Chapter 5

Claire

Andy is like a puzzle that I just can't figure out, this morning when he took me for a driving lesson, we were having fun, laughing and talking, it even felt like we could be becoming friends but that all seemed to disappear once we got to school, Andy slipped back into pretending like I didn't existed. What frustrated me more than anything, though, was that I couldn't get my mind off of him; he was living rent-free in my thoughts, and I didn't like it.

I'd never allowed anyone, especially a boy, to get under my skin before. I found myself becoming increasingly angry with his behaviour and I couldn't even confide in Jupiter about why I was angry at Andy because then I'd have to admit to her that he took me driving and that was a whole can of worms I wasn't ready to spill out so I just watched as the silent war brewed inside of me, threatening to erupt at any given moment.

I just don't understand how someone can be so sweet and friendly when we're alone, but then in public, he ignores me, as if he's embarrassed to be seen with me. Just some sort of acknowledgement would have been enough, like a hi or a nod, hell at this point I'd settle for him starting an argument just to create some sort of interaction. By the time chemistry class started I was craving any sort of attention from him, good or bad, but I decided to give him a dose of his own medicine and ignore him.

Mr Eckles said we'd be doing experiments, so we took our places at our benches and he started writing the experiment on the whiteboard for us to copy down before we would attempt doing it. I took a peek at Andy's workbook as he wrote and noticed he used blue and red pens when he wrote out the chemical list we'd be using. It seemed kind of odd to me that he could be bothered swapping colours when writing the chemical names.

I wanted desperately to ask why he did this, but that would be interacting, and I wasn't going to cave in; this was a challenge that I was going to win, even if it killed me not to know. You see, this Andrew Luke Stephenson, this is me, not showing one ounce of care for you or your weird behaviour.

"Do you want to get the chemicals, and I'll get the equipment?" Andy asks when he's finally finished copying down the method. It's the first time he's actually spoken to me since we got out of his car this morning, and he walked off without even a goodbye.

"Sure," I tell him, deciding he is only deserving of short, sharp responses from me now. I take my workbook with me into the chemical closet at the back of the room and gather up the bottles that we need, which have been individually portioned out for each pair to be able to have their own.

I got back to our bench and set the bottles up so that the acids and the bases are separated because I didn't want Andy to grab the wrong chemical and cause a meltdown. I'm careful when it comes to mixing chemicals, making sure to read the label before I pour them into the beaker, but this was my first experiment with Andy; he could be reckless and just not care, so I wasn't taking any risks.

Andy returned with the equipment and began setting it up without a word. I grabbed the beakers from under the bench and began pouring out our chemicals into each one, keeping a close eye on the amounts we needed. I didn't notice Jupiter was standing in front of me until she dramatically threw herself down onto the bench and sighed.

"What's up, Jup?" I asked her, giggling, we'd been friends so long that I was used to her theatrical outbursts by now and found them somewhat entertaining.

"We need to beg Mr Eckles to reinstate us as partners." She whispers loudly, throwing a look over her shoulder at Val to make sure she can't hear her. "I sent her to get the chemicals and she came back with vinegar, just vinegar. I had to go back and grab the rest myself."

Valery wasn't exactly known for her academics; she cared more about convincing her followers that she was an influencer on I*******m than actually doing schoolwork, which could ultimately lead to finding her real job one day. She was only here because her parent wouldn't allow her to leave school without a career in mind and were standing firm that I*******m wasn't considered a career unless she was making money from her posts, not spending theirs to promote herself. To be stuck with Val was the booby prize that nobody wanted.

"Did she take her workbook into the closet when she went to collect the chemicals?" I ask, trying to think if I saw her with it when we were in there a moment ago. I was too focused on the task at hand to notice Val, though.

"No, of course she didn't because she didn't write anything down, she spent the time in which we were writing to draw love hearts all over her page and inserted Brad's name into them." She huffs loudly, making the students in front turn around. "And yesterday, when we were going over the assignment together, she had no idea what the difference was between acids and bases; she thought a base was her concealer."

"You can borrow my workbook if you want." Andy pipes up beside me, sliding his workbook over to Jupiter. I should find it irritating that he was eavesdropping on our private conversation, but instead, I get a spark of excitement out of the fact that he's talking to us. "I colour code the acids red and the bases blue, that way I know what shelf to look for them and what not to mix together, it might help her to understand the method if she did it this way too."

"That's actually really...smart," Jupiter says to Andy, looking impressed. "I love that idea."

"Thanks, my Mum used to be a chemistry teacher and she taught me that simple but effective trick," Andy explains.

"Jupiter, please return to your own bench." Mr Eckles bellows from the front of the classroom when he spots Jupiter at our bench. She slinks away, back to Val, Andy's workbook in hand.

"Do you mind if we share your workbook?" Andy asks me.

"Not at all." I place my book between us, I don't know why, but sharing my work with Andy makes me feel the flutter of butterflies return to my stomach. Why does just sharing my workbook with him make me feel this way? It's just a workbook.

We begin experimenting, and I write down the results as we mix our chemicals together, taking note of the PH levels and colour changes. Andy and I seem to work in sync with each other easily.

"Thank you for taking me for the lesson this morning," I whisper to him as we watch the changes develop from our experiment. They're only small, subtle differences at first, but over time, you can see the colour go from blue to pink. "It wasn't as scary as I'd built it up in my mind to be."

"It's a bit like sex, really, isn't it?" He chuckles to himself. "Before you do it, you get nervous and overthink all the things that could go wrong, but after a few tries, you get the hang of it and the nerves disappear."

"I wouldn't really know about that," I tell him, feeling my cheeks begin to burn from my own awkwardness. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't look up from the page in front of me. I've never felt embarrassed about my lack of experience until now.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot who I was talking to for a moment." He says in the most apologetic tone, but it leaves me now wondering what he means by 'he forgot who he was talking to', does he think I'm a prude? That I don't talk about sex. I talk about sex all the time with Jupiter, just because I haven't done it doesn't mean I'm not curious about it. Change the subject, Claire, it's the only way to make this awkward feeling go away.

"Do you want to come over and work on the assignment this afternoon?" I ask, hoping that if I put the focus back on school work, it will kill my blush.

"I can't today, sorry, I have plans." He says, and it's like a knife slashed through me, hitting my heart. Plans? He has plans? Who makes plans on a Tuesday after school? He probably has a date with some girl that he met yesterday, that's probably why he's been ignoring me all day so that she wouldn't notice him talking to me, not that I care but when it's interfering with us getting this assignment finished then it's now annoyed me, he's annoyed me, yet again.

"Fine, then I guess I'll just work on the assignment on my own tonight, but don't worry, I still put your name on it," I yell at him, seething with anger. The bell rings for the end of the day, and I grab my bag and storm out of the classroom, leaving behind my workbook and the experiment for him to clean up and put away.

By the time I make it up to the bus shelter, I'm so enraged. Who the hell does he think he is? You'd think, with this being his second chance at grade 12, that he would give more care to his actual school work instead of trying to get his dick wet. I hope he gets an STI that makes his dick fall off.

I sit in the shelter, waiting for Heath, but instead I get Andy, who approaches me in a fiery huff.

"Why are you so pissed off at me Claire?" Andy asks, his face stony as he crosses his arms across his broad chest. "I thought we were good this morning before school, but then you're yelling at me in chemistry, what's that about?"

"Seriously? Is this one of your pathetic mind games, Andrew?" I can't believe he's trying to put this all on me, like he's done nothing wrong.

"I'm not playing any game with you, Claire. I told you I have plans this afternoon, and you cracked a shit at me." The frustration in his tone matches my own; he really can't see how he treated me today.

"You've spent all day ignoring me, and the only time we talked was in chemistry, where you blew me off because you have a date tonight." I can feel the rage rising inside of me, my face is burning, but I'm not going to hold back.

"I'm sorry if it came off as me ignoring you; that wasn't my intention at all." He apologises, uncrossing his arms and softening his features. "I didn't want to intrude on your space with your friends or make you feel like you were responsible for providing me with company."

Hearing this made me feel horrible; it wasn't him ignoring me all day, it was him not feeling comfortable being able to just talk to me.

"You can sit with us at lunch, if you like." I never took into consideration that he's the outsider here, not me. I have my friends and my routine; he has nothing here but Heath and me, and I doubt he'd want to sit with the kids from grade 9.

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that, it kind of sucks, eating lunch alone." He says, giving me a small smile that makes the butterflies return. I wish they'd just fuck off, I have no idea why I get them whenever he's around. "By the way, that date you think I have, it's with my Dad."

"What? You're dating your dad?" Now he's just messing with me for fun, I know it.

"No, I have a counselling session with my dad every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon." He explains, holding my gaze to gauge my reaction. "I'm not dipping out on the assignment, I just can't do it on those days, and I need you not to get pissed at me about that because I'd much rather be doing school work with you than spending the afternoon talking about my feelings and emotions."

I wanted to ask him why he was in counselling, but felt it was too personal, we'd only just started communicating, and I didn't want to push him into feeling like he had to tell me his deepest, darkest secrets.

"I'm sorry I reacted so badly." I apologise, hoping he accepts it.

"It's alright, we're both new to this friendship between us, and things can easily be miscommunicated." He says, granting me another one of those winning smiles. "I have to admit, though, you're kind of cute when you're angry."