Take me, I am yours

My life has changed a lot in a short time. I look around the dimly lit room, and it's nothing like where I used to live. But despite waking up from a scary dream that really shook me, I can't help but smile.

I can't remember the details of the nightmare, just that it was scary and I had to struggle to wake up. I can't believe how different my life has become in just a few weeks. I know how I ended up here, but it's hard to grasp how everything has changed so much.

That nightmare still bothers me, and I hope it's not true. Usually, I try to forget it, to push it away. It's not like me at all to dwell on these things.

Someone has come into my life and transformed me in ways I never expected, and now I hardly recognise myself. Well, that's not entirely true. I see a version of myself that I lost years ago. I wish I could figure out where things are headed, but right now, it feels like I'm losing control of my life.

I was happily ensconced in my little routine. I'd go to university, then work, and then I'd go home—an uncomplicated and straightforward life. 

He's turned everything upside down; I can't find my way back, and even if I could, I don't think I'd want to. He makes me happy, sitting here on his bed, still somewhat shaken up. I can't conceive of anything else but the same recurring nightmare. 

Is he making me happy enough, or is this just one big mistake? The sound of the door opening, and I know instantly it is him. I don't even need to look up. When he walks into a room, I pick up on it straight away. Raising my head, I look towards the door. Sure enough, there he is.

"Good morning, Kitten. You look refreshed." I can't help but grin at him. Somehow, he has defied all odds. He has made me want to live life again and love it.

"I guess I have you to thank for that," I say sheepishly. My cheeks are flushing pink. Even after he's seen me at my most vulnerable, I still feel insecure. I can't help but avert my eyes whenever he calls me Baby or Kitten.

"So, I thought that maybe today we could have some fun?" His body begins climbing onto the bed as I start laughing. His eyes are looking at me amused. "No, I don't mean that kind of fun, unless that's what you require. I mean, we could always stay in all day and explore each other some more..." His body moves closer to mine. 

How is he always in such a good mood? His hands grab my body, and I can't help but laugh as I jump back. My hands are throwing up, telling him to stop.

"No, Sean. I think we can behave for today. I have things that I need to do anyway. I have to go to my apartment, as I haven't been back there in ages." I watch as he pouts, looking down at me. My breathing begins to quicken under his gaze. I need to, and I need to say no.

I have a life, which right now I haven't even seen in what feels like years. I am happy with that, though, but today I have to get back to the real world." Plus, I promised Ian I'd meet up with him and his girlfriend. "I did. I've got to admit, I have missed my apartment so much, and it seems like forever since I last saw my friends. 

We've spent weeks in his room, hardly leaving. I skipped school, and I am guessing I lost my job as well now. I can't stop myself, though; something about him draws me in. He makes me want to say yes, to stay here with him and forget the outside world. I am falling, fast and hard, and the ground is not strong enough to stop me once I hit. I will keep going, crazy, I know. After a few weeks, I already feel like I love him. "Fine, come on, babes. Let's get you home." Moving, I get ready before we walk out to the car. Sitting, he drives, my mind reminding me I have shopping to do.

"Hey, can you drop me at the centre? I need to grab a few things. I will make my way home from there." I smile at him and give him a slight nudge as he drives. I don't want him waiting for me to finish shopping just to take me home.

"Of course, babes." We stay quiet, fifteen minutes passing by. Finally, we reached the centre. He parks up and smiles at me. Leaning forward, I kiss him before climbing out of the car.

"Catch you after, Kitten." He smiles before driving off down the street. Turning, I walk into the shops. Shopping is dull. As always, I'm not too fond of shopping. I detest a lot of girl stuff; just give me a blanket and a movie, and I am happy – shopping, nails, hair, all that. However, I just can't find myself doing it. 

Getting home, the flat is quiet, too quiet, in fact. It feels so surreal. I haven't been alone for weeks now. Things have changed so much, and there is no going back now. There is no way I can go back to the person I used to be. 

Walking about the flat, I can't help but smile seeing the kitchen, which changed so much in one night. Even so, I still feel a sense of doom. The feeling is never leaving, no matter what I do. My birthday was a night that changed so much.