LOGINHAZEL I took one last look at myself in the mirror before I left my bedroom. I didn't know what had come over me. Maybe I just wanted to feel normal again. You know, to dress up, sit at the dinner table, and enjoy a meal without thinking about everything that happened to me.Maybe I just wanted to have a good time. Maybe the outside could help make the inside feel better. Or maybe... Maybe I wanted Axel to notice.I immediately shook my head. No. I wasn't going to think about him or that, in order not to let myself spiral and think maybe this was too much. Maybe Axel will think this is too much. Maybe I should change. Maybe I should wash off the makeup. Maybe I should try to look nonchalant.....So, before all of that got into my head, I opened the door and walked out. As I made my way towards the dining room, I could hear voices from inside and immediately knew who was there. Angela was already there, and so was Axel.Axel was sitting in his chair. He was talking to Angela, who was
HAZEL Angela put a heavy tone on the word cleaned, and I laughed. But when I saw the look on her face, I tried to tone it down."I'm sorry. I just can't stay lying around every morning and every night. I had to do something with myself.""Yes, but don't do my job." She paused. "You've got Chemistry and nursing to kick your ass for. Don't do my job."I laughed as I responded."All right, Angela. I'm not going to do it again.""Good. Now let's go inside and have breakfast."We walked back into the house. Axel was already there, and he was reading the morning paper. I'd never seen him reading a newspaper before. And with his signature cold concentration, he was already dressed in his sharp suit, looking so handsome and elegant as always.I don't know..... He just looked good reading the paper there."Good morning, Axel," I said brightly as I took a seat."Good morning, Hazel," he said back with a smile.Angela prepared our breakfast, and then she... I was so focused on Axel that I didn'
HAZEL Maybe it was the memory of everything that had happened between us. Maybe it was the way things had changed lately. Or maybe I was just scared of what that hug would mean.So instead, I cleared my throat."I just thought I could share the news."He watched me."I mean, I'm not accepted yet..." I began."They will accept you." He said it so confidently that I almost laughed. "Trust me."He said it as if he was the dean of the school or something. Of course, Axel was used to power. He was power, I guess. I couldn't help smiling at the way he said it."I hope you're right," I said instead."I'm always right."I stared at him. His confidence. So sure. Right on point. He wasn't worried. He was sure I would pass, and I wished I could have a piece of his confidence for myself, so I could be as confident as he was."I wish I were as confident as you are," I said."You don't have to be confident all the time."I looked up at him."You just have to keep going and not give up. That's all
HAZEL When I finished the application, I couldn't help but hug Angela hard."Wait," she said, laughing. "You're not even admitted yet.""Don't say that. Don't jinx me."I pulled back and looked at her."They're going to accept me. I will be accepted. I'm going to be a nurse.""Yes, but remember the eight weeks.""I remember the eight weeks," I said, rolling my eyes. "Plus, it's virtual. I don't have to go anywhere; I can do it all here."I paused for a moment."Although I'm wondering how safe it is for me out there to go to nursing school. Do you think I should have applied for something far away, maybe outside the city?"Angela's smile faded slightly."Do you think Harris could find me if I were..." I continued."Stop, Hazel." She immediately put her hand up in front of my face. "We're not talking about Harris."She shook her head."We're not talking about that no-good... person."I could tell she was about to say something worse, and it made me smile despite myself."What I want us
HAZELWe walked back together towards the library, and I don't think my feet had ever moved that fast. Just a few minutes ago, I had been running away from the library because I thought my dream was over.But now I was running back towards it because maybe it wasn't.Angela was walking beside me with a hidden smile."Slow down," she said, laughing. "You're going to fall.""I won't fall. I am not falling until I have applied."She laughed."I can see that."When we reached the library, I walked straight towards the table where we had been sitting earlier. The laptop was still there. The screen was still open, and somehow, seeing that application still sitting there made everything feel real again, as if it was still right there for me to grasp.I pulled out the chair and sat down, and Angela sat right beside me."Okay," she said, opening the laptop again. "Let's do this. We need to make sure everything is exactly as they said. We don't want to register for the wrong thing. We don't wan
HAZELMy footsteps echoed through the hallway as I walked faster, almost stumbling over my own feet. I didn't care who saw me. I didn't care if the maids looked at me or if the soldiers turned their heads..... I just wanted to be alone.I reached the stairs and hurried up them, my eyes burning as I climbed. I didn't even realise I was crying until a tear landed on the back of my hand. I wiped it away angrily."No." The word escaped my lips. "No, no, no."I reached my bedroom and pushed the door open, closing it behind me. I leaned against it and finally allowed myself to breathe. Or at least, I tried. My chest felt tight, and my throat hurt. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, but that only made more tears fall.It wasn't supposed to happen like this. I had spent so long believing I had nothing. Nothing to look forward to, Nothing that belonged to me. And then, for the first time, I had found something..... A long-lost dream. Something I had wanted before life became comp
HAZELI don’t even have the strength to do my usual bedtime routine. I pull on the teddy pyjamas and crawl under the covers. The last thing I want is another conversation.Of course, when Angela comes back, she lightly touches me. I stir up and give her a look that clearly says, 'Don't push me.'Sh
AXELBefore I can stop her, Hazel's hands are already tugging at my jacket. I should pull away. I should take her wrists. I should stop this.But I don’t.She slips my jacket down my arms, lets it fall to the floor like it’s nothing, and then her fingers move to the buttons of my shirt. My breath c
HAZELIt fucking hurt.... Shit!It hurt like hell.And it's not just my body. My heart felt like someone had shoved a fist straight through it and squashed it.I was still trying to breathe past the dull ache that had settled between my legs. After he jerked away and I was instantly replaced by a s
HAZELPutting on my best cheery smile, cheery voice, cheery face, I said, “Why would you ask that? Am I not at home? This is home, right? And this is the dining room if I'm not mistaken. I have breakfast here every day. Am I not allowed to come in here?”She stops and stares at me. It feels like s



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