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Coffee, Control, & The Lack of Both
publish date:
2025-07-16 16:46:29
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TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN The Blue Beneath the Black
My stomach wrung itself out until my ribs felt ready to come loose. Every heave made my neck flare again, right where the needle had gone in. Like someone kept striking a tiny match beneath my skin.I tried to lift a hand over my mouth, but my fingers only clawed at the air before finding Zach’s chest again. My nails might have gone through the fabric and into his skin.The next wave brought up less. Acid and bitterness burned the back of my tongue until my whole mouth tasted like a leaking battery. I choked, coughed, my jaw still locked tight, every breath splitting into a rough sound that hurt my own ears.“Medico.”“Adesso.”“Move.”“No one touches her unless I say.”Zach’s voice echoed above my head.Another hand came close. I felt it more like a shadow than an actual touch.My shoulder jerked. My fingers tightened again.Zach growled. “Back off.”He pulled me closer against his familiar chest.His warmth pressed into my cheek, and some small part of me recognized the rhythm of hi
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Not the Worst Thing I’ve Tasted
Zach’s voice was still here.Or what was left of Zach’s voice.It was hard to tell, because everything was starting to sound like someone had sunk the entire club to the bottom of an expensive hotel pool. Gunshots became dull thuds. People’s screams turned into bubbles. The music that had been pounding through the floor now felt like the bass was pulsing underneath my own skin.I’m still in his arms.I knew because something hard and warm was keeping my body from hitting the ground. One arm beneath my back. One hand against the side of my jaw. His thumb rested on my cheekbone, far too steady for a world that had already begun breaking into pieces.I tried to open my mouth and say something, but my tongue wouldn’t move.A pinpoint of heat flared at my neck where the needle had pierced me. At first, it was just a quick sting—like a pissed-off bee taking a cheap shot—sharp and annoying as hell, but nothing that screamed danger.Then it spread, like someone was pouring boiling tequila dir
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Too Pretty to Die Quietly
Zach didn’t answer fast enough.I looked at Diego. “Papa know?”Diego fired toward the bar. “We only found out when they breached the perimeter.”“The perimeter?” I let out a short laugh. “I went out for a drink. I wasn’t attending a NATO summit.”“Señorita…”“Don’t Señorita me right now, Diego.”Zach turned his head slightly. “Focus.”I stared at his back. “Don’t give me orders like I’m your wife.”“If you were my wife, I would’ve tied you to a chair fifteen minutes ago.”I smiled thinly. “Very healthy fantasy.”He fired to the side without taking his eyes off me. The man trying to move in from the left jerked back, his weapon dropping, his body hitting the floor.Zach kept looking at me.Kept.Looking at me.“This is not the time to fight me,” he said.“I’m not fighting you.”“Krystal.”“I’m considering my options.”“Your option is staying alive.”I didn’t answer.“For once, use that brain of yours to survive instead of stabbing at me.” He moved half an inch closer, close enough tha
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Blood & Neon
The glass blew inward, rough and brutal.A mess.Shards hit the floor, the tables, the shoulders of people ducking for cover. They bounced off my shoes and caught in my hair like confetti from hell.Zach shoved me down with one hand at the back of my neck.My chest hit his waist. My knees slammed into the floor, sticky with tequila and something I very much hoped wasn’t blood.Cheap alcohol, cigarette smoke, sweat, sweet perfume, and gunpowder all tangled in my nose. Five minutes ago, this club had been ugly in a fun way. Now it looked like someone had taken a bad decision, handed it an automatic weapon, and told it to run.“Zach…”“Shut up.”Naturally, a shootout was when his control issues decided to make a full comeback.I resisted the urge to bite his calf.Another shot hit the bar behind us. Bottles shattered. Brown and clear liquor sprayed everywhere like expensive rain with no class. People screamed.A woman crawled under a table with one shoe missing. Nicolás, the guy in the d
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN A Kiss, a Lie, a Gunshot
He kissed me back.And it should have satisfied me.It should have.But Zach Romano had a way of turning defeat into something that still felt like a win, especially when I was the idiot standing there breathless because of him.His hand cradled the back of my head, his fingers sliding into my hair, already half-loose from the claw clip, pulling me close enough that my breath snagged in my throat. His mouth pushed deeper against mine, and my knees, traitorous little idiots, gave up immediately.Damn it.I kissed him back. I wasn’t a saint, and he wasn’t some moral test I could pass with one quick prayer.Both my hands rose to his neck and locked him, my fingers brushing the warm skin just beneath his hairline. He tensed beneath my fingers, just enough to give himself away. I liked knowing I could do that to him. I liked it too much. So I pulled him closer.A low sound rumbled out of his throat.Music slammed in from every direction. Someone near the bar shrieked with laughter. Shoes c
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Lola & the Don
Shit.Shit shit shit.I turned slowly, very slowly, because some things were easier to face if you didn’t look at them directly. War and taxes... or an ex-kidnapper too handsome for national security.And here he was....Zachary Romano.All sharp eyes, black hair, and expensive danger. The kind of beautiful that made smart women forget they were supposed to know better.He stood too close behind me, wearing a black T-shirt and dark jeans, looking unfairly good for a man who had no business being in this club. His short black hair was messy, his bangs falling slightly over his forehead. His eyes were sharp and calm. Too Zach.How long had it been since I last saw that face?I didn’t know.I forgot.But ...lie.I remembered.The last time I saw him, I was still in his bed, breathless, furious, and far too aware of every place he’d touched me. Then he walked away like he hadn’t just ruined me for sport.Longing rose in my chest.Slight. Warm.Ew....I immediately threw it far away, to wh
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Sing Me Into Sin
I didn’t know what kind of curse lived in this place, but I woke up with a light head and a back still warm from thick linen sheets in that damn stone room.Which was wild, considering I’d spent the whole night staring at the ceiling, listening to the echo of my own breath, replaying that kiss.Tha
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Careful, I Bite Back
I heard the rumble of a heavy engine pulling into the villa’s courtyard just as the sky outside the kitchen window turned a deep violet.I was still perched on a tall barstool, absentmindedly spinning a teaspoon in my now-cold coffee. My heart refused to race... but my body, as always, betrayed me.
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Boots, Blood, and Boardwalk
After lunch, I sat on one of the tall barstools near the kitchen island. My chin rested in my palm as I stared at Aldo, who stood stiffly in the corner like a dead-eyed statue carved from boredom and body armor.I let out a dramatic sigh, loud enough to pierce whatever brain he had behind that blan
TO HATE, TO TOUCH, TO RUIN Too Spicy
I watched her back as she arranged vegetables inside the oversized fridge. I grabbed a large pot and set it on the induction stove. My hands moved easily, tearing open the packaging on the fresh beef. The raw, iron-heavy smell hit my nose, awakening a low, lazy hunger deep in my stomach.“Hey,” I c
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