempt to hold back my sob.

 

“Elera?”

 

He turned to the back,

 

“What are you doing here dressed in that?”

 

I looked down at myself. I was wearing my small pink night dress, Darius got it for me when I was ten, and I couldn’t get over it. At the thought of Darius, bile rose to my throat and I ran to the bathroom. Bile from the selection day poured through my mouth as I emptied my stomach.

 

It wasn’t a dream, I was at the selection yesterday. But my parents didn’t seem to remember.

 

I sat on my chair staring into the mirror. I needed clarification on what was happening. I knew yesterday wasn’t a dream. I had died. I watched them die. Arden’s body hit the ground, my mother screamed. I saw my father hit the ground. The memory was vivid. But then, we were back at home, watching TV and calling names like nothing had happened.

 

None of it made sense.

 

My mother came up behind me. She touched my shoulder gently,

 

“You are pale, do you feel sick?”

 

I turned to her. Her eyes were bright. Her hair was loose from her braid like she always wore it on fitting days. She was alive, and for a minute that was all that mattered. Not the how or why.

 

It didn’t matter how. Maybe what mattered most was what I’d do now. Maybe the god wasn’t asleep. Perhaps, he gave me the one thing I begged for with my last breath.

 

If this was a second chance, I wouldn’t let yesterday happen again.

 

I forced a smile.

 

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

 

“You’re nervous,” she said, relief flooding her face.

 

“Every girl is. Darius will be kind. He’s always liked you.”

 

Liked me enough to reject me in front of the whole pack.

 

I nodded. “Yes. He likes me.”

 

Her smile widened. “Go put the dress on. I’ll call the maid for your hair.”

 

In the mirror, I looked the same. My hair, my eyes. Even the scar on my collarbone.

 

I had to confirm this wasn’t an illusion. I took out my phone and called Ginny.

 

“Elera!”

 

Her tiny voice filled my phone and I couldn’t help but remember her words from the day before.

 

“Ginny, hi”

 

“Congratulations” She beamed.

 

She didn’t seem to have any memory of the rejection. Perhaps it was indeed a second chance.

 

“Thanks, I haven’t even been chosen yet”

 

“We all know it would be you though”

 

I immediately hung up the call. I had a chance to change the past and I was determined to. All day, I replayed his lines in my head and practiced what I’d say. I spoke to Darius, just the exact way he did a few minutes before he had betrayed me.

 

Dusk rose and I walked about my room in anxiety. When the moon sat up high in the sky. I laced my corset tight and did my hair swiftly. Darius will be ready to break me in front of everyone.

 

This time I’d break him first.

 

My mother grinned from ear to ear and my father tried to keep his excitement in check. The carriage ride was silent. My parents sat across from me. My father kept glancing at me like he knew something was off.

 

“You’re quiet,”

 

“I’m thinking,” I answered.

 

It wasn’t a lie. All I could think about was the arrow that pierced his heart. About the order Darius gave. About the war that started because I begged.

 

The hall rose ahead of us. The white stone was glowing under the moon. It was just the same as yesterday. My father extended his hands,

 

“Are you ready?”

 

I nodded and followed behind him into the hall. I would save them all this time, no matter the cost.