4

Mathilda’s POV

Today is the day I hate the most.

March 1, 2017. The most terrible and heartbreaking day of my life.

The coffin that now rests beneath the soil still feels like a nightmare. I’ve lost my mother. There’s no longer anyone who will stand up for me when my classmates, with their perfect lives, mock and humiliate me.

Where am I supposed to pour out all these tears and the exhaustion that constantly weighs me down?

My father is devastated. He’s been locked in his room since this morning. He refused to attend my mother’s funeral—even when the coffin was opened one last time, he didn’t want to see her.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Mathilda.”

A warm embrace came from Mrs. Rosa, who had just arrived at the cemetery.

I nodded weakly, wiping away the tears that hadn’t stopped flowing for the past fifteen minutes.

“Thank you, Mrs. Rosa.”

That was all I could manage to say. I looked back at my mother’s grave. I still can’t believe it—my mother is gone.

“Where’s your father?” asked Mrs. Rosa.

“He didn’t come. He’s still at home. I tried to convince him, as did my uncles and aunts who came, but he’s too heartbroken to watch his wife being buried.”

Mrs. Rosa rested her head gently on my shoulder. I could feel her sadness too—it was just as deep as mine.

“Life is strange, Mrs. Rosa,” I whispered. “I just needed love from someone who would genuinely care for me and protect me, and now that person is gone. You know, I was always the ugly girl everyone mocked at school. If it weren’t for my mother, I wouldn’t have made it this far. Does God really think I’m strong enough to face such a cruel world?”

As if answering my question, thunder rumbled in the distance. A dark cloud rolled across the sky, and light rain began to fall, growing heavier with each second.

“Come on, Mathilda, we should go home now. It’s going to rain—look at the sky.”

Mrs. Rosa took my arm gently, but I slowly pulled away.

“You can go, Mrs. Rosa. I’ll stay here. I want to cry in the rain… and feel the loneliness around me.”

“Grandma!”

A loud voice made me turn around. I saw Fredric running toward us, holding an umbrella.

Mrs. Rosa immediately stepped back when she saw her grandson approach.

“Let’s go home, Grandma! Why are you still standing here?!” Fredric shouted. I didn’t look at either of them. My eyes stayed fixed on my mother’s grave.

There was a long silence. I thought they had left—but I was wrong. Fredric suddenly grabbed my wrist.

“Let me go!”

I pulled my hand away instinctively. Honestly, I was angry. I didn’t want to be forced like this. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate their concern, but I wanted to endure this pain my way—under the rain. Why couldn’t they understand that?

“You’re so stubborn! It’s raining—what are you waiting for? Even if you stand here all day, your mother won’t come back. You have to face reality.”

I turned to him. Fredric was soaked too—he had already given his umbrella to Mrs. Rosa. For the first time, I was genuinely angry at him.

“Of course I’ll face it, Fredric. I know that. You don’t have to tell me. But I still want to stay here. What’s wrong with that? Go home! Your grandmother’s health is far more important than forcing me to leave.”

“Tch! Fine! Do you think I’m worried about you because I care? Damn it, let’s go, Grandma! I told you it’s useless trying to reason with this woman!”

Fredric turned and walked away. I heard Mrs. Rosa quietly scolding him, urging him to convince me again, but he ignored her.

He walked off into the rain, while I sat at the edge of my mother’s grave, letting the downpour wash over me.

---

May 4, 2017

I ran as fast as I could toward Mrs. Rosa’s courtyard.

She had called to say my father had suddenly collapsed, and panic gripped me instantly.

Since my mother’s death, my father had changed completely. For the past three months, he had barely spoken and had lost his appetite. Not just him—I felt the same emptiness. My life had turned dull, colorless. Even my feelings for Fredric, once burning, had faded away.

I didn’t care about anything anymore. I just tried to stay strong, so my father wouldn’t sink any deeper into sadness.

He had fallen ill several times. I kept telling him to rest, but he always refused. He hated being at home—it only reminded him of my mother.

Mrs. Rosa’s housekeeper greeted me and led me to the small guesthouse at the back.

When I arrived, my father was lying weakly on the bed, his face pale.

“Dad.”

“Don’t come closer.”

I froze where I stood when he said that. But I ignored him and took another step. To my shock, my father’s eyes widened, and he shouted again, louder this time:

“DON’T COME ANY CLOSER!”

Mrs. Rosa quickly grabbed me and pulled me out of the room. My heart was a tangled mess. What’s wrong with him?

“Mathilda, you need to listen to your father,” said Mrs. Rosa softly. “He’s depressed… deeply traumatized.”

I couldn’t hold back my tears anymore. Mrs. Rosa hugged me tightly.

“Then what should I do now? He needs someone with him, but how, Mrs. Rosa? I’m so confused!”

“You have to be patient, dear. Your father’s greatest fear was losing your mother—and now that it’s happened, he’s been consumed by grief. I’ll talk to him little by little. For now, you should stay here.”

“Grandma, where are you?”

A familiar voice echoed through the yard. I looked up and saw Fredric approaching—with a stunning woman beside him. Paula. I recognized that face immediately. The famous model everyone’s been talking about lately.

I gently pulled away from Mrs. Rosa’s embrace. I didn’t want to look at them. It was easier to keep my head down.

“What a coincidence, Fredric,” said Mrs. Rosa with a smile. “I need a small favor.”

“What is it?” he asked, clearly impatient.

“I need you to go with Mathilda back to her house and help her bring her belongings here,” she said firmly.

I turned to Mrs. Rosa and shook my head quickly.

“What?! I’m supposed to go with her? I have plans with Paula—we’re having lunch. I came here to invite you, Grandma, not to babysit Mathilda! Can’t she go home by herself? Does she even remember where she lives?!” Fredric sounded annoyed, and his expression showed it even more.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Rosa, but Mr. Fredric is right, I can—”

“I said you’ll go with her, Fredric!” Mrs. Rosa interrupted sharply. “Have you forgotten how to listen? Or do you think it’s beneath you to help Mathilda?”

She then turned her gaze toward Paula, who stammered awkwardly and shook her head.

“Ugh! Fine! Let’s just go!”

Fredric spun around and walked off quickly. I looked at Mrs. Rosa, who smiled kindly at me.

“Go pack your clothes and essentials,” she said gently. “Come on, dear. You also have to get ready for work tomorrow, don’t you?”

All I could do was sigh and nod slowly.

I had no words left.