Chapter 1

Serena’s POV

“Woah, what’s happening?”

“What’s going on here?”

“What else? I’m setting up our crib, Honey” Eliot, my husband’s voice sounded out. His warm smiles pulling me in as he urged me into the room.

“C’mon, why do you look so surprised? We have to start setting up stuff like this, you know.” He continued, “The earlier we start, the better. Before you know it, our boy will be jumping about! He should at least have his bed ready.”

“Jumping about?” I repeated, disbelief clouding my features as I neared him. A deep sigh of distress leaving my lips just as I saw what had his attention.

“Oh Eli… we- you really shouldn’t be like this. You shouldn’t be doing stuff like this, the doctor already confirmed me not pregnant.”

“And then?” He probed, rising up and abandoning the baby blue crib to look at me. “You’re not pregnant now, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get pregnant at all. You will Serena! You will be pregnant with our little boy in no time, we already talked about this, didn’t we?”

More sighs just left my lips at this point, my shoulders sagging. “Baby c’mon, don’t let the doctor's words get to you; you will be fine. We will be fine, and have our baby. We will, I know it!”

“B-but what if it never happens?” I cried out in distress, airing out my worries. “What if… what if we never get our baby, I never get pregnant… what if-

“Shusshh, don’t say it.” He hushed me, pulling me softly into his arms before I fully broke down. “Don’t say that Serena, please. You will have our baby! My baby. Don’t ever think that you won’t, okay?”

“Okay?” he pressed, wiping my cheeks as he stared deep into my teary eyes. Wanting me to believe him, to believe the words that I knew he meant with all of his heart.

“Okay,” I finally whispered, sniffling as I managed a smile at him. “I’m not crying again, if I am it’s all your fault!”

He chuckled softly at those words, perking my forehead comfortingly. “I agree! It’s all my fault this time. I take all the blame.”

“You better!” I warned teasingly, pouting and sniffling as I fought the warm smile that came after his melodic laughter hit my ears.

“I love you, Serena…. I love you so much, never forget that!” He cooed softly to me,

“I love you too, Eli …”

“No, I love you much more…”

Awwwn,

So sweet, isn’t it?

A beautiful display of love. Affection, comfort… between two individuals. A couple… that surprisingly bore both mine and Eliot names. Who also happened to be my husband as well.

But sadly, such a display was not found between us.

I mean, how could it? That loving scene was only my mere imagination after all. My desperate attempt to receive even the slightest bit of attention from Eliot, my own husband! My own.

Laughable, isn’t it?

You know, one would think that a woman of my standing, a wife like me… would dream or imagine something else. Something better at least!

A designer bag, kids graduation day or something… but yet, here I was imagining my husband just comforting me. Holding me in his arms, and worrying over issues that actually did bother me.

Issue of my pregnancy, our baby, that was yet to even form in my womb!

You tell me. Was that too much to ask? I wasn’t asking for much now, was i?

But yeah, who was I kidding? This was clearly too much and has always been.

It has always been like this; me, relaxing in our huge but absolutely empty mansion, just… imagining away.

Dreaming of what myself and Eliot should be doing, instead of ACTUALLY doing it, since we were lawfully wedded and surprisingly lived under the same roof!

Get that?

You saw what I did there, right?

Yeah, you did.

Well then, welcome.

Welcome to my very boring life! I am Serena. Serena Beckett, your host for the afternoon.

At least, I get to keep your company for as long as I have my mind to imagine. Don’t i?

“Err, excuse me, Mrs. Beckett” a warm voice spoke from behind me, interrupting my thoughts yet again.

“Rosa…” I sighed deeply, knowing who it was already.

“I apologize ma’am, but your special sandwich is ready!” I angled my head to take in her features for a moment.

Slightly grey hair held neatly in a tight bun behind her head, perfectly ironed two-piece uniform that she and the few maids around here usually wore, and then her twinkling understanding eyes. My favorite things about her- her eyes. She looked beautiful even in such simplicity.

“Would you like me to serve. ma’am?” she pressed, calmly waiting for me. “I can wait for you to eat before I go. I can eat with you too”

A smile broke on my lips at those last words, “Oh no Rosa… you’re sweet, but no.” I declined softly, “It's your weekend off, and I’m not letting you stay here in his boring mansion with me.”

“But-

“No buts!” I waved her off, “It's your grandson’s birthday today, you should go home. And take some sandwiches with you too, I made them all for you.”

All the fight left her face at my words, and I knew I had won. Convincing Rosa, our head chef to take days off has always been a struggle.

She would rather be here with me than go home, for fear that I would be all alone. Something a certain person I know should’ve been burdened with, but surprisingly he was not.

Doesn’t even bother calling to check in.

“Will you really be fine, Ma’am? We could go shopping before I leave,”

“No, no… I’m in no mood for shopping right now.” I declined with a slightly depressed sigh. “I will be fine, trust me. You don’t need to worry about anything, just go home and enjoy your weekend! One of us has to at least…”

She sighed, but eventually did as told. And then less than a few minutes later, the front doors sounded shut. Sealing me again in the silence.

As usual.

It never used to be like this, you know. Me and Eliot…

We used to be so happy, present in each other's lives… Hell, we used to see each other! Not like now that we behaved like light and darkness.

Me been the light and he, darkness of course. Never to be caught with or around each other. I go to bed, he isn’t there. I wake up, and he’s already gone!

Argh!

This is someone I used to wake up together in bed with! Take slurpy showers, have sex and then breakfast before he left for work!

I used to wait for him at the front porch everyday just so we could have dinner. He used to be so happy to see me, even if he didn’t speak much. But most of all, I was happy. So happy…

And now… I didn’t even know the meaning of that word ‘happy’. We don’t seem to do anything anymore. We barely even saw each other.

I doubt we even sleep on the same bed. Which is so ironic because we do live in the same house. We weren’t even quarreling for heaven’s sake!

Maybe if we were, I would be even happier. At least that would get us to see each other’s faces. People have to quarrel face to face, don’t they?

It was like we were all sweet and then one day… nothing. Just silence and coldness in every inch of this house. Leaving me with no clue on how to-to… handle all of this. God!

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be; this wasn’t how I had thought or dreamt my life with Eliot would turn out. In fact, my dreams were far from this! Nothing like this even. We had a baby in my dreams, a little boy that looked like Eli.

But time and time again, I get reminded that all of that was merely just a dream. An imagination. And my current life right now, with Eliot, and no baby, was my reality!

I was alone.

The thoughts alone were enough to bring tears to my eyes. My heart squeezing tight in my chest as I fought yet another sob of frustration.

Another breakdown that I usually had whenever I thought about how ridiculous my life had turned out. Something I had just assured Rosa wouldn’t happen.

“Aww, stupid tears!” I sobbed silently, wiping my eyes as more tears just slipped out. “Ugh…”

Usually, going shopping with mom, Rosa or even Eliot’s mom seemed to do the trick. Help me forget all about my worries, but today… I just wasn’t in the mood for that.

Probably because of yet another negative pregnancy test result that I had received today.

Another useless white paper to add to the pile in the drawer high up in my room. All unknown to Eliot of course. Not like he would even care if I had them all decorated on our sheets for us to lay on.

He wouldn’t, trust me I’ve tried it.

And know what that got me? An entire fucking week of him sleeping at the office! Claiming things were really tight and he had to work overtime!

Totally avoiding me, like he didn’t want to have a baby with me! His wife!

Could you believe that?!

And he wasn’t even cheating! He wasn’t. His mom and I tracked his every move for months and got nothing!

Absolutely nothing. No side chicks, no secretary dramas, no gym friend…nothing!

All he did was work. Work, work, work, work, work!

Sometimes I even ask myself if he was gay!

But that would ridiculous, considering just how passionate he was on nights he would actually want me. Those were the only times when I actually felt like he saw me. He needed me, craved me even. I lived for those moments.

But other times, when he was busy “working” like a horse. I spent all my time wondering how we changed.

How he changed from the sweet, sexy man that I used to know. The man I dreamt so much about, stayed awake several nights imagining what it would be like to be his wife, and eventually marrying him after receiving the sweetest proposal. I wondered how it all changed. So fast too.

My emotions were just all over the place at this point, but luckily, the front doors slammed open just then.

And out went all my depressing thoughts as I readjusted myself on the couch, “Rosa?” I called out, wiping my eyes dry. knowing fully well it could only be her coming through those doors.

Eliot’s mom was away for a charity event I had declined going thinking I was pregnant and didn’t want to stress out my baby. “Rosa, why are you back? I told you I will be fine; there’s no-

“Oh my God!” I gushed loudly, my eyes almost popping out of their sockets as I stared in disbelief at the very person coming from the doors.

“Eliot? You’re home? In broad day light?!” My voice continued to rise, excitement overriding every other emotion as I raced to him. “Is this Christmas or what?!”

“Stop being so dramatic, you’re acting like a child.” He grumbled as I jumped on him with happiness. Not minding if anyone at all was watching. But maybe I should’ve.

“I don’t care; I don’t mind been a child at all!” I chuckled happily as I settled back on the floor. “How are you home so early? Did something happen at the office?”

He adjusted at my words, brushing me off as he cleared his throat. Reminding me of our silent rule; no touching. At least ones he didn’t initiate.

But no matter how many times it happened; it didn’t stop it from hurting any less. And just like my excitement took a hit. It didn’t help that his gaze kind of seemed colder than usual,

“I-is something wrong?” I asked gently, sensing something was off already.

“We need to talk,” he said curtly, his tone clipped. Not making me feel any better looking at him.

But still, “Okay, about what?” I pressed, calmly fixing my eyes on him. But before he could let out a word, a squeaky sound came from behind him. Or rather, from the front door behind him. And the moment I moved to see, a rush of cold air hit me.

“Err, are there any helps around? I can’t really move my bags all by myself. Eli baby please help me.”

Eli baby?

I blinked, my thoughts blank as my eyes landed back on Eliot in front of me.

“That,” he said, gesturing to the obviously pregnant young lady outside our door. “is what we need to talk about.”