But it was already too late.
It was clear to Bree the moment she stepped into the living room that something had gone horribly wrong while she'd been sleeping.
If only she knew what.
He looked do distant from her, do different from the man she'd been with just the other night and it scared the shit out of her.
His eyes were cold and he looked to have been up through the night.....drinking.
Ryder wasn't a heavy drinker for all she knew.
All she knew.....what did she even know about the man except that he was loaded, a target of her father's, and he'd told her he loves her.
The man that had said those words to her just hours ago was the one she was looking for as she watched him from where she stood, frozen to her spot.
But somehow, he was gone, totally disappeared without a trace, leaving this angry shell of a man in its place.
-
Ryder had left the room last night in the heat of all the thoughts that were running t
Her box laid open in the middle of their bed while Bree went around the room, taking anything she thought she'd need and throwing them inside it.She's procrastinated this packing for a while now but it needed to be done and as a matter of fact now that Ryder was still at the office.She didn't want him to come home and find she was the only one delaying the vacation he'd taken the whole month to plan for them.Yeah, a vacation, more like a honeymoon except the kids, Karen and Issy, the new nanny, were coming too.In the couple of years that's passed, a lot has happened, none of which she regretted one bit.Not learning how damaged how husband had been before he waltzed into her life or that his plan had been to use her as pawn in his schemes to get revenge, none of it.That last part had hit harder than the rest, knowing that she could have so easily suffered for the crimes of someone who didn't even give two piece of flying shit about her.She'd taken her time to digest that piece
"You know you'll never hurt Xander, right?" She asked him quietly, and honestly, she had no idea what that did for him.He didnt know that, he's been afraid of that since he knew he was expecting a soon too and maybe, just maybe, that has affected his relationship with his baby.He wondered if she'd noticed, all the times he'd opt to hold Lexie instead of him, afraid that whatever had made his father get so awfully abusive to him might be nestled somewhere inside him.What if it was a bad trait living inside him too, waiting to grow and make him a monster too?It was the sole reason he hadn't wanted kids, ever, but Bree had come into his life and many things had changed with her presence.She'd made him want things that he had no right wanting, made him be live he deserved some good things in his life and now here they were, with two kids, one of them a boy......just like he'd been."I need you to understand this Ry, you'll never be like your father. You are a good man, one of the best
Bree knew that Ryder had gone through a lot growing up, hrll she knew he had had it tough growing up and has dealt with his fair share of traumatic experience, but abuse at ten?That was a lot to digest.It must have been so difficult for him, a different kind of hell even to loose the one person that genuinely loved him and have the other person who was supposed to love him now resort to abusing and molesting him instead.She couldn't stop the tears that rolled down the sides of her face as she listened to him tell it in that voice of his that couldn't choose between indifference, anger and pain.She could imagine him, so innocent, so small, so hurt and yet do afraid of the monster he calls father.No wonder his father snd hers had gotten so along together and had even made it as close friends.They were both bad pedophilic men, cut from the same nasty cloth.".......and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, he started bringing his friends over."Her breath caught in her throat s
Before he got into bed, Ryder had already made up his mind to tell Bree everything that she wanted to know about him and why he turned out the way he did.He didn't want a fight like the last time, that had been an absolute hell, and he didnt want to let his past keep winning.He wanted to get it out there, he needed to.This morning had shown him that, he might never be over those horrid incidents but it would be better to know he tried.And if he had to share it with anyone, then why not her? Why not the woman he was ready to spend the rest of his life with?Even though he hasn't popped the question, he knew that was his truth, he's been ready for that step for a while now and he'd ask her anytime from now."Baby please...."Her voice called his mind back from wandering off.He opened his mouth to, but the words weren't coming, his tongue sat heavy in his mouth, unmoving, while the forbidden images he's fought so hard to keep at bay flooded his head.His hand that held her close sque
Bree didnt know which bothered her the most this night between a tantrum throwing Xander who wouldn't calm down to anything and a Ryder she'd watched all day start to recoil into himself.But she'd be damned if he thought that she'd let him do that to both of them again.Not this time around, no.It was surprising still how fast his mood had swung from after she found him in the sittingroom with the last people on earth she expected to see today.He'd been okay at first, talking with them and even playing smug with her when she'd called him out on knowing they had guests snd not mentioning.But as the discussion in the room had settled more between herself and Larry, encompassing how much things had changed back home from when she left up until now and stuff, she'd noticed the start of his withdrawal. By the time Larry had come around filling her in on what had been decided on the case of her father, Nathan and Brandon, he'd been about ready to combust.She'd noticed, and before she c
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Ryder, centered around the two new men in the house and the babies they came to visit, mostly.It was nice to see Bree around other people that wasn't him and the kids, to see her around her own crowd.She needed this, he knew, because in these past months it's been just himself, the kids and Karen in her life, which wasn'tideal for anyone really.It must have been difficult for her, not having anyone or anywhere to go, especially in the times he'd been an absolute asshole to her and she must have needed someone to vent to, but she'd endured it without complaint.He hated that she had though, she should have said something, done something, but she hadn't and he couldn't even lay the blames at her doorstep now.He'd been all that she'd had here, away from her family, biological and adopted, and he'd fucked up royally.These thoughts and accusations in his head while he watched her bloom like a flower having its first taste of sunshine in a while