I don't hate you

Clearly bothered, I leaned against the bed's headboard and stared up at the ceiling. The worn wooden beams above offered no comfort, no answers, just a dull emptiness that mirrored the restlessness swirling in my chest.

Times like this I began to wish I was a human. Heat? It would just be a thought rather than my actuality. The random sex cravings? A thing of the past. I would be that normal person living in the real world. A world without the thought of my kind.

A world without a mate who loathed the very sight of me.

I sighed out. My skin cringed when my mind began to replay my dream. Such vivid images played in my head. Each scene ignited a fire inside of me, leaving me warm and anxious.

My thighs clenched unconsciously, a heat rising that had nothing to do with the room's temperature. I was spiraling. Fast.

"No." I leaped to my feet. In desperate need to clear my head of such foolery, I decided to get out of this room. Get out of this house.

The walls felt like they were closing in anyway, trapping me with my thoughts and the shame that came with them.

I need to run. The Alpha refused me everything but he didn’t talk about running in the trees.

At least he hadn’t taken that from me yet.

I slipped on a graphic tee and a pair of pink shorts before I walked out of my room. The bare halls were quiet so the last thing I wanted was to disturb anyone.

Even the silence seemed to hold its breath around here, afraid to stir whatever darkness lingered behind closed doors.

Creeping as if I was walking on egg shells, I took to the back door of the house and slid on to the glass opening. Fresh air hit me like a whirl wind, sending my inner wolf in frenzy of excitement and anxiousness. Desperate to explore, I slipped off my shirt and shifted out of my shorts.

The cool night kissed every inch of my skin, the moonlight draping over my form like a silver veil.

I began running, allowing the cool air of the night to dance against my thick fur. Stride after stride, my paws dug into the dirt for better grip as I took off into the darkness.

Trees blurred around me, tall and watchful, as the wind howled in my ears like a song I had long forgotten. I ran like I was chasing freedom, or maybe trying to outrun my own shame.

I adored this. The fresh air and freedom to run without the fear of being seen by a neighbor. The seclusion of the home made everything feel so much better.

No eyes. No whispers. No judgment. Just me, the forest, and the beating of my own heart.

My body became tired from such an intense run so I slowed my pace down to a walk as I enjoyed my surroundings.

The scents were richer here earthy moss, damp leaves, wildflowers blooming under the stars. Every inhale grounded me.

I had to take this in.

I came to a stop at a large oak tree. Its large trunk held up thick tree branches and leaves that hung low. I flopped down next to it and listened to nature herself. She carried the wind in, leaving behind the scent of trees and fresh grass.

It felt like the earth was wrapping its arms around me, whispering that I still belonged even if no one else believed it.

Something about this had me going. I rolled over to my back. Like an anxious pup, I began to roll around in a playful manner. Releasing light whimpers and growls, I was determined to ignore the anxious need to be satisfied.

I bit back a groan. Even now, my body ached. Craved. But I refused to give in.

Soon, the quiet night was awakened. Branches snapped and old fallen leaves crumbled under the weight of another. Fearful yet defensive, I leaped to stand my ground.

My ears perked. Muscles tense. Every instinct screamed danger, and yet... there was something familiar in the scent riding the wind.

I released a few growls to warn the intruder however it did not seem to affect it. Shuffling continued until someone stepped forward. I expected the intruder to be in wolf form for his or her protection however this one was not. Then I noticed why once he stepped into the clearing.

The tall, brooding figure of Xavier emerged, his dark eyes gleaming beneath the moonlight like twin embers dangerous and unreadable.

Alpha?

"Shift."

He commanded me to return to human form however I was not really comfortable right now to do so.

My wolf whimpered in hesitation. I could feel my face burn beneath the fur, mortified to be seen like this.

"I will not say it again."

His voice was laced with danger and authority. My head immediately lowered in submission before my inner wolf gave into him. Regretting my decision to actually come out here, I shifted back into human form. I did it quickly because I didn't want the same case that happened in the training grounds to occur again.

The shift was swift, painful, but familiar. I stood there, vulnerable and bare in the night, praying the shadows would shield what dignity I had left.

I looked at him. His eyes remand fixated on my own before he tossed me something. My shirt. As quickly as possible, I unraveled the material from its ball before I slipped it over my head. Perfect time to wear an overlarge tee shirt.

It hung like a second skin, hiding what needed hiding, but it did nothing to shield me from his stare.

"Why are you out here?" He ignored my desperation to cover myself as he questioned me.

"I needed air." I mumbled softly. I began walking past him in the direction of the pack house, which I soon regretted. A tight hold around my arm, he quickly pushed me back to where I had previously stood.

His grip was firm but not cruelstill, it stole the breath from my lungs.

"I'm not done with you. Do not come out here in the middle of the night without someone with you. You know all the rules of the pack. Why the hell would you even come out here this time of night?"

"Why do you hate me so much? I never did anything to you." The words out of the blue left my lips. A question that had lingered over my head since the first time I got to know that he was my mate.

My voice cracked. I didn’t even mean to say it aloud, but it spilled from me like a wound finally bleeding out.

"I never said I hated you." His eyes narrowed in on me.

"Okay." I could see a real answer was not certain here. I released a slight laugh before I walked passed him again. This time, he did not stop me.

"You need to get a handle on those dreams of yours by the way. Do you know you talk in your sleep?" He said under his breath but loud enough for me to hear.

"Excuse me?" I glanced over my shoulder. His words were clear. I just hoped my mind was deceiving me.

"You talk in your sleep at night. You know, like tonight." I cringed when the last word left his lips. I turned to get a better look at him. Emotionless eyes but the sly grin that appeared on his lips scared me.

The heat that slammed into my cheeks could’ve melted stone.

He stepped toward me. Nervous, and completely embarrassed, I struggled to swallow the lump that formed in the back of my throat.

"No... I don't." Goddess please inform me that I don't talk. At Least not a lot.

"But if you didn't, would I know I co-starred in your dreams. By the way you were talking; I guess I play a key role." My eyes widened in astonishment and my mouth was left open in complete disbelief. Is he really saying this?

The world around me seemed to suck me in as I searched for breathable air to take in. But hell, that would not stop my pounding heart that was drumming against my body.

He....he heard me?

What the hell do I do? What the hell do I say to him? Hey? You feel me up in my dreams.

Hell no.

"I'm going to bed." I wanted out of this conversation and fast. Determined to leave him behind, I turned to walk toward the house. Ignoring each burning sensation in my weak legs, I stumbled away from him.

"You going to school tomorrow but make sure you stay away from those school boys", I heard his warning as I headed to the house.