WHAT WREN SAID

CHAPTER 33

I couldn't stop replaying Elder Wren's words.

He buried one mate already grieving what he couldn't protect. Think carefully about what you're asking him to risk a second time.

Was it a warning about Roman's fear?

Or a threat about what might happen to me?

"Miss Vale?"

I blinked.

A young pack member stood in the kitchen doorway, holding a tray.

"Sorry. What?"

"Tea or coffee?"

"Tea, please."

"I asked you twice."

Embarrassment warmed my cheeks. "I'm sorry. It's been a long morning."

She gave me a polite smile and left.

I stared at the empty doorway, barely registering the footsteps passing in the corridor.

Down the hall, Roman's study door stood half open.

I started toward it, stopped, and turned toward the stairs instead.

A runner intercepted me at the landing.

"Message from the council clerk, Miss Vale. The relocation motion has been formally rejected. You'll remain in the east wing."

"Thank you."

"Good news, isn't it?"

"Yes." I forced a smile. "Very good."

He hurried away.

I waited for relief to arrive.

It never did.

"You look like someone just died."

I turned.

Tessa leaned against the banister, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm tired."

"No, you're not."

"I am."

"You've read the same page of that book three times." She pointed at the volume in my hand. "And you're holding it upside down."

I looked down.

She was right.

"Fine," I muttered. "It's been a day."

"The council voted against relocating you. Nobody's locking you away. So why do you look like you're waiting for the next disaster?"

"It's over. That's the point."

"Mira."

"Tessa, please."

"Not a chance." She stepped away from the banister. "Did Roman say something?"

"No."

"Did someone from the council?"

"No."

Her expression sharpened.

"Wren."

I said nothing.

Tessa's jaw tightened. "What did she tell you?"

"Nothing important."

"Then you won't mind repeating it."

I stared at the floor.

"She said Roman had already lost one mate and was still grieving what he couldn't protect. She told me to think carefully about what I was asking him to risk a second time."

Silence.

Then Tessa swore under her breath.

I'd never heard her sound quite so angry.

"She waited until everyone had left, didn't she?"

I looked up.

"She waited until Roman was out of the room," Tessa continued. "He stood in front of the entire council and fought for you. Then she found you alone and made his grief your responsibility."

"Maybe she was trying to warn me."

"Maybe. But a warning can still be a weapon."

I folded my arms, suddenly cold.

"Roman lost someone he loved. He couldn't save her. What if every time he looks at me, he's afraid of failing again? What if that's all this is?"

"Is it?"

"I don't know."

"Neither do I." Tessa's anger softened, but her gaze remained steady. "I'm not going to pretend I know what's in Roman's heart. But I know you, Mira. You're already finding reasons to leave before anyone has asked you to stay."

"I'm not leaving."

"Not with your feet, perhaps."

I looked away.

She stepped closer.

"You're doing it in your head. You're deciding that you should disappear because you might become a burden. That way, if he ever lets you go, you can tell yourself you made the decision first."

My throat tightened.

"I don't want to hurt him."

"And you think withdrawing without telling him why won't hurt?"

I had no answer.

Tessa sighed.

"Listen to me. Being afraid for someone isn't the same as loving them only because they need saving. You can't decide what Roman feels by imagining the worst possible explanation."

"What if I ask him and hate the answer?"

"Then at least you'll know the truth."

"And if the truth changes everything?"

"It already has." Her voice was gentle. "The question is whether you want to face it with him or keep letting other people decide what it means."

She left me with that.

For the next few hours, I tried to occupy myself with anything that didn't involve Roman.

It didn't work.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his expression when Wren threatened to have me removed from the estate. I remembered how quickly he'd defended me, how he'd nearly lost his temper, and how he'd listened when I asked him to stop.

He'd chosen to trust me at that moment.

But did that mean he wanted me?

Or did he simply feel responsible for me?

By afternoon, I still hadn't found an answer.

I found Roman in the corridor, speaking with two guards near the east wing.

"Mira."

He excused himself and fell into step beside me.

"The clerk confirmed the decision. You're staying here. No one will move you to the western facility."

"I heard. Thank you."

"I've doubled the guards around the east wing, and Bram has additional patrols covering the northern boundary."

"Good."

He glanced at me.

"You haven't asked about the investigation."

"I trust you to handle it."

The answer came too quickly.

His expression changed.

"Are you angry about the council?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm tired."

"You said that this morning."

"Because I was tired this morning."

"Mira."

He stopped walking.

I stopped, too, though every instinct told me to keep going.

"Did someone say something to you?"

My throat tightened.

For one reckless second, I considered telling him everything.

Then I imagined his face changing. His grief rose between us like a wall. The possibility that I'd made a mistake by believing there could be something real between us.

"No," I said. "I'm fine. I need to rest."

He studied me, clearly unconvinced.

But he didn't force the answer out of me.

"All right," he said quietly. "I'll be here when you're ready to talk."

I walked away before I could change my mind.

I didn't rest.

By evening, I found myself in the garden, sitting on the cold stone bench where Roman and I had once sat together beneath the moon.

I should have chosen somewhere else.

"I've been looking for you."

I closed my eyes briefly.

Of course he had.

"I wanted some air."

"You've wanted air all day."

His footsteps stopped a few paces behind me.

"You've been avoiding me, Mira."

"I haven't."

"You have." His voice held no accusation, only quiet certainty. "You've answered every question with one or two words. You haven't asked about the investigation. And when I asked what was wrong, you looked at me as though you were afraid of the answer."

I laced my fingers together.

"Roman"

"I'm not asking about the council. I'm asking about you."

I stared at the garden path.

"It's nothing."

He came around the bench and crouched in front of me, close enough that I had to look at him.

"Mira, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong."

"Then look at me and tell me that."

I lifted my eyes.

I couldn't say it.

Something in his expression softened.

"I'm trying to understand," he said. "I know I don't always get it right. But I don't want you to feel as though you have to hide from me whenever something hurts."

I looked down at my hands.

"Wren spoke to me after the vote."

His expression hardened.

"What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It matters if it's made you look at me like this."

"I don't want to hurt you."

He reached for my hands, covering them with his own.

"You're not protecting me by staying silent. You're shutting me out."

The words landed harder than I expected.

I drew a shaky breath.

"She said you had already lost someone you loved. She said you were still grieving what you couldn't protect, and that I should think carefully about what I was asking you to risk a second time."

Roman went very still.

The change was small, but I saw it.

His face paled. His fingers tightened around mine before he seemed to realize what he was doing.

For a moment, he couldn't look at me.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I know Lyra was"

"Stop."

"I didn't mean to"

"Mira, stop."

He lifted his eyes.

They were raw, but there was no anger in them.

"You didn't hurt me by telling me what she said. Don't apologize for asking me to face something difficult."

"But your face"

"My face is my responsibility. Not yours."

He swallowed, then drew a slow breath.

"Tell me what you really want to ask."

I stared at our joined hands.

He'd seen straight through me.

"Does protecting me feel like something you have to do?"

His breath caught.

I watched the question reach him, watched him understand that I wasn't asking about the guards or the eastern wing.

I was asking whether I mattered to him beyond the danger surrounding me.

Whether he saw me as a woman he wanted, or as another person he couldn't bear to lose.

"That's not a small question," he said.

"I know."

"It deserves a real answer."

"I know that, too."

He didn't look away, but something in his expression grew guarded.

"I can't give you all of that answer tonight."

My heart sank.

"All of what?"

He was silent.

The space between us seemed to widen, even though his hands still held mine.

"Roman."

He looked at me.

"Are you afraid of losing me?"

The garden fell quiet.

For a moment, I heard nothing but the faint rustle of leaves and the distant movement of guards beyond the hedges.

Roman didn't look away this time.

"Yes," he said.

The single word hurt more than I expected.

He saw it in my face.

"But not for the reason you're thinking."

I struggled to breathe normally.

"Then what reason should I be thinking of?"

He looked down at our hands, his thumb moving once across my knuckles.

"When Lyra died, I spent years believing that if I'd been stronger, faster, or less willing to trust the wrong people, I could have changed what happened."

His voice remained controlled, but the pain beneath it was unmistakable.

"I turned that belief into a rule. If someone mattered to me, I had to keep them safe. If I couldn't, it meant I'd fail them."

He raised his eyes to mine.

"And when you came into my life, I recognized that fear before I understood anything else."

My chest tightened.

"So Wren was right."

"About my fear? Yes." His jaw flexed. "About what it means? No."

He shifted closer, his hands still wrapped around mine.

"I don't want you to stay because you think leaving would destroy me. I don't want you to believe you owe me affection because I protect you. And I will never ask you to carry the blame for what happened to Lyra."

"Then why are you afraid of losing me?"

His expression changed.

"Because somewhere along the way, you stopped being someone I was responsible for and became someone I wanted beside me."

My breath caught.

He continued before I could speak.

"I don't know everything this connection between us means. I don't know what the bond is asking of us, or what your Moonborn blood will reveal next. But I know the thought of you disappearing from my life frightens me for reasons that have nothing to do with my duty as Alpha."

His thumb brushed my knuckles again.

"I can't promise I'll never be afraid. I can't promise I won't make mistakes. But I won't turn my fear into a cage for you."

I searched his face, looking for the hesitation that would tell me he was saying what I needed to hear rather than what he believed.

I didn't find an easy answer.

I found a man trying to give me an honest one.

"And if I choose to stay?" I whispered.

His gaze held mine.

"Then I want it to be because you want me, Mira. Not because you're afraid of what leaving might do to me."

My eyes burned.

"And if I don't know what I want yet?"

"Then you take the time you need."

He said it without hesitation.

No demand. No threat. No attempt to make my decision for me.

Somehow, that frightened me more than if he'd begged me to stay.

Because it meant he was giving me a choice.

And I was beginning to understand how much it would cost me to make one.

I drew a slow breath.

"I don't want to be your second chance to save someone."

His expression tightened.

"You're not."

"Then don't treat me like one."

"I won't."

"Even if I'm in danger?"

"Even then."

"Even if you're terrified?"

His silence lasted a heartbeat.

"Especially then."

I looked at him for a long moment.

Then I tightened my fingers around his.

"I don't want to leave," I admitted. "But I'm scared of what happens if I stay."

His shoulders eased slightly.

"So am I."

For the first time that day, the honesty between us felt less like a threat and more like a place we could stand together.

He lifted one of my hands and pressed his lips to my knuckles.

The gesture was gentle, almost hesitant.

It made my heart ache.

"I can't tell you that loving me will be easy," he said.

I froze.

Loving me.

He seemed to realize what he'd said at the same moment I did.

His eyes met mine, and neither of us moved.

Then he spoke again, quieter this time.

"But I can promise that I won't use my grief to decide what you mean to me."

I searched his face.

"Did you just say"

A howl shattered the silence.

It came from beyond the northern boundary.

Not the familiar call of a Blackthorn patrol.

This one was lower, longer, and answered by another howl farther away.

Roman rose so quickly that my hand slipped from his.

His expression changed instantly. The tenderness vanished, replaced by the alert, controlled focus of the Alpha.

A guard appeared at the garden entrance.

"Alpha! Bram has found something near the creek."

Roman's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"The scout's trail. It doesn't end where we thought."

He glanced at me, then toward the northern darkness.

"Where does it lead?"

The guard swallowed.

"Back toward the estate."

My blood turned cold.

Roman reached for my hand again, but this time neither of us mistook the gesture for an answer to every question between us.

Whatever waited beyond the garden, our choices would have to survive it.

And somewhere in the darkness, the wolf who had been watching me had left us a trail.