Chapter five

Brother.

NOELLE'S POV

He woke me up with his mouth.

No alarm. No words. Just his head between my thighs and his tongue on my pussy before I was even fully awake.

I've come to learn this man was truly an eater.

My back came off the bed.

"Roman—"

His hands pushed my hips back down. "We have time."

We didn't have much time. My flight was in four hours. But I didn't say that. I closed my eyes and held the sheets and let him do what he wanted.

He was slow. Slower than usual. Long licks from bottom to top. Then tight circles right on my clit. His tongue  rolled over me and my legs started shaking. When I grabbed his hair he let me. When I tried to pull him up he didn't move.

Not until he was ready.

Two fingers pushed inside me. Deep. Curling up to that spot. His mouth stayed on my clit the whole time and I stopped trying to be quiet.

I came hard. Thighs around his head. His name echoing in the quiet room.

He kissed his way back up. From my stomach to my ribs and then throat. When he got to my mouth I could taste myself on him. I pulled him closer anyway.

I reached down and wrapped my hand around his cock. Hard and heavy. The piercing warm under my thumb.

He breathed out sharp.

"Last time," I said. I don't know why I said it out loud.

He looked at me.

"Last time," he said back.

He pushed inside slow. All the way. The piercing dragged and my breath caught and when he was all the way in he stopped and just looked at my face.

I looked at his.

Something passed between us. I didn't name it. I wasn't going to.

Then he moved.

No rushing this time. Deep slow strokes. His forehead on mine. My legs around him. His hand holding mine against the pillow above my head.

I felt every inch. Every time the piercing hit that spot. Every time he pushed all the way in and paused.

"Look at me," he said.

I looked at him.

He kept moving. We stayed like that. Eyes open. Foreheads together. And it was the most honest I had been with anyone in years and I felt it in my chest more than anywhere else.

I came the second time soft and slow and deep. My whole body shaking.

He followed right after. All the way inside. A low groan at my neck. His hand squeezing mine.

We didn't move after.

The ceiling fan turned above us. Morning light came through the curtains and made the walls gold.

His thumb did that small circle against my hand. The one he always did without knowing.

I stared at the ceiling and memorized it. His weight beside me. The way he breathed. The quiet of a room that had held ten days of something I wasn't going to name.

I was not going to cry.

I was not.

"You should shower," he said quietly.

"I know."

We didn't move for ten more minutes.

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The cab came at nine.

My bag was at the door. Roman stood in the kitchen in a grey shirt and bare feet looking out at the water. Like he was giving me space to leave. I was grateful for that. I also hated it.

I picked up my bag.

He turned around.

We looked at each other across the room. All that space. All those windows. The Aegean blue and unbothered behind him like it didn't know what it had just seen.

He walked over. Stopped in front of me. His hand came up and tucked a curl behind my ear. Then it stayed on my jaw.

He kissed me.

Not fast. Not hungrily. Just slow and deep. Like a sentence that knew it was the last one and wanted to finish properly.

I kissed him back the same way.

When we stopped I didn't look into his eyes. I knew if I did I wouldn't leave.

"No last names," I said. My voice held. Barely.

"No last names," he said.

I nodded. Picked up my bag and walked out.

I didn't look back.

The drive to the airport was quiet. Hills gold in the morning light. Radio low. I looked out the window and felt the ache of leaving something you can't take with you.

I wasn't sad. That's what I told myself.

The flight was eleven hours.

I didn't sleep this time.

I watched films I can't remember. Ate food I didn't taste. Stared out the window at clouds.

Somewhere over the ocean I let myself feel it. Just for a while. The ten days. The cliff. The kitchen. The way he said my name. The last kiss.

Then I put it away. Closed the door on it.

He was a memory now.

Memories can't hurt you.

Home felt small.

I dropped my bag at the door and stood in my own apartment like a stranger. Same walls. Same furniture. Same everything.

I opened the windows. Made tea. Sat down.

My phone had forty three messages. I read none of them. I put it face down and stared at the ceiling until I fell asleep sitting up.

Two days later Bria called.

"Derek's dad's birthday is Saturday," she said. "He wants you there."

"No."

"Noelle."

"No Bria."

"It's one dinner. His whole family will be there. You show up. You show everyone you're fine. Then you leave."

"I am fine."

"Then prove it."

I said nothing.

"I'll be with you the whole time," she said. "If you want to leave early I'll start a fire in the kitchen."

"That's arson."

"I have your back like that."

I stared at the ceiling.

"One hour," I said. "Sixty minutes then we go."

"Deal. And wear something that makes Derek regret everything."

I wore a green dress, the one that I thought looked too slutty.

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The Ashford house was the kind of house that had a name.

Big gates. Long driveway. Flowers arranged by someone paid to do it. Warm lights that cost money to look that easy.

I had been here before. Many times. It used to feel like something.

Tonight it was just a house.

Bria squeezed my arm at the door. "Sixty minutes. You're fine."

"I'm fine," I said.

We went in.

The room was full. Derek's dad near the fireplace. Derek in the middle of everything already watching the door. Watching me.

I smiled. Calm. Composed. Same coat I always wore. It still fits.

Derek came over.

"You came," he said.

"It's your father's birthday," I said. "Of course."

He looked at me the way people look at things they've lost and haven't accepted yet. I looked back at him with nothing. Santorini had given me that at least.

"There's someone I want you to meet," he said. "Just got back from Europe. Five years abroad."

He turned toward the other side of the room.

I looked.

And everything stopped.

Dark suit. That jaw. He was already looking at me before our eyes met. Like he had been looking since I walked in.

Like he had been waiting.

My heart stopped. Then started. Then I forgot how to breathe entirely.

Derek smiled and put his hand on my back.

"Noelle, meet my brother. Roman."