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CHAPTER 32: JACK
Saying that being in a car with Sandra for eight hours would be a damn nightmare was the biggest fuckin' lie I've ever said.
It was hell. Every motel we passed by I wanted to park in, rent a room and take her in there and not leave until tomorrow. Every. Fucking. Motel.
But I didn't want to fuck her. Oh no, not Sandra. I wanted to make love to her. I wanted to kiss every inch of that soft, golden skin, run my hands over every curve, and move inside her until she screams. Because I already knew she does, and now I'd admitted to myself that I felt something for her – and I mean really feel something for her – I wanted it to be more than a quick fuck somewhere in a parking lot. I wanted it to be special. More than anything I've ever experienced.
She dropped her bag at the bottom of the king bed in our room in Treasure Island and looked around. Mom offered to book me a suite, but somehow I knew this would be enough for Sandra. Judging by the look on her
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 33: SANDRA
The Kambaya party bar was tiki. Maybe Hawaiian. Personally, I always thought they were the same – and maybe they are.Or maybe that was the wine already clouding my vision, so perhaps the margarita Maggie just handed me wasn't a smart idea. I had drunk it anyway because these girls had successfully corrupted me from the good girl I was a few weeks ago, to the semi-bad girl I am now.I said semi-bad because I hadn't had sex yet. Glancing up at Jack next to me, I thought I might have to remedy that night. Then we will have a pretty little New York Sandra and California Sandra with a dash of Jack Sandra all rolled into one.What a delightful little package that'll be.I accepted Leila's hand when she held it out to me to dance. My thoughts were getting morbid, and I wouldn't let my past ruin this weekend for Jack. He deserved a good birthday.Servers danced between tables, swaying their hips and the flair bartenders threw cocktails shakers around. If I was ten years younger, I'd absolute
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 34: JACK
I was falling in love with Sandra. I knew it. It was her laugh, her smile, her everything. For something that started off as a game, it was damn real now. It was more real than anything I' had ever felt in my life.It was not even sex – although that was fucking amazing. A part of me knew I could live without sex if it meant I could be with her. And I wouldn't give up sex for anything.Especially not when a red dress that hugs every inch of every curve I've touched was being worn by the girl in question.But no. Sandra was more than that. She was just more. She was a little broken, a little cracked, but she was also a whole lot of something I can't even describe. She was filling a part of me I didn't even know was empty.I slinked up behind her, sliding my hands onto her hips and kissing the exposed skin of her neck. She finished brushing her hair and turned her face into me. A small smile graced her glossy pink lips.“What?” she asked.“I like this dress,” I replied.“So do I.”“I th
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 35: SANDRA
The urge to rip down the multicolored poster on the wall was almost stifling. It felt.... wrong.... to have it up there. Especially since it should be coming down anyway. After all....Challenge complete.I was pretty sure he was in love with me, and we definitely had sex. Very good sex. Done. I should be laughing with the girls, drinking a celebratory bottle of whatever we wanted and remembering all the times. Instead, I was remembering every touch of his skin on mine, every whispered word and how he held me so closely, how he looked at me as if I was the only girl in the world.To him, I could be.The problem.... He was pretty much the only guy in the world. And I never planned on that, so I was pretty screwed.I never planned on him being so different to Patrick. I never planned on everything I thought I knew about him, all my pre-conceived notions about how he should act being stripped away and leaving him completely bare like a blank canvas. He took that blank canvas and painted
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 36: JACK
In approximately two days, this relationship should be over.But it wouldn't be. I couldn't see myself letting her go now.Ever since we returned from Vegas, we had been together almost constantly. It was as if me realizing I was in love with her had changed everything.She had changed, too, though. She laughed more now. She smiled more. Sandra had a little light in her eyes that wasn't there before.She pressed a soft kiss to my lips, and I circled her waist with my arms, pulling her in closer to me. She squealed a little and placed her hands on my shoulders to steady herself. Her fingers dug in, and it made me pull her closer. Her knees bent, and I opened my legs so she could rest them on the chair. She did, and I slid my hands down to her hips.“Can I help you?” I pulled back slightly and smiled at her. Her eyes fluttered open, and she nodded, pulling the corner of her top lip into her mouth. “What is it, Angel?”“Let’s dance." She straightened, taking my hands from her hips and li
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 37: SANDRA
I relaxed back on the bed a little. For the first time in months, I felt like I could actually let go.Patrick had left California – I didn't need to be a mind-reader, but he had no reason to stay here. I made it clear that he wasn't getting any help from me anymore. I had my own life to think about now, my own growing up to do. I couldn't be the grown up for both of us anymore.And judging by the still-untitled essay on the page in front of me, I had a long way to go on the growing up scale. But life was like an essay: you just have to find the right words to put it together.Someone knocked at the door quietly. I frowned and looked at Maggie. She shrugged a shoulder and focused back on her school work. I moved my books over and slid off the bed, wondering who it could be. Leila would walk right in and Kayle... Well, it was no surprise we had no idea where she was.Jack's bright blue eyes crashed into mine when I opened the door. Shit shit shit shit!“What are you doing here?” I hiss
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 38: JACK
Something in me shattered as I walked away from her. I didn't know what it was, and I couldn't think straight enough to even care what it was. I just knew it was a big part of me – a big part of me that was all about her.“Fuck!” I punched the wall outside the frat house and rested my head against it. “Fuck,” I muttered more quietly, pushing off of it and storming through the door.The door slammed into the wall behind it, the noise rebounding off the walls of the hallway. I kicked it shut behind me, seeing red everywhere. Anger was all I could let myself feel.But anger at what? Her? Me? Anger because I fell? Anger because she played me like I should have her?“What the hell?” Austin's face appeared at the top of the stairs. “Jack?”I looked up at him, my chest heaving as I tried to control the bubbling emotions in my chest. I gripped the banister with a shaking hand and ran up the stairs two at a time, my shoulder knocking into Austin as I passed him.“Dude? What?” He threw his arms
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 39: SANDRA
I hadn't seen him for five days. I hadn't been to English because I was not ready to see him. The pain without him was bad enough. That all-encompassing loneliness. I didn't realize how much he took away the pain until.... Until he stopped being there to take it from me. I thought seeing him now would make it impossible. It was bad enough in my other classes – snide, triumphant looks from other girls, appreciative glances from the guys – all because I was not his anymore. All because it went the way everyone always thought it would. I never imagined it'd hurt so much. But Jack was right. I got what I wanted – what I originally wanted. Right now, I'd like nothing more than to have him wrap his arms around me and kiss the corners of my eyes, like he always used to whenever I was upset. But it was not like that anymore. I held my books tighter to my chest and ducked my head, hiding behind my hair. I'd dealt with pain before. I had suffered loss and heartbreak, I could do it again. It
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 40: JACK
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck and another fuck.I stared at the space she just left through. A great, big, gaping hole. That was what she does.She comes into your life in a wild burst of color, filling an empty space you didn't know was there. And when she leaves, she takes it all with her, painting it in shades of black and white.I pushed off the wall. I was determined to find her and explain. Two hands grabbed my arms.“Jack, leave her, bro.” Austin tugged me back. “Let her calm down.”Calm down? “No. Fuck no.”“Jack.” Maggie appeared in front of me and I tried to focus on her. “He's right. She needs to calm down.”“No,” I argued. “She needs to know the truth, Maggy! She needs to know the damn truth!”“And she will.” She cupped my face and made me look at her. Made me focus. “She will, when she's calm. She's hurtin', Jack. Let her deal with it.”Hurt. Hurt that I put there.Prick.I shook off Josh and Austin and headed for the backyard, slamming the door open hard. I stormed to the side of
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