The weight of Goodbye

Roman’s pov***

“Damn you, Zee!” I cursed under my breath as I read the letter she left behind at her apartment.

“I didn’t realize they would use the blueprint to secure the contract behind you. He had promised to offer me higher compensation than you would get from the Elcon contract, and he assured me of the contract. I thought I was doing the best for you.

I am so sorry; I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.

 I am choosing to leave because I know you want nothing more from me.”

The content of her letter drove me crazy; her clothes were gone, along with the necklace I had gifted her for our engagement.

“What a gold digger,” I scoffed to myself.

Frustrated, I picked up my phone and dialed Levi's number.

“She’s gone,” I told him

“How could she just disappear? Where could she have gone?” Levi asked, sounding perplexed.

“I don’t know, but she better run, run as fast as she can,” I replied before abruptly hanging up the phone and storming out of the house.   

Fueled by anger as I drove, I thought about Tania. I needed to clear my head again, and she had shown she was available.

“Come over to my apartment,” I instructed her as she picked up the phone, then I hung up on her, not waiting for her reply. I wondered if Zara knew that it was her beloved friend Tania, whom she cherished, who had betrayed her.

“She deserved whatever happened to her,” I said out loud.

Arriving home, I discovered Tania was already waiting.

Zara’s pov***

I woke up still at the hospital, disoriented, the lights shining brightly at me. I blinked. My savior had gone. The nurse came in almost immediately.

“Miss Zara, do you need anything?” she asked in a gentle tone.

“Yes, I would like to make a phone call.”

“Ok, ma’am.” She left and came back with a hospital phone

With trembling hands, I dialed Roman's number. I knew it from the day he proposed. I was so in love. My chest hunched over my throat as I heard the phone ring. He had to know about the baby, maybe it would make a difference if he knew what I had gone through and that I was carrying his child. Roman picked up the phone, but the words didn’t come out of my mouth

“Hello, who is this?” I heard him say from the phone, his voice cool, yet curious, but I could not find the right words

“Hello,” he said again, and I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

“Want to go again?” I heard a lady's voice from the background, and tears gathered again in my eyes. I dropped the phone. I couldn't believe he had completely forgotten about me and had moved on. He must have hated me.

“Doctor,” I called out, desperation in my voice.

“Doctor!” I screamed, I was in pain and hurt, my heart ached, and my head spun. The realization that I was pregnant for a man who didn’t want me anymore, the nurse rushed in.

“Miss Zara,” she said as she tried to calm me down. I screamed at her, holding my head.

“I want it out, take it out!” I exclaimed, scratching my stomach

“I don’t want Roman's baby growing in me, call the doctor! I want it out!” I screamed further, the doctor came in and tried to hold me down

“Doctor, you have to get it out, please take it out,” I cried and begged him.

“Push 10 milligrams of diazepam,” I heard the doctor say as I went into darkness.

I woke up feeling dazed. I looked at my stomach, it was as it was before. I was still carrying Roman's child, the man who had built me and broken me.

Before him, my life was fairly simple, I was just an HR assistant who was happy with my job. After work, Tania and I would head to the mall to grab dinner and then head home.

We would sing and dance until sleep crept in, and the routine would continue the next day. I had left home in search of greener pastures when I lost my parents two years ago, and Tania was the first person I met.

“Hello, newbie,” I could remember her saying with a bright smile.

“Hi, I am not a …” I tried to say, but she interrupted me.

“Oh yes, you are! I can tell. I'm Tania, and you are Vic,” she guessed confidently while pointing at me as she beamed with happiness. I couldn't help but like her immediately.

“No, I'm Zara, Zara Amani”

“Nice to meet you, Zee, got a place to stay?” she asked me. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

And that was how I ended up with Tania; she was like a sister I always longed for but never had, and we fought life together. I didn’t know her number by heart, so I decided to leave a message on the home line.

I thought about what I was going to do from there, but I had no idea. I had to build my life somehow, but I didn’t know how.

“I heard you are awake,” Dr. Adrian said as he stepped in, his voice breaking my thoughts.

“Doctor, what do I do?” I asked him like he had been in my life long enough

“We would be keeping you here for close monitoring. I would like to run some more tests on you before I can discharge you,” he explained as a matter of fact.

Wasn’t he listening? What would I do after all that?

“Miss Sylvia Grant will be coming to see you anytime soon; I believe she has some important matters to discuss with you. I am very sorry you are in this situation, Miss Zara.”

“Thank you,” I said as he excused himself. There was not much he could do for me, and I didn't blame him.

I was tired, too tired to think further, I felt utterly drained. I wished at that moment that it would all end.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t know when Sylvia came in.

“Zara,” she called softly.

“Oh, hello,” I replied without enthusiasm.

“I heard what happened today, if you don’t mind, my dear, I would like to hear your story, you seem like a woman who has been wronged.” She said as she settled into a chair across from me. I looked into her eyes, not knowing what she wanted.

I thought about it for a while, and I wasn’t leaving the hospital soon, so I didn’t mind.

“My name is Zara Amani….” I began recounting the details, I went on and on about how I got to New Valley after tragically losing my parents, down to how I ended up at the hospital, and she listened all through, never interrupting.

“Do you want revenge?” she asked, shockingly.

I had thought about vengeance, but didn’t think anyone would ask me such a question.

In that fleeting moment, I knew, I knew what I had to do, to get back at the ones who hurt, and especially to Roman, who couldn’t stand by me at my worst time. I hated him, I hated that he hurt me; his betrayal felt like a wound that could not heal, and I was bound to make him pay.

“Yes,” I heard myself say before the effects of the medication I was on began to take hold of me, and my vision faded into darkness.