A cheat

I dropped my legs down the side of the bed, suddenly fed up with the antiseptic smell on my skin; the lingering proof that, so far in my unconsciousness, I had only been wiped down with wipes.

I looked at Kan, wondering if it was him. 

“Where are you going?” he asked urgently as I put my weight on my feet.

“I need a shower,” I replied, standing up fully. “I hate how I smell.” 

I must have misjudged my strength, or my legs were just too weak from having not been used for days, but my body swayed and Kan was by my side in a flash. 

“I am fine.” I tried to shrug him off, but my head seemed to contract and expand at that. 

Kan wrapped his arm around me then, and hugged me. 

I stood there, my face in his chest, for a few minutes, waiting for my dizziness to stop.

My eyes pricked with tears and I pressed my lips together. 

Was this too much to ask for? Why did it suddenly seem like both the men I had liked were terrible choices?

I stepped back, and Kan let me go gently, looking down at me. 

“I’m coming with you, Ariel,” he said. “I cannot have you passing out alone in the bathroom.” 

I went quiet. I had no real reason to refuse him. 

He had watched me give birth, and I did not really care about him seeing my nakedness. 

I only did not want to encourage intimate activities with him, since it was clear now that our marriage would never be a real one.

But short of climbing back to this bed and deciding not to bathe, there was no real reason I could give that would not seem like I was jealous and still throwing a tantrum about his real woman. 

This unknown woman.

“OK,” I said, and walked away to the bathroom. 

He walked closely behind and when we got in, he walked past me and turned on the shower, regulating the heat.

I loosened the ropes holding my dress up and stepped out of it. I did not look away like my old self would have done. 

There was no need to pretend that he was not going to stare at my body as soon as that dress came off.

I walked past him and stood under the shower, my back to him. 

I scrubbed and tried not to think of him standing behind him. If this had happened in the past, he would definitely have made a move on me, and maybe I would not have said no.

But he lost the right to my body after those pictures. 

I wondered how he became aware that I knew though, because he had been sorry from the moment I opened my eyes. 

I shook my head under the water. 

All the people who saw me turn just before the elevator must have talked, and then he must have summed up the whole situation that I somehow found out.

“Ariel.” 

My back stiffened at his voice so close. 

“You should use a shampoo to avoid damaging your hair."

I nodded without a word and took both hands up to my hair as I felt the cold liquid dropping on my scalp. 

I scrubbed as the water pressure increased and knew Kan must have opened the shower some more.

When I opened my eyes, he was standing in front of me. His hair was wet, his eyes red and his clothes damp.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly.

I looked away, impatient to be done and get out now. I really did not care for his apology. 

“I did not do it,” he said, and then my hands froze and fell to my side.

“What did you just say?” My throat still hurt and itched a little whenever I spoke. 

“I did not sleep with anyone.”

I frowned and stepped back, feeling rage for the first time. 

Not hurt or bitterness, but pure rage. 

I looked at him through the steady stream of water now beating down on both of us as he moved closer. 

I knew I came to him as an absolutely naive girl.

But I was not so naive to believe this bullshit. I found it insulting that he would think I would believe that lazy lie.

“I have pictures, Kan.” I said angrily. “Maybe you did not know that. Your real woman sent me that.”

He winced and shook his head. 

“I was drunk, but I did not sleep with her. Those pictures were manipulated. I have proof.” He dug his phone out of his pocket and swiped hurriedly.

I stared at him, wondering how I got here. This playing field of trillionaires and eternal strife and luxury and cheating men. 

“Look.” He held the phone out. 

I reluctantly looked in and saw it was an image from security footage of his office that night. 

This image was taken from another angle that showed Kan really had not been fucking the woman. They were both partly naked, but it did not look like they were fucking.

My stomach twisted in disgust. Who would do such a thing? Who was so desperate to go to this length?

“Why was a woman in your office at that time? Almost naked?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I was drunk.” He looked at me with pleading, honest eyes. 

“Who is she?”

He shook his head. 

“I don’t know. She seemed to have known where the security camera was and kept her face away the whole time,” he said.

I frowned, watching him. 

It was a scary thing to think that one of the women at that company had it this bad for Kan, and was ready to risk it all like this.

“Your office does not have such easy access. Did you check with your secretary?”

“It was late, and my secretary had left her station for a few minutes that night.”

My eyes widened. “The exact time this strange woman walked in? And you don’t find that suspicious.”

Kan shrugged and rubbed his neck down. “This whole thing has left me confused. I tried to find answers all this time you have been unconscious.”

We went silent, just staring at each other. 

It relieved me to know he did not actually go fucking another woman. But something still did not feel right, and I did not like it.

He must have sensed my anger evaporating because he took the liberty to grab my arms. 

“I could never cheat on you, Ariel.”

“But this is not a real marriage,” I said almost immediately.

“It does not have to remain that way.” He began to move closer and I stepped back. 

“I had the same thought when I came to Mõshon that night,” I said, pressing my lips together.

“Ariel.” He called. 

I looked up at him, at how the water had swept all his hair down his forehead and some curled up around his temple. Kan was a handsome man.

He had the delicate beauty of the refined Asian man, even his muscles were lean. He is what my mother would always refer to in the past as a beautiful man. 

He looked as masculine as they came, but his face was almost too beautiful for a man.

But his eyes though, that was where all the darkness lay. When you stared in those eyes you could see that he was still a Sullivan, and was capable of many not so-good things.

“My skin is pruning up.” I grabbed a bathrobe from a hanger and walked out of the bathroom. 

Something was not right with all this.