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1. 3. What Are You Doing Here?

Author: Celine
last update Last Updated: 2020-12-15 03:47:47

It's 1am and I'm still not home.

I can't make myself, I don't know why. So I've been sitting in my car which is parked in the parking lot of my apartment building for the past 30 minutes, staring outside of my windshield at nothing. 

Literally nothing.

Overthinking my way into a headache.

Gosh, I'm so pathetic.

I sigh and slam my head on the steering wheel.

It's been an hour since I left Clinton and yet I can't stop thinking about him or the night. It's making me feel all kinds of weird, good kind of weird's which I've been trying to process but I can't. Seriously. 

Hence, the headache.

The fact that Jason keeps calling me every minute is not helping either. And I know even though he's upstairs right now in my apartment, waiting for me whilst I've been overthinking for half hour, I can't make myself go upstairs.

Somehow...

Somehow it feels odd. Like I don't want to face him because all these thoughts in my head, all these weird feelings for Clinton that have erupted in my chest just by spending a night with him feels like betrayal to Jay.

As if I wronged Jason in someway. Even though, Jason and I were never a thing, despite the fact that I love him in a way that's more than just a best friend, makes me feel disgusted.

Disgusted at me for betraying Jason when I technically didn't and disgusted to feel something for someone by just spending a night with them.

It's odd. This situation.

Man, I just wish I could get over this.

***

After spending 30 minutes in my car doing nothing, I couldn't stand the thought of sitting there and rotting away in there for my entire life.

Thankfully, I had my keys so I wouldn't have to ring the bell.

So the next thing you know, I'm slowly twisting my keys through the keyhole of my door as silently as possible when the door opens from inside and is wrenched in the midst of my key twisting.

I gasp at the sudden unexpected movement when I look up to a heaving Jason who's looking at me rather strangely.

I scrunch my brows in confusion at him. 

But before I'm able to say anything, I'm pushed into his hard chest as he hugs the life out of me. And that's when I feel it. My body tingling in all the wrong places and in all the wrong ways as Jason hugs the hell out of me. 

Oh boy, I can't breath.

Though Jason has no idea as he squeezes the hell out of me, lifting me mid-air and pulling me inside the apartment, closing my door behind.

"Jay, I can't.... br-brea-th...", I muster out somehow, half of which is muffled under his shirt.

But he's hugging me like I'll disappear any minute; he's hugging me like his life depends on it, literally. And I can't think straight.

It's like that part of me that's secretly in love with Jason just ignites up, pushing aside all my new feelings from last night and replacing them with the ones that have been there forever.

Somehow I feel its unfair but then Jason squeezes me one more time for reassurance, breathing in my hair and kissing my head and I'm back to that girl who fell in love with him and all that matters now is him. 

Him and him, only.

So, I hug him back like I never want him to leave me and he returns it, no matter I'm literally out of breath at the moment but I'm still hugging him like my life depends on him and not vice versa.

God, I'm so... so sorry, Jason.

And this is for the feeling that I felt a little for someone else who wasn't supposed to call me last night, make spontaneous plans with me last night, to take me to the beach last night and make me feel more than just a shadow in the darkness.

I silently tell him in my mind to give me some kind of peace but when he pulls away and looks at me in that worry filled gaze, I hug him back.

"I'm sorry, Jay. For everything. I'm sorry. I didn't know how much you were -", but he cuts me off.

"Shh... It's okay. You're here now. That's all that matters", I hear him sniffle.

"Jay...", I pull back and my eyes water a little at seeing him tear up.

And that's when I smell it.

That smell of beer. My eyes move over to my coffee table and the snacks on it along side which lay two bottles of beer. Two bottles of beer emptied.

Looks like someone drank my bit too.

His eyes are bloodshot but I know better. It's from the beer.

How could I not have seen this before.

I blink away to get rid of the unwanted tears which gathered a minute ago in my eyes like the feelings which came to surface with it and buried them in back to where I they came from.

And then, I sigh.

I do it alot. I know. But with a friend like this you've to and a job like mine, you've to. Or you need it, it's a natural instinct, really.

I push past him as the exhaustion from the night passes onto my shoulders and stoop my way to my room.

I hear Jay call for me like a child whining but I choose to ignore him by closing the door and locking it.

The next few minutes are a blur of a warm shower, a fresh set of clothes and brushing teeth. By the time I'm finished with it, I'm so sleepy that I just want to slump on my bed and sleep for a whole of eternity.

But that can wait because I really need to check on best friend.

So pushing my wet hair out of my face, wearing pajamas, I head to my living room only to find a very peacefully, smelly Jay, half up, half down, slumped on my couch with the TV(which is switched on) light catching his face as he snores lightly.

A slight smile graces my lips as I look at him. 

He looks so cute like that.

I smile at him and head to the guest room in search for a blanket for Jay. I drape it over him and sit on my knees in front of the couch, watching him sleep peacefully.

His hair is sticking up in various directions and his lips are formed into a cute little pout as his arms are spread over his head in a adorable manner.

Instinctively my hand reaches up to run my fingers softly through his hair and he moans a little, shifting his body in sleep to face me.

And the smile on my face can't widen anymore.

I gently kiss his forehead and whisper goodnight to him and get up from his side before I get carried away.

I remove his shoes and socks and place them by the couch and switch off the TV. I look at him one last time sleeping peacefully and head back to my room to sleep myself.

As soon as I get under the covers, my phone beeps, indicating a notification.

It's a message from Clinton.

My brows scrounge up in confusion as to why he's texting me at this hour in the night when I remembered that before going to shower, I texted him that I reached home because he asked me to.

I open the message, instantly to see his reply.

*Thank you for a wonderful evening, Ms Blue. Goodnight*, ~ Clinton Valsera

*Goodnight, Clinton*, ~ Justine Blue

I texted him back and placed my phone back on the night stand before going to a peaceful slumber immediately with a small smile on my lips.

***

Next morning I woke up to the music blaring in my apartment. 

What the...

I groan as I bury my head further into the pillow and aimlessly reach for my phone on the night stand. As soon as I grasp it, I pull it closer to my face and try to wipe out the reluctant sleep from my eyes. 

Cracking open an eye, I look at the time and my eyeballs literally pop out of the socket. 

Honestly, this is the worst way to wake up. 

Especially now that I know I'm super late for work today. 

Thank you, Clinton Valsera. 

I mentally send Clinton a glare. 

Sprinting out of my bed, I freshen up as fast as possible, scrambling through my closet for my work-wear, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, washing my face, pinching my cheeks to bring color to my cheeks and apply decent enough makeup in record time before heading outside my room where the music is blaring in full swing. 

I run towards the kitchen and place my tote bag along with the car keys and everything on the breakfast bar that divides the kitchen from the living room. But the moment I look at the person dancing around in my kitchen, my mouth falls agape and I have a hard time breathing as suddenly all the heat reaches to my cheeks. 

Oh, yes. You guessed it, right. 

The only person I can trust on roaming half naked in my house is Jason Faux A. K. A. my best friend. Apparently his sweatpants are hanging so low, along with the level of my thoughts that it would put any best friend to shame. 

But could you blame me? 

The guy's pretty hot and handsome and I'm in love with him so he's mine ladies, watch it. 

My heart clenches a little, as a very half naked Jason saunters towards me with a pan of pancakes in his hand and gently places the pancake on the empty plate he had already laid out for me. 

Talk about professionalism. 

I hold in a scoff as I ogle a little on his glorious chest when he's not paying attention to me, completely ignoring the tempting smell of the pancake. 

Mustering up strength, I glare at him when he looks up at me with that mischievous glint in his eyes as a smile graces his beautiful face. 

It takes everything in me not to return that smile. 

"Voila! Here's your breakfast, madame. Now, eat up, the clocks ticking", he winks at me, reminding me how late I'm. 

I narrow my eyes at him. 

"What did I tell you about not being half naked in my kitchen?", I whisper-yell at him. 

"Well, your welcome for making breakfast for the working", he says in a mock offending tone and places a hand at his chest feigning hurt. 

"You're such a-", I start but he cuts me off. 

"an amazing best friend, just marry me already Jason, I love you", he flutters his lashes at me, mimicking my voice. 

How did he know? 

"'Drama Queen'. I was going to say 'drama queen'", I say it twice to emphasize on it. 

Even though he told what's in my heart and mind(well, not literally. Okay, fine. Yeah, sue me) I keep up the act. 

"Sure, you were. Now eat up. I'm heading for a bath, I'll meet you at evening today, at mine's. Do not be late. I missed you last night but not today, also I'm still mad at you for leaving me last night", he says as a he rounds the breakfast bar to me. 

"Fine, whatever", I roll my eyes, not sounding least bit sorry for bailing on him last night. 

"Have a good day and miss me a little would you? bye", he kisses my cheek softly 

"Thank you, I'll meet you at yours for sure", I tell him as he leaves for the guest room.

"You better", he shouts from his room in a warning tone.

Even though, Jason insisted we stay together in his penthouse after we graduated because obviously he wanted his best friend with him whenever he needed her, I declined because you know why... 

Yeah, I'm in love with him, that's why. 

And living with him would mean that the possibility of him knowing that would be close to a zero in no time, especially when he roams like that in his own house. 

Well, at least he has the decency of wearing sweatpants in my apartment. 

I huff out a breath, silently. Taking deep breaths I compose myself. Instantly, I reach out to my cheeks and feel them all hot and bothered just like my whole body right now.

But before I can ponder on my thoughts more, my phone starts ringing impatiently in my bag. 

I reach for it and my other best friend's name(who is also my assistant) flashes on it.

"Hey, Liza. I'm on my way don't worry-", I start but she cuts me off.

"You better be because Damon just arrived and trust me, you don't want him to know you're late", she rants, referring to our boss, Damon the demon. 

Well, that's not exactly his name but that's what we call him behind his back. It's our thing. 

My blood runs cold at that and I literally feel all the blood draining from my face.

"Oh my God, I'm coming. Just hold on, if he somehow happens to want to meet with me-"

"which he will"

"-then try to hold him for a while. Show him our statistics report and explain it to him in detail, keep him engaged, do anything, just cover up till I'm there", I rush out.

And the next thing you know, I'm abandoning the sweet pancakes my Jay made me and am running out of my apartment to my office which is at max twenty minutes from my apartment.

***

Empty stomached, partially disheveled I race across the lobby of my office building checking in with the bitch-y receptionist (who happens to be bitch-y only towards me for some odd reason).

Just as I saw the elevator's door were about to get closed, I darted for them in a haste.

Thankfully before they could close completely I was able to push them apart and enter. The fact that I went all wonder woman on the elevator doors did nothing for the people already inside who were obviously giving me 'the looks'.

You definitely don't want to know which ones, trust me.

Thankfully after a few excruciating minutes of waiting and people pushing through me to get out of the elevator, I reach my floor.

As soon as I get out of the elevator, I find Lisa Hayden A. K. A. my best friend slash my assistant, waiting for me. Well, actually she was my assistant before she became my every day confidant and then my best friend but now its all the same, nevermind.

Back to the race.

I'm so happy to see her face, my legs nearly give out at the scowl she's giving me at the moment.

"What is the situation?", I ask her impatiently.

"You're clear. Thank the God, Damon hasn't found out you were not in the office otherwise you would've been fired today", she says as we walk through the cubicles towards my cabin while I wave all my colleagues every now and then, greeting them.

"It's that bad?", I ask her, distracted-ly smiling at my fellow mates.

"You don't want to know", she tells me with a straight face.

"Right", I clear my throat as we finally reach the door to my cabin.

But before I go in, I ask Lisa for all the updates and progress on all the upcoming dates and how everyone is handling it.

"I'll compile them in a moment and show them to you in your office", she says as her hands start arranging papers on her cubicle desk.

"Thank you so much, Lisa. I don't know what I would do without you", I heave out a exhausted sigh and wipe the invisible sweat off my forehead.

"I know", she smiles at me.

I hug her before heading towards my cabin. 

As soon as I enter my cabin, I close the door. 

Exhausted from the run, I rest my head against the door, taking a moment of peace to clear my head and racing heart for the day when I'm interrupted by a voice behind me.

"Mmm... Your ass looks really tempting in that skirt, baby", a deep voice speaks from behind me.

I yelp and jump half way through the roof at that alone as my heart rate increases several notches.

I know that voice... Oh no...

My face falls instantly at that thought and I almost fall on my feet as I turn around to face the person sitting in my chair, behind my desk, happily swiveling in it. 

"Clinton... What are you doing here?", I try to smile but fail. 

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    Dear readers,This section is dedicated to you. Without you this book wouldn't have been possible. It's the love of five years received by you and your love for this book that made me write it. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. Your comments, your votes, they motivated me in times of stress, sadness and brought me so much joy and motivation to keep going and not second-guessing stuff. Thank you so so so much, really.And at last, thanks to Anoushka and Manav for always staying by my side, supporting my writing, hyping the book like crazy and just being the best friends that you're. I love you guys the most! Also to my parents and my brother for yet again, not being aware of this book other than that it exists and I hope it stays the same in the future because God, I never wish to traumatize you with the smut scenes and be disowned in the process lol.All my love,Celine

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