Moaning behind closed doors(1)

CHAPTER 1

Jackie wasn’t sure when practice had started to feel different. Maybe it was the way she stayed behind a little longer after drills, pretending to tie her laces just to catch one last glimpse of Coach Kenny pacing the field. Or how her chest tightened slightly when he called her name during drills…it was so calm, steady, and always focused. Or the way he made her feel seen in a world that never really noticed her.

She told herself it was nothing.

”it’s just a part of the game”she muttered. But lately, football wasn’t the only thing on her mind when she stepped onto that field.

“Ugh,” Jackie murmured, dragging her hands down her face as if that could wipe the thoughts away.

Why am I like this?she groaned inwardly, trying to push out the image of Coach Kenny…his voice, his smile, his stupidly perfect jawline…out of her head.

This is wrong. He’s my coach, she reminded herself for what felt like the hundredth time.

She stared blankly at the ceiling, still lost in her own head.

“He’s older than me”, she whispered to herself, like saying it out loud might make the feeling disappear.

But it didn’t.

Jackie had been like this for months…watching him from across the field, noticing every little thing about him, catching herself smiling when he said her name. Sure, he wasn’t that much older..he was twenty-two,she was seventeen. Just five years.

But sometimes, she liked to pretend that the age gap was more than it was..like it would make it easier for her to let go.

Except, it never did!

It was Friday afternoon, and Jackie stepped out of the stuffy classroom feeling like her brain had been melted by the periodic table. Chemistry had never been her thing. The formulas, the symbols, the endless balancing of equations…it was all pointless to Jackie. She didn’t see how or why it mattered, not when her thoughts were so often somewhere else…or rather, with someone else.

As she made her way towards the locker room for practice, she hung her bag lazily over one of her shoulders, she let out a quiet sigh.

If there was one kind of chemistry that ever made sense to her, it wasn’t the kind they taught in school or the kinds that she read in textbooks. It was the kind she imagined when Coach Kenny looked towards her direction, when his hand brushed past hers during drills, or when his voice, low and steady, called her name from across the field.

She knew it was all in her head. Harmless thoughts, daydreams really. But still, they came…always uninvited and far too often.

Jackie changed into her gear slowly, her mind drifting again. Coach Kenny.

He wasn’t just good looking, there was something about the way he carried himself…calm, confident, always in control..that just made Jackie fall more and more into the pool of lust she seemed to be drowning in.

The way he seemed older, but not in a crazy way. It was that quiet intensity that pulled her in, it made her wonder if he ever thought about her the same way she thought about him.

She shook her head, forcing the thoughts away.

“Focus”, she told herself…

”It’s just practice”.

But even as she tied her laces and walked out to the field, a small smile played on her lips.

Some parts of her didn’t really want the daydream to end…but it had to, she needed to focus on the game.

Jackie managed to get through the practice game they had without head overflowing with wild imaginations of her coach. As soon as she heard the whistle that ended the game, followed by coach Kenny’s voice..

”alright guys..that’s it for today..go freshen up” he said.

He was talking to everyone but somehow in Jackie’s head..it seemed like he was just caring for her because he was looking her way when he said so.

Maybe..just maybe she wasn’t imagining all this. Maybe he was actually thinking of her the same way she had been thinking of him.

Jackie zoned out..having her little daydream sesh while sitting on the bench. Everyone cleared out of the field. Coach Kenny was just about to leave the field when he noticed she was still there…

Jackie…you alright? He asked while walking towards her direction.

“Yes coach”…said Jackie,trying to act like she didn’t just think of him in the most lustful way possible…

”I’m just a little tired”.

“Here..let me help you” said coach Kenny as he reached for her hand.

The soft touch of his hand against hers did something to her.

Why am I feeling this way?..she asked herself…he’s my coach..she reminded herself for the hundredth and one time.

He helped her up and walked her to the locker room. It was empty..all the other kids had already left.

“Freshen up”..he said looking right in the middle of her head..he was wayyy taller than she was.

His height was part of his perfect features that made Jackie thirst for him.

Jackie didn’t seem to hear what he said so he tapped her forehead playfully…

”Jackie!! I said…freshen up” he said while looking into her eyes..she was already looking at him.

Their eyes met and for the first time it seemed like he was thirsty for her too..the look Jackie got from him was unfamiliar….he kept staring and it seemed like he was staring into her soul…too lost to look away.

Coach Kenny had not looked at Jackie that way before.

She felt this sense of relief.

At least I wasn’t the only one feeling this way…she thought to herself.

She didn’t know what to do..she didn’t want to break the eye contact but still she felt like they’ve been staring at each other for what felt like forever.

Then impulsively…she kissed him!

He wasn’t reluctant..he kissed her back…with enough passion to convince Jackie that he’d wanted her for a very long time.

Jackie felt this sense of euphoria..FINALLY..it was happening.

The moment she’d only imagined and dreamt about for months now…it was playing out.

She put her hand over his neck giving him enough space to grab her slim waist.

He pulled her closer..deepening their kiss.

They made their way across the room, to the door.

He grabbed one of her legs and pushed her against the door as he struggle to lock it..he was so aggressive yet so gentle.