Chapter 3

SERENA’S POV

“What do you mean you’re not-

I didn’t even let him finish before throwing his now squeezed up papers at him. Actively shutting him up as I picked up my phone and walked out on both him and his stupid mistress.

Silence filled the air. Their confusion clear, but I had only one mission in mind; go up to my room and be away from all of this!

“Serena”

“Serena!” his voice raised, echoing in our quiet home. But I continued walking, not stopping for anything and most especially not him. “Stop right there, I’m still talking!”

The sound of my slipper heels storming away on the stairs only grew louder, filling the air and displaying just how much anger I had boiling deep inside of me.

It was the only response he deserved after being an idiotic selfish jerk! “SERENA!”

In no time, his angry steps sounded behind me. Each step heavier than the last, and so I prepared myself for the collision I knew was coming. “I said stop right th-

“What!” I fired hotly in his face, yanking my arm away from his hold like he burned my skin. My eyes spat fire, “Didn’t you hear me already? Or should I repeat?!”

His lips parted, surprised at my tone but even that quickly dissipated to be replaced by annoyance brewing in his eyes. “Sign the papers,” he ordered slowly, his piercing grey eyes fixed on me like a hawk.

I could feel that familiar domineering aura of his roll off him in waves, but I was too mad to let it affect me right now.

“Serena,” he called again, his tone warning this time as I glared at him. Glared at the very face I had imagined over and over again in this very house.

That I had constantly wished to see in broad daylight as I did now. But never in my wildest dreams, never did I ever think for a second that it would be like this.

And the more I held his gaze, the more I felt my heart breaking. To a million pieces. Cracking and shattering soundlessly as I tried to remain strong.

To not let him see. Him and the stupidly pregnant mistress now standing a few steps behind us on the stairs!

I couldn’t let her see… just how much this killed me. Cause it did. It so very did, and it hurt so damn much!

“I won’t repeat myself Serena.” His voice sounded again as water filled my eyes, no shred of emotion present in his grey eyes no matter how long I stared at them. They were just what they were- cold.

“Sign and let’s be done with this. Else-”

“And if I don’t?” I dared, proud of myself that my voice did nothing to show just how much I was falling apart on the inside. With a glare I held his piercing gaze. “If I don’t sign, what will you do?”

The nerves he had to threaten me! He was the one in the wrong here and I should be the one to cower? For what?!

Why should I when I haven’t done anything wrong in the first place?!

If anyone should have the upper hand here, that should be me!

I should be in charge here; making threats and screaming to the clouds for all I care! How dare he try to threaten me?!

The more I thought of it alone, the greater my fury.

“Stop trying to make a big deal out of this, it doesn’t look good on you.”

Excuse me, what?

“This doesn’t have to end badly for you, Serena. We can-

“End badly for me?” I questioned; my eyebrows furrowed to display my distaste. “Did you just say end badly for me, Eliot?”

He only but smirked arrogantly at my words, a striking familiar look crossing his eyes. “We both know you’re in no capacity to go against me,” he said calmly, his tone condescending enough to let me know just what he thought of me.

“You can’t, even if you wanted to. So let’s not make a big deal out of this. Sign and I will ensure you get what you deserve. You won’t ever have to suffer for the rest of your life, Serena. Sign”

I just stared at him in disbelief, totally flabbergasted to hear him speak to me like that. No real words leaving my lips to fight back such downgrade.

No retort good enough to scream and fight back just how hurtful those words were.

Was he really not sorry at all? Not even a tad bit remorseful for doing all of this? For doing- oh my God…

Yeah, I know. I know very well that I was nothing, absolutely nothing to be compared to him.

I held no real power. No backing to fight even if I wanted to!

He was Eliot Beckett, a regal personality in the city. And me? I was just Serena.

Serena fucking Beckett!

The most insignificant in all of this lavishness, both in my family and here in our home!

Probably why Eliot, a man I had considered to be mine. My husband and family for four whole years, could do this to me. To bring me to such low… and if I said it didn’t hurt, then I would be the world’s best liar!

But still, fact remained that I was his wife. His lawfully wedded wife and nothing could change that. Unless I said otherwise.

And so, I managed to smile through it all. My nails digging deep into my palm as I fought heartbreaking tears from dropping down my eyes. “You’re right,” I said slowly, gathering myself as I held his gaze.

“You’re so right, Eliot. I’m nothing, I have nothing too. But you know what?”

His eyes dimmed at my smiles, faint traces of confusion reflecting in his eyes before they quickly disappeared as usual. “What” he spoke quietly, but it only made me smile more.

Making sure it reached my eyes as I leaned towards him for a bit, “You need me.” I whispered, “As unimportant as I am, you need me. You need me to sign, and because you do need me, I refuse to give you what you want!”

His eyes hardened at my words, watching me lean back defiantly. And with one last glare at his mistress behind I said, “Go prepare to welcome your BASTARD, Eliot. Cause I am not signing!”

And with that, I turned on my heels. Storming right off. Not once looking back, holding my head high… despite the burning pain in my chest. Until finally, that familiar cream door came into view.

My feet growing heavier and heavier with each step. My sight blurring as I tried to keep it all together, to hold on and stay strong until I was behind the safety of those doors. My safe haven… the only place I could properly let it all out.

And by the time I got to it, slamming the door of my room door shut as I ran to that spot in my walk-in closet…it all came crashing down.

My heart, my world, my everything… they all came crashing down! Into a million pieces as I painfully bawled out my eyes. Every sob wrecking through my entire body as the events of today replayed over and over and over again in my head.

Like a broken record.

The negative pregnancy report of me having false pregnancy, the torture of having to endure such news all alone instead of with my partner, and then having the same partner come out of nowhere to say he wanted a divorce. And was expecting a baby with some other woman that wasn’t me.

It all just kept replaying.

I couldn’t get them out. Couldn’t get them to stop either, and the heartaches were no less. “Oh God…oh my God…”

The more I thought about it all the more I cried. And the more I cried the more I realized just how ridiculous my life was.

I thought about calling my mom, but quickly decided against that. Already knowing how that would end for me.

It was already bad enough that Eliot would outrightly do this to me. But to allow my family get wind of this, that would be a death sentence!

One I was totally not in the mood for.

And so, I just stayed there. Sobbed for hours unend until I couldn’t anymore. Just relying on my cozy space to help heal my shattered heart. It was all I had right now any ways.

All my life, I had known only one thing; marry Eliot Beckett.

Marry into Beckett’s family and continue the age long friendship with the Mackwell’s- my family.

It’s all I’ve known, all I’ve been taught and reminded of time and time again while growing up to womanhood. It was my sole purpose- my father’s exact words.

He had done me a favor by keeping me. Raising and clothing an illegitimate child. A bastard child from a mistress. And so, I ought to return his favor. And what other way than been useful in keeping his connection with the powerful Beckett family?

Everything was set in stone and I was groomed to the course. Dedicating my heart into it so as not to shame my father, to show him I could do well too and was just as important as my other siblings.

But looking back now, I’ve realized what a waste my life has been. What a waste, truly.

In a bid to please the man that birthed me, I sacrificed the one thing that actually belonged to me and me alone- the power of choice.

I loved Eliot.

I love Eliot, I have always loved him. Right from when we were introduced, knowing fully well he was to be my husband when I clocked 21.

And all these years that I had grown as a girl, a lady… he was all I thought about. My number one priority, and all I ever wanted.

I lacked nothing any ways. My father ensured I lived well, lacking nothing money could buy as long as I knew what he wanted from me. So I had no complaints or desire for anything, I just wanted to be a good wife. To Eliot.

And I thought I was doing it. I really thought I was…

But now that he was… now that he wanted to divorce me, what would become of my life?

What would I do next? Haven’t I been living in vain?

For a second, I wanted to think this was all a dream. A real bad dream, but the shiny screen of my laptop, displaying my personal journey that i had documented yet again while imagining this wasn’t my life, said otherwise.

This was all real, and it was happening to me.

But the real question is; for how long would I continue to live like this? Documenting the actual happenings of my life like it wasn’t mine, letting other people’s choice determine my life… waiting for Eliot.

Today was an example. My life made no sense. Held no real direction at all, I didn’t even have a job!

My father forbade it. Wanting me to focus my attention on Eliot, and thinking about it all now, it sounded so foolish. So foolish and I could not believe I went along with it.

My entire childhood, marriage and early twenties have all been stolen by him.

And now Eliot, my husband was trying to determine the next phase of my life as well? How many years would this decision of his take from me too; 8 years? 10? 20? 30?!

Why was everyone so obsessed with making decisions for me anyway?

Telling me what I should do and not do! Why?!

I was my own person, “I am my own person! I have a brain too!” I voiced angrily, suddenly pissed off with everything around me. Pissed off at myself for hiding in here when the one to hide was out there in confidence!

“To hell with you Eliot! You and your stupid decisions!” I yelled out angrily as threw off my comfy pillows at a section in the closet.

A frustrated cry building in my throat, “I’m done,” I crocked out, “I’m done obeying anyone! I’m just done!”

From now on I would do what suits me best! When I wanted, and how I liked it! No one pushes me around anymore, no one tells me what to do. I would do what I want!

“Starting with you, Eliot!” I spat with clenched teeth, the light of my laptop screen reflecting on my teary face. Reminding me of my life’s documentation I had initially been doing, and that was when it hit me.

“I can do what I want,” I said to myself, the idea taking root in my mind. “I can do… WHATEVER I want”

And so I did just that!

Eagerly wiping my dripping eyes and getting to work. The sounds of my fingers typing away on my laptop filling the air as did the one thing I had always thought about but never dared to do. “And… posted!”

There.

Eat my dust, Eliot!