Want freedom

The clock was striking to midnight and an hour had passed by since the horrific moment, yet I couldn't get any sleep.

My body trembled beneath the cold sheets, each tick of the second hand sounding louder than the last, like a cruel reminder that time was moving while I remained stuck in that same place of pain and disbelief.

I wasn't going to.

Sleep felt like a betrayal. A surrender.

I felt pain.

It wasn't just physical. It was deeper, tangled within every nerve and thought. The ache in my chest throbbed with every breath, my lungs burning from holding back sobs I refused to release.

My body felt lifeless as I lay sprawled across the pillow top mattress. The plush comfort of it mocked my suffering. Darkness surrounded me, thick and still, pressing against my skin like a second layer. It left me nervous yet curious of my whereabouts. Where am I?

I was in an unknown room. The walls were unfamiliar bare, cold, and painted in a shade of gray that made the air feel heavier. The only objects that I could notice were the bed and the single window which allowed a gleam of light to shine through. Dust floated lazily in the moonbeam, dancing like memories I didn’t want to recall.

I looked at the moon. Its crooked smile seemed to be taunting me. My eyebrows knitted in anger, resentment boiling beneath the surface.

I was in pain, both physically and mentally.

A relentless, gnawing kind of pain. It wasn’t just bruises or cuts. It was betrayal, humiliation, and something even darkersomething I didn’t have a name for.

Throughout my years of living, what Alpha ordered was the most horrific thing I had ever faced. Yes, I have been getting punishments and my body heals faster, but this time I felt betrayed. And it was so paining.

I had endured lashings before, starvation, mockery but nothing like this. This wasn’t just about pain it was about being broken in a way that couldn’t heal overnight.

The moment the guard put me on the bed in this room, my body started healing, but mentally I wasn’t.

My thoughts were a mess, swirling like a storm with no eye, no center. I couldn’t find solid ground to stand on.

Memories were flowing in my head.

Unstoppable. Each one cutting deeper.

Everything about the mate the moon goddess chose for me.

Fate. What a cruel, heartless thing.

I knew him ever since I was born as an omega. I used to watch the way my fellow omegas were treated.

Like they were nothing. Less than nothing.

During that time, the Alpha's cruelty had no limits. Three years ago, a she-wolf found her mate in the Druid Pack. She begged Alpha to release her. But he hated her mate, so he told her the price of her freedom was her innocence.

I had never forgotten the look in her eyes when she was dragged to his chambers. I didn’t even know her name, but her scream still haunted my dreams.

She had to give herself to him, to do whatever he wanted with her body, no matter how vile or degrading or painful it was just so that he could enjoy the sadistic pleasure of damaging her beyond repair and leaving her mate to deal with the fallout.

He has always been ruthless since I was a child and currently, to make matters worse, the moon goddess chose him as my mate.

The same man. The same monster.

Throughout the years, he didn’t have a mate, but he had whores he always slept with.

He was never short of willing bodies. Some were desperate for his attention. Others, just scared.

Currently, he had some bitch called Calla.

An image of him making love and fucking her hard invaded my thoughts. Thoughts of Calla and me being his mate made me feel more pain. The pain was crippling. I hunched forward and panted, pushing the horrible reality out of my brain.

My stomach twisted, bile rising. My fingernails dug into the sheets, knuckles white with tension.

"Shit!" I gasped when I heard the door being opened out of the blue. I didn't bother raising my head to see who had entered the room. I could smell him already.

The thick scent of cedarwood, musk, and power. It coiled around me like a chain.

"What are you doing here?"

"Have you come to take me back to the cell?" I asked without turning to look at him.

"Be careful of the way you talk to me," he snarled.

"And what makes you think you are going back there? Just because you aren't in the cells, doesn't mean you aren't a prisoner here," he added, then I heard his footsteps heading toward me.

Each step sounded deliberate, like a predator closing in.

Just hearing his footsteps made my heart beat faster than before.

"Get up, the doctor wants to meet you," he spoke.

"Wait, what?" I asked, kind of surprised. What the hell was he really speaking about? It was already late in the night to be taken to the hospital.

"Yes, I have to make sure you're healthy."

"Why wouldn't I be? Don't I look healthy?" I spread my hands around. I definitely wasn't dying anytime soon, even though I was punished to hell and my insides were working just perfectly fine.

"Don't tell me your nonsense." Before I could reply, he gripped my hand and yanked me out of the room.

His grip was rough, bruising. My feet barely kept up, dragging along the cold floor.

When I said that the Alpha was ruthless, I meant it, and the next thing I knew, I was in a doctor's office. It was night, but he didn’t care at all.

The room was sterile, white, and painfully bright. The lights stung my eyes after being in the dark so long.

It was a long hour at the doctor's office. The woman working there checked everything my weight, my wolf, my teeth, my hair, my blood, and she even went ahead and pushed a cold object inside me. After torturing me for an hour, she began with her questions while the Alpha stood beside me, eager to know the answers.

His presence loomed, suffocating.

"Have you ever been pregnant before?"

"No." I furrowed my brows together at the sound of that question. She clearly saw me from down there.

The same, unusual kind of questions continued for another hour. She asked about my family history, whether we had any sickness or illness in our blood, my menstrual cycle, my alcohol or smoking habits, whether I was on any drugs or not.

Each answer I gave felt like I was handing over pieces of myself. Vulnerabilities, secrets. Things I never wanted them to know.

"Well, everything seems clear to me. We will wait for the blood tests to return and then we can confirm that she's perfectly healthy." The doctor said to the Alpha instead of me. She tucked away a few papers and brought a few more forward. "Her family history is clear of any diseases as well. Although..." Her head turned to me, and I knew what was coming. "You told me that you don't have your father, how did he die again?"

I studied her face for a moment. I had been answering her politely during the first minutes, but now I was irritated.

"He was killed. I've mentioned that twice already." I snapped at her.

"Oh, yes, the attack of the rogues." She stopped blabbering for a second and then continued. "Did that leave you with any kind of trauma?"

"No," I retorted angrily.

All right. Everything's good then. We should be able to see something in the following month or so." She gave me a warm smile while patting the papers above her desk.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. She meant pregnancy, but to hell with her.

The word itself made my stomach churn.

I would have replied to her, but I was feeling weak and tired already.

My bones ached with exhaustion. My soul, even more so.

I never even agreed to getting checked up and getting my holes examined. But, it was already done and I was simply glad everything came out normal.

The moment the Alpha knew that, he said okay then marched out.

He left me sitting in the chair, not forgetting to bang the door pretty hard before he left.

It shook the frame. A final reminder of who held the power.

The doctor only gave me a sad smile, but I glared at her and also went to my new temporary room.

I didn’t want her pity. I didn’t want her concern. I wanted freedom. I wanted peace.

And tonight, I had neither.