Pain

Sera's POV

I hadn't felt it coming.

Then the second tear fell. And the third, until I was heaving and bawling my eyes out.

I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth and held very still, like if I didn't move, the tears would stop. Like I could hold it all in the way I always had, the way I had learned to do since I was old enough to understand that no one was coming to save me, and falling apart was a luxury I could not afford.

But my body had apparently decided that tonight, after everything going on currently in my life, it was done cooperating.

I folded over slowly, pulled my knees tighter to my chest and let it come.

It wasn't a ladylike or elegant cry. It came from somewhere deep within, full of pain and defeat.

I couldn't even recognise my own voice, my shoulders shook with every sob. I cried for everything the day had cost me—the church, the vows, the fainting, the rules, the letter sitting in my purse.

I cried until my throat ached and my eyes burned, and when it finally slowed, I felt scraped out rather than better, hollow in a way that no amount of sleep was going to fix by morning.

I wiped my face with the back of my hand and looked at myself in the mirror across the room, my mascara was smeared all over my face, my hair falling loose from whatever careful style the stylist had pinned it into in the morning.

A woman I barely recognized stared back at me in a hotel suite worth more than every place I'd ever lived combined.

Victoria Kingsley. God help me.

“Victoria.” A muffled sound came through the door.

I turned my head immediately to the sound.

“Victoria! Open the door.”

Adrian. He sounded like he was panicking.

I crossed the room immediately, unlocked the door and swung it open.

“Adrian.”

He entered immediately and grabbed my hands, staring deep into my eyes.

“Victoria, are you okay? What's happening?”

“What's happening?” I repeated dumbly.

“I…I heard sounds coming from your room.”

So these walls weren't sound proof after all.

“I heard you crying. What's the problem? Your face…”

“My face?”

Oh no, I must look like what the cat dragged in. I'm sure my eyes were bloodshot, my mascara everywhere, my nose red, my lips swollen.

I pulled my hands and walked back into the room suddenly self conscious. “Um…Something got caught in my eye.”

“Victoria.”

I paused.

“Look at me.”

This infuriating man…

“I said I'm fine, okay? Something got stuck in my eye and I was trying to pick it out.”

“Stop lying to me. I don't have hearing problems, I clearly heard you crying. Can you not be stubborn and just tell me what the problem is?”

Now I'm annoyed. I turned back to face him.

“What do I tell you—”

“The truth!”

“Well, if you're so curious to know why I cried, Mr Adrian Kingsley, I cried because I can't imagine spending three years of my life being married to a monitoring prick like you. Happy now?”

At least that much was true.

His face masked into fury and I felt such a tremendous amount of triumph. Let him feel what I'm feeling.

“I came here to check if you're okay. The way you were crying, I genuinely thought something was wrong. But since this is how you want to be, maybe I should have minded my business.”

“You certainly should have, Mr Adrian Kingsley. Now, you should go back to your room.”

He didn't move an inch. He moved further into the room and started walking to my bed.

“What are you doing?”

He didn't reply, instead he picked up the telephone on the bed drawers and placed a call.

“Room service. Yes, I'd like to order some food.”

He ordered, hung up and remained sitting on my bed, making no move to stand up.

He'd changed out of his suit and wore a black cotton t-shirt that sat perfectly on his fit frame.

“I know you've not eaten anything since we got here. I just ordered food for both of us.”

“And what happened to minding your business?”

“To have you faint out on me again? No. I'll pass.”

We started a staring contest that lasted for a minute. Then he sighed.

“Look. Victoria. I'm just looking out for you. None of us wanted this marriage. But we don't have to keep going at each other’s throat every damn time.”

I didn't reply.

“I came here because I heard you crying and I ordered food for you to eat. That's not something so bad. So maybe you should thank me and stop looking like you want to gouge my eyes out.”

“Thank you? That's why you do all these? You're seeking appreciation?”

“No, I'm not—”

“Wow. The Almighty Adrian Kingsley wants to be thanked and appreciated and have his ego stroked.”

He shook his head and mumbled something.

“What did you say?”

“I said maybe we should cancel this marriage. Have a divorce and go our separate ways. I can't imagine myself doing this for three whole years.”

My sassy reply was already hot on my lips to have him draft out the divorce papers right now—but something cut me short. I remembered Martha. That was the whole point of this marriage. As much as he vexed me, I really needed Adrian Kingsley.

“I would have agreed to the divorce too but unfortunately for you I'm not fed up with your annoying ass yet.” I lied smoothly.

With that, I went to the wardrobe, pulled out the large white towel and bath robe and headed to the bathroom.