6: Home Alone

Kali:

The house was unusually quiet when I got in. My mom and sister were probably asleep. I sighed in relief, not ready to meet anyone, even my younger sister. I was still overwhelmed from everything that had happened in school that day and I certainly didn’t want to talk about it.

As I tiptoed into the house, all my hopes of avoiding being seen were dashed when my mom appeared at the door of the kitchen, looking down at me with a fake worried look. I immediately straightened my legs, hoping she hadn’t seen me tiptoe.

“How’s my little rebellious daughter doing?” She asked, coming forward to give me a hug.

I patted her back, the smell of curry and all the spices she’d used to cook which was strong on her apron flooding my nostrils.

“I missed you. We both missed you. Now,” she said, dragging me to the dining room. “Tell me all about your day. Make any new friends? Meet any new boys at school?” She winked.

I rolled my eyes.

“My day was quite uneventful unfortunately. I just want to go to bed.”

I started to get up, but she pulled me back down.

“No, no that just won’t do. You wouldn’t let me take you to school. The least you can do is tell me all I missed.”

I gave her a confused look.

“Were you planning to remain at my school to watch me make new friends and meet guys?”

“Just tell me!” She squealed. “You know how important it is to me.”

I sighed. To anyone else, that would have been a very weird thing to say, but I was already used to it at this point. My mom had me pretty young and as a result of that, she had to drop out just before high school to take care of me.

I secretly believed I’d robbed her of her teenage years and it was true. Having me made her change the entire trajectory of her life, a decision no teenager should ever have to make. She never said this, but I inwardly felt guilty for being born when I was.

“Ok,” I said, deciding to get it over with. “I had a cool day. I met a guy who lives in this building and he drove me to school this morning. I met these four blond girls that added me to their group and also a guy who’s trying to k*ll me but at the same time won’t even be bothered to notice me, so yeah. That was my day.”

Her mouth widened and she covered it with her palm, like she’d just heard the most interesting news ever.

“Four blonds wanted you to be their friend? Are they like popular? And pretty? Do you think you can fit in? What did you guys talk about? Tell me everything!”

I usually got second hand embarrassment even when it was just me and her. When she said stuff like this, I didn’t know how to react. I literally just told her a guy was trying to k*ll me, but somehow all she was interested in was whether I was able to fit in with the ‘popular’ girls at school or not.

The excitement in her eyes was just too pure for me to march all over. In some weird fantastical way she probably didn’t realize, she believed she was living her lost years through me.

Sometimes, I felt like we swapped places. I was the older wiser one, while she was the doe eyed one with childlike excitement over basic things, and because I could see what she needed, I was willing to give it to her.

“They’re cool, but I’m a bit skeptical of them. They talk sh*t about everyone else and treat fellow students like servants. I don’t know if I’m ready to join that life,” I said.

I felt like I was doing her a favor by having this conversation with her, but a part of me also knew this was for me. I had no one else to talk to who would even be interested in my day, so why not help us both.

My mom slapped my hand playfully, but it hurt.

“Ow,” I muttered.

I was kind of used to it. That was her way of making me believe I’d just said something really really dumb.

“That’s how all the popular girls act!” She squealed. “That’s what comes with the package. If they’re so nice do you think anyone would rate them enough to make them popular? Kali, joining this group would get you set for life!” I could see her make calculations in her head. “I always knew my good looks in you would come in handy. Look at those boobs. About time they came in. Soon every boy in school would be falling head first just to talk to you.”

“Mom!” I gasped and self consciously shirked my chest from her taunting hands.

From someone whose entire life changed for the worse as a result of someone getting her pregnant at the wrong time, she sure did have a weird fixation of me getting boys’ attention.

I did not have a normal mom.

She chuckled and as though a switch had been turned on inside her, her expression became serious. She got up from her seat and began to pace around, talking as she did.

“We need to get you new clothes. You don’t have enough outfits to make the statement. We don’t want them to think you’re not one of them. Like you’re dirt poor or something. First thing on Saturday we’re going shopping.”

I shook my head, shocked that I still wasn’t used to my mom’s dumb and spontaneous ideas by now.

“But we are dirt poor. We used our savings to move here. We can barely afford enough important stuff. Getting me new clothes should be the least of our worries.”

“Nonsense,” she waved me away. “Money has never been the problem.”

“If you get caught stealing again, you’re gonna end up in jail and that’s going to be even worse for my reputation in school than going there with old clothes,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.”

“It was a false accusation!” She defended, but she didn’t meet my eyes. “How many times will I tell you? Why do you think I wasn’t convicted? Do you want your sister to think her mother is a thief?”

I pursed my lips and crossed my arms. I hadn’t had the best day at school but I wasn’t about to let whatever this was to ruin the rest of it. I still had to go to school the next day and I had a lot of catching up to do. I wasn’t ready for this.

“You know she already ‘thinks’ worse,” I said, and with that, I got up and made a beeline to my room, shutting the door behind me.