Chapter 8: Her Pain

I was supposed to sit on the back ride, but Xalent preceded me. I rub my forehead and my hands tightened to the strap of my bag.

"Just sit inside." I could do nothing but go inside. I don't want to complain to him because it is a waste of our time.

This isn't my first time riding an automobile. I used to commute when Daddy is using our car. We only had one car before so I needed to take an automobile. But everything changed when I entered high school, since our business had grown so Daddy decided to bought another one. I'm using the old one, while he had the BMW he bought.

"You... okay, there?" I looked up and saw Xalent glimpsing at me. I also have someone next to me, I think she is Xalent's batch mate. By just looking at her, I feel insecure and I don't know why.

"Y-yeah," I stuttered in response. I don’t really know why my tongue twists every time I answer him.

The automobile started to run. The road here at the school is not uneven because the mayor repaired the road last year. But entering our village was so rough. It is a little struggle for me because the automobile keeps on jumping a little bit. After all, riding a car is much more manageable. I close my eyes every time I bump into the roof of the automobile.

When we entered the entrance of our village, the woman next to me instantly departed so I was the only one left inside. Our house is at the other end of the street. It is also very close and I can still endured every bump of my head into the roof.

"Just here," I heard Xalent say so I looked at the corner. This is the second corner. I have three more to go home.

"Bye." I nodded to him and the tricycle moved again.

The automobile is stopping every time there is a passenger who'll be riding. This is so hassle. I remember before... I would get in early because the automobile would fill up at that time, especially when it was busy. It's a good thing I didn't get late, back then. Because if getting late will continue, I am sure that I'm going to be expelled.

When I finally arrived, I directly paid and entered our house. Some of our maids greeted me and invited me to eat. I just nodded and rushed to my room. I will eat later at eight o'clock because I will wait for my devilish cousin. That is why I don't want her presence near me because she's totally a pain in my ass. It would be nice if she was a woman who only knows how to read books that can make her the next Einstein, but she seems to be reading something else.

At eight o'clock, my cousin still wasn't home. So I decided to went down and eat, I'm so hungry. Upon arrival at the dining area, there are ready meals and dishes. I sat down immediately and spooned something to eat.

The aroma of each food makes me hungrier. And no one should stop me from eating the delicious meals in front of me.

"Couz!" I was about to spit out what I was eating when Dey suddenly pulled my hair. I groaned because of the pain of she's doing. I almost stabbed her with the fork I was holding.

"What the heck!" I turned to her and give her a scowled. 

Messy hair, the dress is still fine but the strap has dropped a bit on her shoulder, her lipstick is also scatter and most of all she is wearing only one heel and she is holding the other one like a crazy woman in town. I frowned but she smiled widely at me. 

She's so wasted! Disgusting.

"Yuck! Look at yourself, couz. You're ugly. Seems like you're going to give yourself to every men you will see." She rolled her eyes and about to sit down when I instantly grabbed her arms.

Is she lucky? Eating with such a disgusting image? No way!

"Ops! Don't sit and eat here until you're well. You disgusting witch! You have a depravity to me! We'll be facing each other one on one, later. But fix yourself first!" She immediately ran to my room. 

As if she's scared, that one is just tweaking me. My goodness! Such a brat.

Dey came back and quickly sat down next to me. She looks starving when she put the different foods in her plate. I shook my head while glimpsing at her.

Isn't she eating? My goodness gracious! I remember that she didn't have a money. But how come she bought a liquor? 

"How did you drink?" I asked while praising my toasted chicken. This is my favorite food. Nothing can stop me when it comes to toasted chicken.

"Duh! Of course, using my mouth."

"Witch!" I pulled her hair. "I mean... How come you drank alcohol, you don't have money, do you? Aunt didn't give you, right?"

"I tease, sis. That's it! And my price is the golden liquor. Imagine, he waste his dollars for the most expensive liquor that I pointed." She even acted like he was licking the toasted chicken.

Ewww! I lost my craving.

I was about to stand up but I remember something, and I suddenly hit her head. She almost gnawed her face on her plate. 

"What?" She asked furious. 

"What? You're groaning there? Hey! Why did you take the car without informing me? When Daddy finds out, I swear, you'll be going home to Manhattan instantly. Today. Now. There's no extension." Her eyes widened. She really believe that I will tell it to Dad.

"Oh my goodness! Don't! Don't tell Tito, please... I'm sorry. I thought I'd be home early but... I'm not. I'm sorry. I don't want to go back to Manhattan yet. I find happiness here, in your arms," She said dramatically and even stroked my arm. 

My gosh!

"Next time. When you repeat that sister... Goodness! I'm telling you." I crossed my arms and glared at her like I am her evil stepmother. Just kidding!

"I'm sorry. And please, don't call me sister," she said irritably and then continued to eat.

I shrugged my shoulders and put my dish in the sink and then went straight to my room. That one will come up later because for sure, she will be having her late night talk at her phone.

I took a shower for a while and then blew my hair to dry easily. I stared into the mirror and leaned a little to see my curly hair that I inherited from Mommy. Some of my friends like my hair so much. Once again they wished they had just been blessed with such hair. The curls are perfect.

Some called me 'Nazarene' and sometimes they fooled me as if my hair was pancit canton. Well, I don't care because I'm proud to have such beautiful hair. In case I don't want to get a shoulder-length haircut, it doesn't matter to me. I tried to get a haircut before when I was in 7th grade and I was very sorry because I looked like a Peppa pig. So I don't want to. Just cut everything not my hair.

I sat on the bed and stared at the family picture on the side table. The fun we used to have. We kind of love each other so much and no problem is unsolved. But life is just playful... It will and will create a way to have problems, challenges. But they gave us too much so our family was ruined. But this is probably the destiny. I was destined to be hurt. It hurts. I just don’t know how I’m going to release it.

Every time I see Daddy staring seriously at his laptop I do nothing but ask to go back to normal. Wishing that we are complete and feeling the attention that I want from them, the love and care. I honestly don't know where on the continent my mommy and her partner are. I didn't even make an effort to find her.

It's a waste, right? Wasting my effort to find her, but at the end of the day, she will choose that man.

I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and felt the cold and sound coming from the aircon. By this time, all I can hear is the soft touch of my mother and my giggles when I was young. I can also hear my father's voice saying 'I love you' to both of us. I slowly opened my eyes and felt tears dripping from my eyes.

Suddenly my cellphone rang so I immediately wiped away my tears. I sneezed before finally answering the call.

"H-hello."

"Are you okay?" I closed my eyes with his question. Why is it that every time I get hurt, he seems to know?

"Actually... I'm not."

Hopefully this time... This time I can say that I feel the pain that has been stuck in my heart for a long time. And I wishh to get back my longing.