Happiness, what is it?

How can we define happiness? What is real happiness?

To answer their question, I should know first what is the feeling of being genuinely happy so I can respond to it correctly. But, how can I do that when I have no idea anymore? When did I last feel the warmth of happiness? I think it’s been a decade… My grandparents died long ago same goes for those warm feelings I once had.

"What is it for? "Answering that question won't change anything," I said as I stood, my reflection in the glass window of Rage's office allowing me to see myself and how messed up I am right now. This time, the clothes that my servant meticulously ironed looked like crumpled paper.

They both look at me, but their expressions are different. One is disappointed, one is perplexed, but it really doesn't matter... I look at Rage, who shakes his head slowly and chuckles briefly, his hand now focusing on my waist and his grip tightening.

"You never fail to amuse me, for years we've been together, I can't help but see you as a cute little bunny inside of the big bad wolf identity," he says under his hot breath. “However, do not really act like that in front of me too often; I may very well eat you alive." His words puzzle me.

I'm not sure what I'm hearing; all I can understand is that he's going to eat me alive. But isn't he already done it? I simply cannot help but clear my throat; how can I even think that in front of two Alphas who were behaving strangely simply because of me?

"See? Even if you keep telling me that you are his predestined mate, that thing won't stop me. Your omega doesn't even have the intention of clinging to you like he used to," Rage said as he stood up and walked confidently toward Arther.

All I could do was stare at them as they tried to figure each other out. Their gaze was ferocious as when they were prepared to murder each other... I want to understand and know why Arther acts as if he cares about me to this extent, but I don't want to let myself down. I know he just felt obligated because I rescued him.

I reach Rage’s hand and stop him from walking closer to where Arther is, this topic won’t end if they will continue. Rage has no reason to tell Arther more words about it, everything is worthless. Fortunately, he stops and tilts his head toward me. “What, why did you stop me?” His perfect shape eyebrows almost tangled.

I sigh and shake my head, “stop it, there’s no need for you to tell him that. Just how you describe the relationship between me and Arther, there is no special string attached, right?” My eyes that look on the floor shift to Arther, “I am right, Arther? Only the word fated is the reason I saved him, so there is no reason for you to guard me against another Alpha, Rage.”

I might sound so desperate or bitter, however, that is not the issue. I just want to leave this room immediately and go where Arther can no longer look at me, In the past, I dreamed that those red eyes of his will look at me directly at least once. A stare with emotion but not hate and disgust, but I didn’t receive anything like that.

And, I never expect that he will in the future after I finally receive the news about him letting the other Alpha to use him. I rub my nape, this place will never be marked; not now and even in the future. I won’t anyone to mark me even its Arther…

I have no care now, even if they call me an omega who had no mate. I can protect myself from predators, I won’t let them eat me alive… I look at Rage, if only from the very start he was my mate then I will consider the marking.

Rage takes off my hand but immediately holds it again, right now, I am not the one who’s holding but he is. He squeezes it, I hear his low groan. “Alright, I will stop now. Go and do your work, let’s see each other again later to have lunch together.” He smiles at me genuinely.

That is what he said yet his hand is still holding me tightly as if I was going somewhere, and he can’t find me again. If only, this man was for me then maybe my love life was also full of love and happiness. But I don’t want to be greedy just because of that, like me, Rage has his own predestined mate.

I don’t want to snatch him to that omega, I already know the feeling to have a mate but was in love with another one, I can’t let someone to experience it too and the cause is me. I also have no courage to take a risk for it, there is no certainty that Rage will stay by my side after he meets his own mate.

I nod my head and pull my hands from him, “yes, I will message you later. Let’s meet outside in the building and eat at my sister's restaurant.” I shortly replied.

I can see how his face beams because of what I said, maybe he did not expect that I will invite him in front of Arther… Well, it will be impossible for me to ask Arther to eat there even if I want to… Cas is not on good terms with him. On the other hand, Rage was on the good side of my sister to the point that she pushes me to marry him.

“That’s great! I missed all their food there, it’s been a week since we last ate together in her restaurant. Oh! I might meet her today, right? Maybe we should grab something before meeting her…” I cut his words.

“You don’t need to do that, just your face, Cas will more than be happy.” I almost roll my eyes just as my sister like him.

Rage chuckles, “then fine,” he replies and wave his hand.

Walking outside of the room make me feel relieve but the same time, nervous as I and Arther walk together.  Only the sound of our footstep can be hear in the surrounding, every step I make feels so heavy; same goes to my neck that I stop from looking even in my side view.

It’s given a great feeling as I arrive in front of my office, finally, I can be alone now. “Let’s go do our work, the note from my previous secretary was also in your table so just read it for you to know what you should finish or do next.” I said and was about to open my door.

However, Arther slam his palm in my left side that startled me from the bottom of my heart. “Why can’t you answer my question earlier, Dan? Did he threaten you to be with him or something, maybe I can help you?” He said with pull of worry in his voice.

Damn, it must be nice hearing those words if only I hear it in the past. But this time, it’s creeping me out now… Every time he was acting strange toward me give it a chill in my whole body and made me think that I’m going to die unexpectedly.

“If you are just going to keep me ask about it, then I rather choice you to apply for another job. I might be your predestined mate, Arther. Nevertheless, don’t forget that I am your boss when it’s still time for work.” I push his hand hastily, “get out of my way,” I said seriously.