CHAPTER 1: THE JOURNEY

CARA’S P.O.V

I took the last dress from my wardrobe, neatly folded it and placed it into my suitcase. With half my suitcase being empty, I scanned around my room to see if there was anything that I would have forgotten but in my tiny room that barely had anything except a small mirror and a little table in front of it, on which I kept my hairbrush and a cupboard that I kept my five dresses confirmed that there was nothing that I could possibly forget.

I zipped up my suitcase and closed my room door. I stopped to look at the photo which hung on our short passage, one last time, hoping that the image will engrave itself in my memory. It was a picture of my Mum, Dad, sister and I. Although we just managed three meals a day, we were happy and the smiles on this photo was proof. My Dad worked hard to feed us and he made sure to get mum her medication. If he was still alive, I would have done my last year in medical college this year but unfortunately for us, my father was murdered leaving my family and I not only heartbroken but poverty-stricken as well. So instead of packing my bags to go back to college, I had to pack my bags to go to work. All my college funds allowed us to survive the year without any income, giving me a chance to finish my second last year but now that they ran out, someone had to provide for my family so that my mum and younger sister could eat and so that my mum can receive her medication and have a chance to win the battle that she has been fighting for three long years. That person had to be me!

“Mum?” I whispered as I pushed open her bedroom door, revealing her bony figure as she laid in bed, maintaining just enough energy to be awake. “Cara, come in darling.” she said. “Mum, I’m ready to go now,” a lump formed in my throat as I fought my tears. I perched on the side of her bed as I took her weak hand in mine. “Don’t go, Cara! You don’t need to do this! I need you here with me…Everything will be better soon, I don’t have much time left but when I leave, I would not leave the both of you in this poverty that we are in right now! The insurance will pay out Cara, you can finish your studies and Joyce can finish the schooling career, then you will get a job as a doctor and everything will be okay!” she tried to convince me to stay like she has been doing since the time my grandmother called and said that the employers who she serves have a job available for me. “Mum! Don’t say stuff like that! Do you really think that the insurance money is going to substitute for having you around? Mum, I would go to the ends of the Earth to keep you alive. I love you so much mum!” I could no longer hold back my tears and neither could she. “Cara my darling, I love you too and that is why I need you here with me! Something doesn’t feel right! I can’t help but get this feeling that if you walk through that door, I will never get my Cara back! Something is wrong about this job and that is why I would rather have you here with me, where my precious daughter is safe and sound. Where you can take care of me and I can take care of you!” she said, her words were truthful as I could see the fear in her eyes. “Mum, Joyce is here to take care of you and I will work there to take care of you! Don’t you worry mum, everything will be okay! I will make it okay! I promise!  And nothing is going to happen to me, nothing can happen to me because you brought up two strong girls! Bedsides I doubt that Grandma would put me in danger. Grandma said that they are extremely rich and that they will pay well! She said that the wage will be so high, in fact, that I will be able to afford to pay Joyce’s fees so that she can finish school, I will also have enough money to afford your medication and provide for both of you to have three healthy meals a day.” I explained to her, my eyes lit up as I spoke, thinking about how I will be able to drag my family out of poverty. However, my mother’s eyes remained pale. “My darling. I cannot allow you to sacrifice yourself for us! You are my child, how can a mother allow her child to make such a great sacrifice! I know that you hate hearing this but the truth is that my time is almost up Cara, the medications will just buy me a pinch of the hourglass and a day-long of pain. I’m alive Cara but I’m barely living. It is not worth it! I want you here with me!” she begged. “Gosh, mum! You are making it seem as if I am going to donate my organs or something! That is not what is happening! I am going to work, as a servant for a rich family but always bear in mind that many other servants are working in that estate and the workload is very light. It will be a breeze mum. Besides, I already spoke to the doctor and we will be changing your medication to one that works a lot better, all your pain will be gone and hopefully you would be cured soon.” I said and got off the bed to leave. “Cara, there are some things about this world that you don’t know! Cara, sometimes we experience things and those things can change us. Cara, I know that you will not come back and I am not ready to lose you! You are so full of life and happiness that you can brighten this whole house with your charisma…but in my nightmares all I see around you is darkness. Don’t go Cara, something awful is going to happen!” she said, she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. “I am going mum! And I will come back! And I will be absolutely fine! Don’t you forget whose daughter I am. My heart is made of gold and my soul out of steel. I can face anything!” I repeated the words she always told me since I was little. Kissing her on her forehead, I left the room before I can hear any more of her nagging. As soon as I shut the door, I broke down, it pained me to leave her especially after her begging me to stay. I hate the fact that it worries her so much that she is actually having nightmares, but on the other hand, all of this anxiety could be a side effect of the medication which is helping her live a little longer but adding to her worry and doing nothing to ease her pain. That is another reason why I have to leave, the medication that can help her much better is also much more expensive and that is why I need to go! With this thought, I picked my sobbing self off the floor, wiped my tears, took a deep breath in, built my courage, held my head high and headed towards the door.

“Joyce,” I hugged my sister who was waiting to say her goodbyes in our small living room which didn’t have any couches or even a television. “Cara! I’m going to miss you so much.” she held me tightly as her tears wet my shoulder. “I’ll come to visit. I promise. And when I come I will bring lots of gifts for you!” I told her and a bright smile formed on her innocent face. “I will be looking forward to that. I’ll call you,” she said. “I’ll send you money to call me” I replied and we laughed. “Take care of mum, Joyce, and yourself as well,” I said to her, my tone serious as those were the last words I said to my sister before I could leave.

Closing our front door with a heavy heart and I walked to the bus stop. “Cara, wait!” I turned around to see Edwin running behind me. “Ed?” I said I had another breakdown at the sight of him because I won’t just be leaving my mum and sister but I would be leaving my lover as well. “Do you have to go Cara? I mean, I could get a job and we could get married! We can find a way to get through this,” he took both my hands in his. “Ed, when you get a job you will need to help to provide for your family. Your situation at home isn’t any better than ours. I wish that there was another way but Eddy there isn’t. You and I both know that,” I said as his fingers lightly brushed my cheeks, wiping away my tears. “Okay, let me at least walk you to the bus stop then,” he said, picking up my light suitcase. “Sure,” I said, happy to be spending a few more minutes with the guy that I loved with all my heart since high school.