Ten Years I'll Never Get Back

Julian's POV

On the drive to Mason's house, he suddenly spoke.

"Thank you, Vanessa. I had a wonderful time today."

Surprise flashed through Vanessa's eyes, and even her voice lifted.

"That's all I wanted. I brought you out so you'd enjoy yourself."

Vanessa's gaze never left him until Mason stepped out of the car and went inside.

As for me, my clothes were covered in dirt and the gash on my forehead was still bleeding, untreated.

She never looked at me once.

The car started moving again.

I didn't say a word until she stopped at a red light.

Only then did she speak.

"Are you angry?"

A drop of blood fell onto the back of my hand before Vanessa finally passed me a tissue.

She tapped the steering wheel and watched the light count down.

"I don't know what else to do. Mason's autism has been getting worse.

"Seeing you like that is one of the few things that calms him."

Her eyes filled with guilt and tenderness as she spoke.

"We grew up together. When his parents died, they asked me to make sure he'd always be cared for."

As though she expected me to doubt her, Vanessa pulled a stack of clinical summaries from her bag.

"Look. Dr. Reyes said just last week that—"

"So as long as he's happy, it doesn't matter if I die?"

I turned toward the window and cut her off.

Vanessa froze, the rest of the sentence trapped in her throat.

Drivers behind us started laying on their horns.

Vanessa came back to herself with a jolt.

As she pulled forward, she opened her phone and transferred money to me.

"Your sister's medical expenses for next month.

"Julian, I need you to be more understanding."

I looked down at the bright screen.

Then I opened our message thread.

As I scrolled, I saw only occasional conversations surrounded by transfer after transfer.

Payment after payment.

For ten years, any time Mason was involved, Vanessa used money to silence everything I wanted to say.

"All right. You took the money, so let's put today behind us.

"I'll take you to the hospital."

As always, Vanessa dismissed the whole thing as though it weighed nothing.

Coldness spread through my body. I opened my mouth to say something, then realized there was no point.

Vanessa had taken up more than half of my adult life.

Yet almost none of that time had ever felt like mine.

Silence filled the car again.

Then her phone rang. Vanessa read the name on the screen and slammed on the brakes.

I was thrown against the window.

My injured forehead struck the glass, smearing blood across it and sending pain through my skull.

"Where are you? I'm coming now."

Only Mason could put that much panic into her voice.

She turned toward me.

"Julian, the hospital isn't far. You can walk from here."

My head throbbed, and pressure sat in my chest that wouldn't rise or fade.

"Is no one else with him? Does it always have to be you?

"My head is bleeding. Even if you're leaving, can't you drop me at the ER first?"

Vanessa didn't seem to hear a word.

She just unlocked the doors.

"I don't have time to argue. Get out."

My hand hung numb at my side.

After I stepped onto the road, her tires threw dust into my eyes as she sped away.